Recently I’ve been getting a little frustrated with my mare. She is super good but she can be unpredictable and she isn’t the most reliable at shows (we may be winning, racing around the ring, or may not even go in the ring). I feel guilty about thinking about selling her to get a new horse because I love her so much, but I also really would like to be more consistent in being competitive. She is 11 this year and although I always believe more training/hard work will improve any situation, I feel like I also need to be realistic in the fact that her show anxieties may never improve. Thoughts?
Have you talked to your trainer? What’s her routine at the show ie does your trainer take her in a class? Are you the sole rider? I am curious if she shows the same behavior with your trainer.
Age wise, she is at a good age to sell if that is what you decide to do. It is much easier to sell an 11 year old versus a 14 year old.
I would write down or contemplate your goals. Have a discussion with your trainer, someone you trust, or you could expand your thoughts here—are her underlying behaviors historical (ie part of who she is)? Are these learned behaviors based on something the rider is/is not doing? What are your priorities in the next 1-5 years? Can you accomplish these goals with this mare, or can she help you work towards these goals? If not, or you are unsure, how do you feel about selling the horse to find one who may be ready to help you meet those goals versus holding on to her and working through these quirks? There is no wrong answer, but something to think about. Food for thought—if you feel that these quirks are impacting your confidence, is a safety concern with you as the rider, or you feel that you are not the right rider to ride her through these behaviors (we all have limits—there is nothing wrong in recognizing them), then I would consider selling.
With that being said, think about her sale value and the current market. Just another layer to add, but the market is tough for buyers. Would you be able to find something factoring in the horse’s sale price and your budget that meets your needs?
Basically, I don’t think there is a straightforward answer to selling vs keeping, but I hope this food for thought is helpful!
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how often is the mare taken to shows?
We have had both horses that spent most of their careers in the show rings, being transported to and from shows from an early age, they spent a lot of time being in a different place…they were comfortable with that life style
Others we have had that spent most of their life in our backyard while being nice horses never really liked the “going to a show” deal. They were not bad, they just never settled.
An eleven year old, I suspect is not going to suddenly change to into the desired mount of your dreams. Maybe rather than subjecting her to a traditional training regiment (which she may know by heart now) that you spend time taking her places. This worked for one horse we had.
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Whenever I’ve started showing a horse, the first few times I take them and do very little. Maybe I hand graze or hack them around the venue. I work up to taking them in a low key class. I want them to be relaxed and not anticipating anything too exciting. Perhaps you could try that and maybe also have your trainer ride her at a show.
A friend of mine thought about buying a new horse this spring. She looked at what is currently on the market and decided to stick with her current mare. Prices are very high and she likes her mare but, like you, wants to change some of her behaviors.
There’s nothing wrong with selling a horse that doesn’t do what you want to do, but this is a hard time to find a nice horse that’s reasonably priced. The few that I saw and pointed her toward, basically had sold instantly.
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I hear you. So often, the horse we buy does not jive with the goals we have. It then becomes a simple choice:
What’s more important to me – my riding goals, or this particular horse?
Unfortunately, nobody can answer that but you. Picture yourself in a year with this same horse. Will you still be happy riding her, even if her show anxiety persists? Does she give you the grins at home? Could you be happy not showing?
In my situation, I also have some struggles with my greenish horse. But he is generally safe and sweet and willing. I have been around long enough to know that this isn’t easy to find. So, despite our challenges, I stick with him.
I want to add to the great post above that there is no wrong answer here. Do not let someone tell you that you are wrong for whatever feels like the right answer to you and your world.
Some people totally love showing and that is why they ride, because they love showing. Having a horse that gives them anxiety at shows is not a good fit for them (or the horse).
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The question here might also be “am I more attached to this program or this horse?”. If the horse is inconsistent and not improving, that is generally a preparation or program issue and might benefit from moving to another trainer. If you adore your barn or it is the only one in your area that you can see yourself riding with then it may be better to change horses and find one that suits your program better.
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See the “Tell me about the time you wanted to hang it up thread”! Obviously there will be challenges we have to learn to push through over time, but at the end of the day we (most of us) do this for fun and because we love it. There is nothing wrong with seeking out the horse/barn/trainer/etc that brings you joy.
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It’s ok to sell a horse because you don’t enjoy riding him/her. Not every horse is a good fit for every rider. I’d start with a discussion with your trainer about your goals, and your concerns with how this horse meeting/not meeting those. Go in with an open mind, and ask trainer what it would realistically take for the two of you to meet your goals. Sometimes there are medical needs that need to be addressed, sometimes the horse changes its tune with a period of full time training, and sometimes personalities don’t match and its best to start cutting ties mentally and allowing trainer to prepare the horse for sale.
Look at it this way, at 11 she is still in a fairly desirable age group for most buyers. Another 18 months or so, she will pass into early teens becoming less desirable for a number of good reasons, including insurance premiums and the increasing effects of age, wear and tear. This is often offset by schoolmaster/babysitter qualities buyers crave. Does not sound like she falls into the packer category so the older she gets, the shallower the buyer pool gets.
Should you choose to keep her, are you willing to do so for 12-15 years? Do you have a place to retire her too? You need to really think hard about this, would selling her now actually be a better choice for HER? Give her more options for her future? She may well do better with somebody else somewhere else.
Remember the greatest gift we give them are skills that make them desirable to others, if they aren’t, what happens to them if you loose your job, get sick with a debilitating and expensive condition, get hurt in a car accident, die? Somebody really want them or is it the auction pen? Think about the what ifs here.
Finally, you “ love” her? Well, she does not feel that way about you, shes not able to understand those concepts and return what you emotionally invest in her, just react. And she does not sound happy where she is, she might be much happier elsewhere.
For those who must board and only afford one horse at a time, this is a huge consideration and leads to difficult decisions. But its part of owning and boarding out and beats the alternative if just not having a horse.
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There’s no shame in finding a horse a different home because their preferences and your goals don’t line up. Sometimes your purpose in their life is to help find them their ideal career and home. And that’s okay. And it’s also totally fine with changing your goals to meet their happy place. You just have to weigh what you want more - that specific horse or your specific goals.
I have a good friend who had the most amazing horse. He checked every single box except jumping wasn’t has jam. He’d jump things because he was such a good soul, but he really didn’t love his job. He really, really loved flat work. He could have stayed a hunter but he was never going to be comfortable jumping the fences Friend wanted to jump. She thought really hard about switching her path to dressage so she could keep him, but in the end, she loves to jump and he does not. So she found him a new home and he’s loving life as a dressage horse. And she has a new horse who likes to jump stuff. Does she miss him? Yep. But everyone is happier now.
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Have you ever considered taking her to a schooling show with a safe amount of medication to stay calm and focused? It may get the horse get used to showing, I knew a guy with driving horses who did this and slowly tapered them off and they stayed settled,
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IMO, there are many ways to get a horse relaxed and comfortable off property that don’t involve riding a sedated horse.
OP, have you ridden this horse in the same program this whole time? If so, does your trainer have any other horses in the barn that had similar problems and then improved?
Many trainers have a particular type of horse that they understand better than others. I finally found a trainer late in my mare’s career (mid teens) who understood what she needed. Following his program, we went from being “that crazy horse” to qualifying for an inter-regional jumper equitation final, albeit maintaining a bit of personality while doing it.
Sometimes a different training program can make a world of difference.
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