Feeling kind of stuck as an adult re-rider

[173north]

You seem like a perfectly normal re-rider! The best thing you can do is get more time in the saddle, especially unstructured time. Nothing improves your seat and your confidence - and stop you over-thinking - than a brisk hack out alone!

If you can’t swing that (maybe through a half-lease?) being as fit as possible, especially in your core, will go very far toward helping you ride your best once or twice a week. Even if I’m only riding once a week, I am SO much more effective if also going to yoga 2 or 3 times a week.

[BayTB]

Thank you all for the wonderful responses!

I agree it’s time for me to talk to my trainer and express my feelings. I also think it would be a good idea to look into lease options. I only know of one horse that my trainer is actively advertising for lease. He wouldn’t be a good match for me as he is very hot and reactive, and I definitely don’t think that’s what I need at the moment. But it would be worth asking if she has any others that she would be willing to lease out or if she knows of anything.

It’s comforting to know I’m not alone and that there may be hope for me :lol:

[Alex1254]

Hi! I am also a long-time lurker and have never mustered the courage to post, but your story encourages me because I am in a very similar boat.

I rode consistently age 10 - 24, owned my own pony and horse through those years, and was very confident in my riding skills back then. I took a 6 year hiatus initially because I was getting married, moving states, buying a house, etc. Life got in the way. During that time period I sustained chronic injuries to both of my knees, had multiple surgeries, and still have trouble today, in addition to some foot and ankle pain.

I started back recently and have felt all of the things you are feeling. I can’t coordinate my body as well as I used to, and I don’t have the confidence in myself that I once did. I, too, find myself comparing to other riders, younger and older, who seem so much better than me. It actually makes me clam up and ride even more poorly when I am noticing other people riding around so much better.

In addition, dealing with the knee and ankle issues has made things exponentially harder. But I love it, I’m determined, and reading in the “riders with health issues” section on this forum has given me a lot of courage and hope.

I don’t have much more to add to what everyone has said except you are not alone and I felt this post deeply! It is helpful to get more time in the saddle, but I guess just taking things slow and as your body allows is also good. I am still anxiously waiting for the day that I can ride and not have my inner thighs feel super sore the next day!

[LawsofMurph]

Heck, I’ve had my horse for 14 years and I still suck. I had regular lessons in college but it’s been 6 years since and I’m back ion a lesson program. And in Dressage!

I have confidence and anxiety issues that hold me back, but do you know what I discovered??

That’s okay!

My guy doesn’t know I suck and, even though my first show has been cancelled for now, I know it will just be fun to get out there and do something for the first time in our lives together. I can, in general, ride First Level at home. But I am choosing to start with Intro to build me up. There’s no shame in it!

It took me a long time to realize that.

[Bluey]

Even professionals in the horse world have those realizations.
Life brings it’s own limits to everyone, at different times, different ones too.

As so many have stated, it is OK.

The beauty of horses is, there is room for everyone, at any level.
We can all be around horses with a smile in our faces.
We can do the best we can, measuring against ourselves only.

Being competitive and doing well in competitions with horses is a whole different animal.
There you may also compete to your personal best and/or try to be better than others.
That is fine for many, but not the only way to enjoy horses in our lives.

Our attitude makes our own happiness.
Find ways to do so with horses also.
If you are working with a trainer, find one that accepts your goals, whatever those may be.
Good trainers do that well.