Fear Over Fences - How to Deal With Lack of Confidence?

[The_Fault_In_Our_Sta]

If this sounds like the thread that I found below, please feel free to tell me to consult that thread, however, I feel I am a bit different. Let me explain:

I have been riding for 17 years (With a 1 year break that just ended back in April of this year.) doing mostly hunter/jumpers. The trainers I ride with all say the same thing “Erin, you ride great on the flat, but over fences you lose every bit of confidence you have. Did you have a crash or a bad horse? What happened?” And I can never tell them one specific occurrence, but I know I hate being run away with because I hate the feeling of not being in control. If I don’t trust the horse or feel they are going to misbehave after the fence, I tense up and literally shut down. If I’m riding a horse I trust and know, I’m much better. Now, here’s the kicker. I am an assistant trainer for a barn in California. I shouldn’t (and can’t!) have these brain melt downs.

Does any one have any suggestions of people I can talk to (via Skype, phone calls, so on), books I can read, things I can listen to in order for me to remove my head from my butt? I get extremely frustrated with myself when this debilitating mental block happens and I just want to be able to tell myself to shut off the negative thoughts in my head (or as my current trainer tells me, ‘take the negative thoughts, put them in a box, shut the lid and put them aside.’) I don’t need to be coddled and told its ok. I’m far beyond needing comfort. I’m to the point where I need someone to kick me in the pants and tell me to get over myself.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[brody]

There is an online course about to start at fenzi academy about making your brain your third partner in animal sports.

http://www.fenzidogsportsacademy.com/index.php/courses/2443

Horse people are more than welcome to take course. The rates range depending on what level you want. To simply observe the lectures and do the homework on your own is $65 I think. To get individual feedback on the work you do is about $225 I think and there is a mid range that lets you ask questions too.

Don’t let the fact the other courses are dog oriented turn you off. Lots of good info applicable to anybody needing help with their mental game.

[SuzieQNutter]

It is hard with you needing to do it for your job. I would say for a couple of months only ride the horses you trust. You will know when you are ready for the other horses as you will suddenly want to ride them.

[Thoroughbred_in_Colo]

I really had a hard time after a bad fall a few years ago. I was riding a very young, very green horse in the indoor when she was spooked by an unexpected sound (friend of the barn owner was attempting repairs to the barn without warning those of us who were riding). She bucked and I stuck with her for a while, but ultimately came off, severely injuring my neck in the process.

With the physical limitations placed on me by my injury and the doctors it was over six months before I got back on a horse. By that time the fear had set in and I would have panic attacks when I tried to ride the horse that the accident happened with, even though it was not her fault.

What finally helped me was finding a sports psychologist to talk to. She helped me to get past the fear and anxiety by giving me mental exercises to do while riding. After that it was just a matter of riding as much as possible, pushing myself a little more each time, to get back to where I was before.

If I were in your situation, I would be jumping as much as possible, preferably on a push button horse. Go back to the basics. Start small (~2’) on a horse you are comfortable with. Singles and gymnastics. Focus on your form. Breathe! Count your strides out loud (this one really worked wonders for me) and ultimately try to relax.

[Foxglove]

Consider joining a fox hunt. Seriously. First, you have adults around you and no trainers. You have a professional staff who want nothing more than for you to have a good ride. At our hunt and most others I’ve been out with, there are levels of riders and options always to jump, or not to jump. I should think that a few no-stress rides with a good group of people who are NOT focused on form, counting strides, or two point position, but do ride vigorously over varied terrain would do you wonders. From what you’ve said, you’d most likely be a star among them as many fox hunters haven’t taken many lessons, or if they did, it was years ago. Perhaps a day at the hunt would restore your pure enjoyment of riding, and when that happens there are always fences to try at all levels of ability. When I started my new horse 10 years ago (3rd hunt horse in 40 years), I moved back to the hilltoppers. I didn’t trust the sneaky little QH with the bad attitude. I’d simply wanted to give a 4-H reject (my DD rejected him from 4-H) a job and was between good hunt horses. When he didn’t fall down and I didn’t fall off, we started to relax and enjoy our rides after Mr. Fox. Ten years later he’s the leader of first flight and everyone’s go-to horse when there’s a frisky, flighty, or run-away horse. He even packs double when someone is separated from a horse. We added fences every time we were out until he will jump everything he’s put to. We didn’t have any confidence in each other when we started, but by the end of the first hunt season, we were a team.

