Sounds like Ms. Mare needs a horse cookie when you get off. That will get her salivating and not thinking about where your leg is.
Ok, it’s good progress just to have the actual issue specifically defined. And it sounds like the issue predated your accident and maybe contributed to it (if you were using the mounting block to dismount because your hip was tight).
The fear is psychological of course, bit it is also a rational response to the fact your body knows it can’t quite complete the manoeuvre it needs to keep you safe. So working on the piece of you that is hindering the process is great. As you regain movement you will lose fear.
My first trip out to the local mall after I spent 6 weeks with a non weight bearing broken foot moon boot soft cast. I found myself standing at the top of the escalator frozen with fear because I could not decide which foot to step forward and down with. Could I trust putting the injured foot down? No. Could I trust standing on the injured foot and putting the good foot down? No. I dithered for about a minute then limped away to find an elevator! But a couple weeks later I was fine with escalators.
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She ALWAYS gets cookies after I dismount. And before I mount. She is the goodest girl.
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Have you tried shortening your stirrups a hole or two, at least right before dismounting? That might make it easier to get yourself further out of the saddle so your right leg is higher when it comes over the horse’s back.
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Like I said above…I grab the other stirrup leather while mounting and push down. It gives me a stable base while I work at getting my stanky leg over. I tried it yesterday with dismounting and it worked great. While you have help, you could try it…just like someone else holding your stirrup. Take your time working up to it when you are comfortable.
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This is a very good point. On the occasions that I get on and discover that my stirrups are still trainer length (two holes longer than me), rather than my length, I have instant hip cramps and a good deal more difficulty in getting off again!
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If your head is down below the mane on the right side, you’re about forward enough. Not even kidding. Get that torso onto the neck.
I have a friend who is pretty locked up (age, athletic abuse from other sports) and we did a session last year to help her get that leg over basically without having to use the hip joint at all.
I also find it easier (maybe it’s still old habit from what I was taught many years ago) to lose both stirrups before starting the forward swing. I will watch my friend this weekend to see if she leaves a foot in or not. I can’t remember how we resolved that part - I think she found it easier with both feet out, but I will double check.
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This morning the sun was shining and it was in the mid forties. Then the wind picked up.
I had the butt blanket on MJ, the Incrediwear Neck Wrap and Hoof Socks (up over his knees), his BOT poll cap and Fenwick Face Mask with Ears, the Fenwick Western saddle blanket that covers a lot of his loins, and I wished I had brought another butt blanket to put over the one he already had on. I had 3 layers on my torso and I was wearing my Kerrits cold weather silicon full seat breeches with the fleece lining. I should have put more clothes on too.
I got on fine. After 17 minutes of riding with the horses in the paddocks exploding into space all around us the wind picked up some more. I wimped out even though MJ was behaving.
I got to the 3-step mounting block to dismount. I got my seat out of the saddle fine but I just COULD NOT get my right leg to swing back over the cantle. After the third time of my right leg not moving at all my riding teacher called her husband out so he could lift my right leg up, back and over. I did drag my toes over MJ’s croup since my body was acting like my right leg was a completely different and foreign part of my body.
Today I needed two people helping me dismount. Totally humiliating.
That cold brisk wind just “froze” my right thigh enough so I could not move it much at all.
Maybe I should look into buying a riding skirt for this winter.
Luckily the horse cooperated, he also wanted to get out of the cold wind.
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Please don’t feel humiliated. Your body didn’t behave. That can be a thing for those of us who don’t have issues like yours!
I hope that you can find some humour at these moments going forward. “Leg union on strike again. Can someone please help me off or order me dinner if I’m going to be stuck up here for the foreseeable future?”
That’s not easy though at the time it’s happening. I know the few times my right hip thingy has cramped up, my first reaction is fear, then frustration, then fear of pain if I can’t get the stupid thing unlocked before I need to dismount.
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Sometimes it truly takes a village. Nothing wrong with needing help. My trainer said the barn needs what the rodeo guys use to mount. We could also use it for dismounting. Ride into it, the horse stands, and we gently step off….
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I had a clean dismount today. My trainer held the offside stirrup. I leaned forward so that my head was level with her mane on the right side. I was able to swing my right leg up and over with no problem.
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This is what I use to mount. I had a spinal cord injury and can’t feel my legs, so I need a super stable, high mounting block. I won’t dismount onto it because i can’t feel my feet and it makes me super anxious to even try.
I sometimes need someone to help push my right leg over the cantle, but I can mount safely on my own with these steps.
Sheilah
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I checked while dismounting the last few times and my routine is lose the stirrups first then lean forward so my head is indeed a bit below the neck on the right. Then slide off onto soft footing holding onto the saddle lightly so I don’t topple backwards 
When I used to get off on the mounting block I was staying more upright like a Western rider. You can get clocked in the face if horse tosses her head!
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Yep, I’m with this. I don’t do a normal dismount because I fear my zipper will mark my saddle (it’s a fear, maybe not a reality). I have a leather grab strap in front of the pommel and use that to stabilize myself when I land. I put a hand on the mane and a hand on the grab strap and swing off. My horse is used to this.
This is a legit fear (so is mounting). I agree with people who say getting off onto a block may not be the best bet, however my caveat for me is I have spent A LOT of time working with my (16.3) horse on mounting and dismounting because I have lots of metal in me from a car accident. I am just not bendy anymore. He literally has to be the perfect distance from a block for me to get on- not ideal.
Anyway, I my fear (really more anxiety for me) has gone away, for the most part. sigh - I did “cookie training” (which I never did when I was younger) and now he stands like a rock. He actually will adjust himself to some degree by the block- particularly when it is time to get off. I do kick both feet out of the stirrups, swing my right leg over, kind of hang as I feel with my feet. Not saying this is the way to do it, just what has worked for me. I give him credit- his mounting and dismounting he is like a rock now- very cookie motivated 
My friend took a video of my crawling back on him on a trail recently where he just stood there, basking in the ridiculousness of his mother (waiting for his cookie).
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I Calf-Manna trained my Arab years ago to stand quietly while I mounted from a car bumper. It worked really well. He wasn’t moving till he got his mouthful of the treat.
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Right? Now he drags me to anything that even remotely resembles something I can climb up on 
( and down off of )
Norman mounting 2024
This is prob my proudest moment of the horse that used to take off when you mounted from a block. And the fact my 53 year old knees managed to crawl up on him 
My trainer texted me “cookie training for the win”.
I absolutely did scratch my saddle with my belt buckle at some time in the past. In response I formed the habit of pivoting my body so I still slide down alongside the saddle but my hip rather than belly is in contact as I slide.
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I am dead impressed with your ability to ground mount. I couldn’t haul my fat ass onto a Shetland pony.
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A lot of people have given good advice about the mechanics, but not much about fear.
WIth regard to the fear, there is a good article in the latest (Nov/Dec 2024) USDF Connections about recovering from fear after a accident. The title is “Moving Beyond Fear” by Kara Stewart, and it reccomends, among other sources, “The Body Keeps Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” and "“Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma”.
The rider in the article is coming back from a much more serious injury (traumatic brain injury, crushed leg) but the fear is the same regardless of how serious the injury.
If you are a member of a GMO, or know someone who is, you should be able to get hold of the article. But a high level summary is “take tiny steps, even if your rational brain thinks it is silly”.
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