Fearful Amatuer Looking for Inspiration

[twiggy381]

I wasn’t always fearful but after a three year battle with cancer and I am a total whimp. I took almost a two years off showing as well. My newish horse so much as shakes her head and I get off.

I have an older horse I have had forever. He does naughty horse things like bolting, spooking. rushing, stopping and I don’t even notice really. He is just a horse but I have had him so long I know what to expect.

But to get on ANY other horse scares the daylights out of me.

Has anyone come back from severe anxiety around riding and if so how did you do it?

[inca]

I ended up with anxiety over fences after trip to the ER. I actually listened to a self-hypnosis tape that was suggested by a poster on here and also just took my time to slowly gain confidence back. And I found a super reliable horse to lease and then buy! I’ve always been somewhat of a chicken over fences and being dumped 3 times in 6 weeks with the last time resulting in the most severe injury I have ever had just shattered any confidence I had. I also had a very understanding trainer that didn’t push me or belittle me.

I think it’s hard because everyone is different and what works for one person won’t work for someone else.

Is there any reason you can’t just ride your older horse for a while? Maybe have your trainer ride the newer horse? Or get a good younger rider who wants more saddle time to ride the newer horse?

[furlong47]

I went through a period where a bad match with a large horse left me very fearful of jumping. (I had been at 2’6" courses and sometimes larger singles.) The solution to this was going back to a trusty large pony (even though I’m a tall adult) and starting over at crossrails for a while. Then moving the jumps up as they got boring, and then moving onto the less easy horses. It took about a year but I’m back where I was before.

[Green_Light]

I think first you need to figure out what you’re REALLY afraid of. Are you worried that a fall could result in a more severe injury than before due to your cancer? Are you concerned about time away from the horses having affected your riding ability? Getting to the root of your fear allows you to tackle it and work to get rid of it.

[twiggy381]

[QUOTE=furlong47;7987608]
I went through a period where a bad match with a large horse left me very fearful of jumping. (I had been at 2’6" courses and sometimes larger singles.) The solution to this was going back to a trusty large pony (even though I’m a tall adult) and starting over at crossrails for a while. Then moving the jumps up as they got boring, and then moving onto the less easy horses. It took about a year but I’m back where I was before.[/QUOTE]

@Green Light;7988242

I think first you need to figure out what you’re REALLY afraid of. Are you worried that a fall could result in a more severe injury than before due to your cancer? Are you concerned about time away from the horses having affected your riding ability? Getting to the root of your fear allows you to tackle it and work to get rid of it.

Yes those are BOTH fears plus it took this long to get healthy I don’t want to ever see the inside of a hospital again. To this end I got one of those inflating vests but I know the noise is LOUD when you fall. I could at least wear my eventing vest and see if that helps

[furlong47]

More protective gear will certainly not hurt, and may make you feel more confident. An air vest might be loud when deployed, but a quick loud noise is way better than an injury.

[HunterMolly]

I would also reccomend seeing a sports psychologist. I know of several riders who have become very afraid bc of falls, injuries, etc. and they have had great results gaining confidence by talking with a professional.

[Lusoluv]

Like the previous poster said, there is no single proven way to get over jumping fear. I have recently returned to jumping after decades long break. Plus I have a horse who has never jumped and it’s been so long since I have, I may as well have never jumped. I found a trainer who will not berate either of us, but be methodical and correct in our equitation and approach to poles and little jumps until we’re comfortable…maybe even bored.

There is nothing better than time and correct practice to get over fear. Make sure your trainer knows how to get your focus on what to do right vs. letting you focus on what might go wrong. When my mind runs wild with “what-ifs”, all I can do is direct that to more constructive thinking! Good luck!

[woodrwo]

All of the above. And get a “sissy strap”. I dealt with fear for a couple of years and that strap helped me enormously. Whenever you are in a bad spot grabbing it is like putting on a seat belt. And, psychologically, it helps as you always know it is there.
I am now Eventing BN. Never thought I would get there.

[Wonders12]

I don’t have any particular reason to be afraid, I’ve just ridden too many bad horses with too little good instruction. But I tried my new horse the day before leaving for a 3 week vacation, which meant she got 3 weeks off before I returned. She was perfect when I tried her.

I come home 10lbs heavier and completely out of shape, to my new perfect pony who hasn’t been ridden in 3 weeks, moved from rough board to stall board, a new barn, and 5 degree weather. She jigged and snaked her head and balked and bucked. Never with purpose and never enough to really unseat me, but enough to really rattle me. We did these completely unproductive mini-rides for 3 rides.

So I called my trainer. Told him we needed a lesson. Lesson went great. Why? He knows I can out ride her stupid stuff, and so he won’t let me quit. Then, instead of every time she pulls something stupid, it lowers my confidence, now every time she pulls something stupid, it increases my confidence. Now I (usually) get mad and ride her through it instead of curling up into a ball and getting anxious. It still gets my heart rate up and butterflies in my stomach, but I don’t have the urge to jump off immediately.

So my suggestion would be talk to your trainer. Maybe you only ride the new horse in lessons for a while and get a good teenager or trainer on her in between that.

If the fear is more than you and your trainer can handle, do consider seeing a sports psychologist. If that doesn’t work, consider selling or leasing your mare. As a BM, I have seen more people afraid of riding their horses than I can count. Life is too short, and horses are too expensive to not enjoy yourself. There’s no shame in saying, “we’re not a good fit right now.”

[luvdogz72]

it’s like you said - you’re afraid because you don’t know what to expect. You’re comfortable with your familiar horse and not sure about your newish horse.