Foxglove

[One_Two_Three]

I can sympathize. I was a ballsy Junior, took a few years off, came back and started (mostly) ponies. For whatever reason when I’m working the ponies, flat work is fine, but jumping is kind of a stressor! Something about those spindly short legs with those even shorter necks going over anything over 2ft gives me a queasy stomach. Current project mare has a short neck and jumps like a big warmblood. She’s ready to try somethinh like 2’6 because she respects those heights more, but I’m sort of a little terrified to do it. Not as forgiving on a short neck’ed high jumping pony.

Anywho, I would say to overall get your mojo back, ride a trusty safe schooler. One that you know won’t refuse, and that will pretend like any mistake you made doesn’t exist. I often hop on the packer at the barn to psych myself up to work the pony. It does help.

[Ray]

[QUOTE=The Fault In Our Stars;7863269]

… here’s the kicker. I am an assistant trainer for a barn in California. I shouldn’t (and can’t!) have these brain melt downs. … I get extremely frustrated with myself when this debilitating mental block happens …I’m to the point where I need someone to kick me in the pants and tell me to get over myself. [/QUOTE]

you are being too hard on your self! do really think trainers (and Grand Prix riders) are immune from fear ? um, no.

the good news, you can banish or at least mitigate your fear but it takes time and work. books, I really liked Janet Sasson Edgette’s “Heads Up”. Someone to talk to - Doris Worcester. http://www.equestriansuccess.com/ She helped me a great deal!

[Frog_Pond]

[QUOTE=Ray;7865096]
you are being too hard on your self! do really think trainers (and Grand Prix riders) are immune from fear ? um, no.

the good news, you can banish or at least mitigate your fear but it takes time and work. books, I really liked Janet Sasson Edgette’s “Heads Up”. Someone to talk to - Doris Worcester. http://www.equestriansuccess.com/ She helped me a great deal![/QUOTE]

Great advice. If it were as simple as kicking your own butt, it would have worked by now I’m on the other coast so can’t recommend anyone local, but, google equine sports psychology. There are people who work with accomplished riders like you who can offer more than the usual equine-world advice to suck it up, grab mane, drill yourself, yadda yadda yadda. Those work for some situations. For what you’re dealing with, there are lots of relaxation techniques that aren’t at all mystical or hard, but do need to be learned and practiced. Sally Swift taught them, Linda Tellington Jones teaches them, Mark Rashid teaches them. Be nice to yourself and look for a mentor from this school of thought.

[Ray]

the technique that worked for me is EMDR. google it. its used for PTSD. you will need to do this with a therapist in person, at least I think so… its very effective

[Frog_Pond]

EMDR is a great suggestion. It’s fast, simple and very effective, and doesn’t require hours of talk therapy!

[Bristol_Bay]

[QUOTE=The Fault In Our Stars;7863269]
If this sounds like the thread that I found below, please feel free to tell me to consult that thread, however, I feel I am a bit different. Let me explain:

I have been riding for 17 years (With a 1 year break that just ended back in April of this year.) doing mostly hunter/jumpers. The trainers I ride with all say the same thing “Erin, you ride great on the flat, but over fences you lose every bit of confidence you have. Did you have a crash or a bad horse? What happened?” And I can never tell them one specific occurrence, but I know I hate being run away with because I hate the feeling of not being in control. If I don’t trust the horse or feel they are going to misbehave after the fence, I tense up and literally shut down. If I’m riding a horse I trust and know, I’m much better. Now, here’s the kicker. I am an assistant trainer for a barn in California. I shouldn’t (and can’t!) have these brain melt downs.

