Fear

[Molly_Micvee]

Hi All,

I never thought I’d be in this catagory but I am afraid I am, at least for the next year or so. I noticed a Hip Pain post. I realize I’m at home here which feels good. Im not the only one.
I fell off my green Oldenburg mare and broke my pelvic bone right down the middle by first hitting the pomel on the saddle and then falling off and cracking my right hip.
I’m finally walking now, yet still sore and with being able to move around again I am now starting to work with my horses on the ground.

I realize one thing from my fall and that is that happened because I really didnt know what I was doing. I trained one horse on my own from a 4 year old and I really didnt see a problem doing it again. I was wrong!!! This has been such a discouraging experience for me. It was bad enough to know I broke my pelvic bone and even worse when I found out I had to have surgery with 4 screws put in.

        Im healing well but now Ive found Im afraid of the horse that threw me and now another TB mare I have that needs ground work. I put them in the pen and all they do is get wired as hell and behave with separation anxiety like you wouldnt believe.  This TB mare has tried to attack me before when lounging.  This was a long time ago and I made it pretty clear this was not ok back then.   
          I made a mistake with her today and its really discouraged me. Ive been practicing round pen techniques to get her to hook onto me and start to follow me around the arena so she knows Im the alpha Queen as it goes. I started out good. She was began to calm down and was following me a bit and submitting. She did real good for the first time Ive ever tried this.  Why havent I done this before in my training?  I have no clue except for a broken pelvic bone which woke me up  good as to my major mistake with this Oldenburg.  She has seperation anxiety to the hilt and this is why she bucked me off. I was not her Master to focus on and be calm with when I got on her,  the other horses in her view were. 

       So anyways,  I feel awful because today I was working on boundaries issues with this TB and she's GOT them! Shes huge and Im  a little person with post tramatic shock.  Let's call it what it is.  The main problem is head space with her, she pushes into you with her head,  so I started backing her back up,  then I tried the western technique of jiggleing the rope back and forth to get her to wake up and back the heck up. I think I was wrong to use a chain lead. Should have been a rope. She wouldnt respond to it at first so I just trying to be firm until finally she got it!!  Back up fast like she was bowing to me the Queen.  I should have stopped right there, rubbed her and been done.  But no,  I wanted more and asked her again,she ignore it so I did it with more motion and she reared up at me, I let go of the rope and she ran off in the field to to find the other horses lead line dangling.  

        I feel like such a loser!!!   Now Im afraid she thinks she can try that again. the most I could do was walk up to her in the field, by this time she was calm, grab the lead, I asked her to back with out the flinging stuff , she did moderately, bowed her head to the ground, I rubbed and praised her and called it a day.   It scared me!  I guess I pushed her to much with this too soon, This is so new to her and she is so heated sometimes.  And it's all my fault.  I knew nothing about this basic ground training(shown a lot in the western trainers) It works,  it really does.  
 
           Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get her trained to ride safe because Ive been through so much with my injury. I am scared to death!!!!! something bad is going to happen again. 
        I am proud of myself for being this brave so far and re educting myself in areas of training I lack so nothing like this fall with ever happen again.  It isnt easy though. Especially when my horses have been running lose like huligans for the past 6 months. May I should just start by just walking in circles with a lead, halting and backing, respecting my body space. Then let them run in circles around me later.  I do know, that when I get up tight they do,   and the separation anxiety starts up and they have fits bucking in the corner and such.  The same corner I fell off.  Isnt that great.    Any help, or suggestions would be great.  thanks

[Chimera]

Is there any way you can send the TB for training or at least have someone help you with the ground work? From the sounds of it you haven’t done a lot of it, and in dealing with fear issues it might be best if she knows the basics before you try. If that’s not possible, give yourself a break and go slow. She doesn’t need to learn everything in a day and neither do you. Start just by teaching her to lower her head to pressure and put her away for the day, then move on slowly from there. That way she will hopefully feel more comfortable with you because she doesn’t get overwhelmed every time. As she gets more comfortable with you, you will start to get more comfortable with her.

A sports psychologist might be helpful, just to get you to work through some of your fears.

I speak from experience that dealing with hot horses after an injury (mine was not horse related, but it didn’t seem to matter) and time away, especially if you compromised in any way, can be quite scary. For me it was just about going slow and pushing myself to do more and more slowly.