I remember watching my husband go over a set of ground poles for the first time. He was in a western saddle and he held the horn!! LOL! Hey, he didn’t know what to expect!!

[drkarins]

I was one of those brave, pretty close to crazy, riders as a youngster and into my 20’s. Then I went to medical school and did a residency, no time or money so no riding. I also saw some horrific accidents involving horses and riders, sure gets your attention when it’s up close like that.

Returned to riding after a 6 year break, jumped for the first year and then just did.not.want.to.anymore. Didn’t help that the trainer I was stuck with (fell in love with the horse I was leasing, couldn’t move her) was a total yahoo jerk who would call me “old lady” when I would get nervous about the height of a jump.

So I stopped jumping. Sure, we do the occasional cavaletti etc. But you know what? I am totally okay with it. I love doing poles and as my mare ages, it’s better for her to not be jumping high. We ended up buying her, leaving yahoo trainer’s, buying our own place and a whole load of fun things along this journey called life.

My point being, you don’t HAVE to jump. Maybe just get back to that basic, pure enjoyment of riding whether it be on the trails, or flatting or whatnot. And then just see where that takes you…

Feel free to PM if you’d like to talk more. Just want you to know you are not alone!

[appyrunner]

I can’t say strongly enough - lease/borrow/buy a horse that you feel safe on and pay the money for good instructor/trainer. That horse may not be the big flashy mover or jumper that you see at the shows or secretly dream about. Doesn’t matter. Find a horse that feels like a big sofa. The one that when the snow slides off the arena roof, or the dogs dash through the arena doesn’t twitch. They are out there. I found mine – big AQHA. Heart of gold. Then I found a young trainer starting out that pushes me but never too far. My circle of what I was comfortable doing had shrunk down to almost nothing due to badly behaved prior horse and lack of consistent quality instruction. Get the right horse and the right trainer and you’ll be surprised how far you can come back. I thought I’d never ride again like I am now. You can do it too. Be easy on yourself.

[M_O_Connor]

What appyrunner says, x 100.

If what you are doing sets off the alarm bells, listen to them, and do something different.

This doesn’t mean wearing a safety vest as you continue to ride the horse that makes you nervous.

It means eliminating whatever risk you can by finding the safest, kindest, most tolerant horse you can to start back with, and working with a trainer who understands your trepidation and has the experience and patience to work through it with you. This will likely be a beginner teacher, even if you were an accomplished rider prior to your illness. It will mean riding in a ring, maybe even on a longe line. Maybe even on a lead line. Whatever it takes for you to relax, regain some muscle memory, and redevelop your core strength.

Once you have a few good, safe rides under your belt, you’ll begin to feel like you belong in the saddle again. And then you will be well on your way to full recovery.

[WSS2012]

A while back I experienced crippling anxiety. In my early 20’s I had been the rider to ride some quite difficult horses, after a few injuries and some not so positive experienced things changed. It started with nerves on new horses, then I literally got to the point that I would start shaking just standing on the mounting block even with a horse I knew well. I was fortunate to have re-connected with an old friend/trainer that has been studying some Natural Horsemanship methods and specializing her work on rehabbing difficult horses. She had me go back to focusing on ground work and learning to better read the horses energy and refining my feel, then worked up to riding. I also went back to my PT exercises and worked on my strength and balance. I really found a new path and have far exceeded my expectations of myself and my horses, in all types of tack.

I also have attended clinics with Greg Eliel. He is really good at helping riders and horses through anxiety by giving you tools to assess and fix braces before they become problems. It looks like your in CA, and I believe he clinics in CA a bunch. I wish you luck in your journey, anxiety is not a fun place.

[Synthesis]

[QUOTE=Lusoluv;7988360]
Like the previous poster said, there is no single proven way to get over jumping fear. I have recently returned to jumping after decades long break. Plus I have a horse who has never jumped and it’s been so long since I have, I may as well have never jumped. I found a trainer who will not berate either of us, but be methodical and correct in our equitation and approach to poles and little jumps until we’re comfortable…maybe even bored.

There is nothing better than time and correct practice to get over fear. Make sure your trainer knows how to get your focus on what to do right vs. letting you focus on what might go wrong. When my mind runs wild with “what-ifs”, all I can do is direct that to more constructive thinking! Good luck![/QUOTE]

THIS.
I stopped jumping years ago due to overwhelming anxiety. I’ve ended up teaching a number of anxious riders simply because I ‘get’ where they are coming from.

Anxiety and fear don’t have to be rational, and can’t simply be logic’d away. The best solution I’ve seen is slow steady desensitization. Work at the comfort level until bored, increase until interesting but not frightening then practice until bored. Regarding your newish horse, do what you feel safe doing and have others work on the rest for you. Get on, sit and use her as a sofa until that is no big deal. Once that is easy, walk around a 20 m circle etc. You need to build up a huge reserve of confidence to counteract the fear. You already have the reserve with the old horse

Example: I have a young, and not particularly brave, student who had a hard fall a bit over a year ago. She had a concussion, several weeks off and a slow start back with lots of fear. She decided she didn’t want to jump and we worked on flatwork, transitions/pace/etc. for nearly the entire year. Around December SHE started asking if we could add in some poles or tiny (like 6 inch high) crossrails, which I did happily. This weekend she chose to add in a small (1 foot) vertical and was having a great time. I’ll keep her at this level until she starts asking for more.

Do what makes you feel safe, first and foremost, and work from there.

[BITSA]

Come join the adult re-riders group. Many of us have dealt with anxiety and fear (me being one). Two of us see (over the phone) a sports psychologist to help with it. You need some good steps to affirmatively help you through. We can tell you what we’ve learned. Fell free to PM me.