Does any one have any suggestions of people I can talk to (via Skype, phone calls, so on), books I can read, things I can listen to in order for me to remove my head from my butt? I get extremely frustrated with myself when this debilitating mental block happens and I just want to be able to tell myself to shut off the negative thoughts in my head (or as my current trainer tells me, ‘take the negative thoughts, put them in a box, shut the lid and put them aside.’) I don’t need to be coddled and told its ok. I’m far beyond needing comfort. I’m to the point where I need someone to kick me in the pants and tell me to get over myself.

Any and all help is greatly appreciated. Thanks![/QUOTE]

I am a big weenie so I sympathize.

There was just a similar thread in the H/J forum. Lots of suggestions there. Good luck!

http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/showthread.php?452353-Name-of-a-good-sports-psychologist-that-can-consult-over-the-phone

[Bristol_Bay]

Adding that I do a lot of visualization when I take a jumping lesson. I am talking baby cross rails here!

I also read something somewhere that went something like this:

Are you going to use your imagination to help you or hurt you?

When I feel the fear rising that my horse will spook, buck, trip, etc., I interrupt the pattern with that question, and start visualizing the freedom and fun of riding my horse. It helps!

[Thoroughbred_in_Colo]

[QUOTE=Bristol Bay;7867197]
Adding that I do a lot of visualization when I take a jumping lesson. I am talking baby cross rails here!

I also read something somewhere that went something like this:

Are you going to use your imagination to help you or hurt you?

When I feel the fear rising that my horse will spook, buck, trip, etc., I interrupt the pattern with that question, and start visualizing the freedom and fun of riding my horse. It helps![/QUOTE]

I bolded what I think is probably the most important part of getting past a fear. You have to interrupt the pattern, whether it is through visualizing a positive outcome, counting or singing a song.

For me, counting strides is what worked. Not hunter ring mental stride counting but one, two…seven, eight, JUMP! Having a mantra to repeat when I got scared was my psychologist’s idea, the shouting jump to psych myself up came from John Turner telling me (repeatedly) to be more aggressive with my riding during a clinic.

[SportArab]

What worked for me was to think about what there was to be afraid of. The panic attack thing is not thought out. It just happens. Sometimes if you can force yourself to think logically about what could happen to you (and if the jumps are low, the answer usually is not much) it can help you overcome the attacks.

[talkofthetown]

Lots of really good ideas here, I just wanted to add my experience. I started riding when I was 5, started at a barn with a “trainer” where it was common for kids to fall off in every lesson. Luckily, instead of causing fear it made me one tough little kid. You can throw me on just about any rank green bean you can find and I’m golden. Point me at a 2’3 vertical and I’m a different rider. I’ve never had a really traumatic fall, but I did own a pony that was a dirty stopper if you didn’t ride him just right to the fence. It taught me to anticipate the stop, which turned into me not riding correctly to the fence. What helped was letting me jump around on good, solid citizens who would.not.stop. Like some people have stated above, I got to put my fears on the back burner and just have FUN. I have two memories that will always stay fresh in my mind.

The first was riding a former 1* event horse schooling XC. It was one of my first times riding with this trainer, and I explained that I loved to jump but it scared me. She had us swap horses so I could play around with the packer. We ended up galloping fences, schooling stuff way higher than I had jumped before, and got caught in a downpour. Totally out of my comfort zone, but I had a BLAST. The horse completely took care of himself and me, so that I could focus on relaxing and having fun.

The second was a catch ride on a friend’s mare curing a jumping clinic. We had both ridden in the clinic that morning, but during that ride friend’s horse bucked hard and threw her back out. She had brought a second horse for the afternoon, so she offered me the ride. She was a sweet, honest little foxhunting mare, that did the same thing: took care of both of us.

Between those two horses, plus other lessons, good rides, etc, it really reminded me how to a) trust my mount, and b) have fun and suppress the fear. Not saying it’s as simple as one good ride, and I do still get nervous sometimes. But the good experiences helped me more than any other book or mental exercise did.