Ok, I know this isn’t a physical issue, but it is mental, and I need some help with coping mechanisms, and maybe even some moral support.
My last horse was a great kind of guy, but his last couple of years, he got really, really spooky. I came off hard many times from some serious spin and bolt spooks from the canter. I was never hurt physically, but apparently it caused a more serious problem. We eventually found out that the horse was going blind, and he was eventually euthanized as a result of that.
However, now I am bringing along my colt. He’s five now, and is a really great guy. He’s calm, kind, and was born broke. I have owned him since he was 4 months old, and I’ve done all of his training thus far. He is quite solid at the walk and trot. He does small cross rails, and is a star on the trail. I am exceptionally confident that he will NEVER do anything to hurt his rider. This is the horse that out on the trail got into ground bees. He bucked one time, I yelled, and he stopped and stood, shaking, while the bees stung him. I looked down, saw the bees, and got him out of there. He’s really a good guy.
But I am TERRIFIED of cantering now. Not just him, but any horse. I have tried taking some lessons on wonderful school horses, and I have the same reaction for any of them. I have cantered my boy, and I did in lessons too. Once I convince myself to do it once, I’m better and can generally do more without the panic attack, sweating, and huge heart rate.
I find that I can even talk myself out of riding if I think about cantering the horse. Last night, I was riding, and Merlin was awesome. Calm, forward, paying attention, so I thought, it’s a good night to canter him, and promply had a little panic attack. I pushed through it, and we went half the ring in both directions, but sheesh…it shouldn’t be so traumatic.
What’s funny, is Merlin knows I’m stressed, and will hesitate going into the canter if I’m panicking. If I’m in a good state, he picks it right up. Good pony, but I’m sure he’d appreciate it if I wasn’t such a freak about things.
Any ideas? I’d love input…