Absolutely. It could have happened to me, if I hadn’t lived on the edge of a suburb where it was expected in my social/academic group to go to college. So, horses, tack, everything was sold and I went away to school. After grad school and a while in a good professional job, I bought me a horse. Should have waited until I had a lot more in the bank, though; instead of buying a “fixer-upper” that I ended up losing anyway, after a whole bunch of vet bills.
Police helicopters, the mob, murderers, homeless invasions, all where she can keep farm animals? She is 18-22 and moving for college but affords to keep four horses on a farm where she lives alone, including a rescue, and yet still has thousands in saving (only after vet visits), it is all just ABSOLUTELY impossible to believe.
It’s possible some of the details are fudged. But there are a lot of skeezy semi rural poverty pockets where someone will rent you a crap house on 5 acres and the rest of the neighborhood is cooking meth on their own rented properties. My city has outgrown the availability of low rent abandoned acreage but it absolutely did exist here 40 years ago. Robert Pickton was chugging along murdering women for a good 40 years around the corner from a number of lower end horse barns. Back then we didn’t have meth or crack or hydroponic marijuana but we still had a huge local marijuana industry, we were the heroin entrepot for North America, and prostitution was visible and rampant, and most of the gangsters were still creepy white dude bikers.
From my observation IRL and watching “driving through” videos, there are still a lot of towns in the US with declining agriculture and property values where you could find a really cheap rental wedged up next to a meth dealer. Indeed, there have been quite a few OMG WWYD posts from adult COTH members who find themselves living next to Neighbors From Hell, including paranoid violent druggie etc. It’s a real risk of property ownership and affordable land might be affordable because it’s in a rural slum.
When Mr LS and I were shopping, we would do drive byes before ever calling the realtor. Neighbors are everything and there are some sketch neighbors out there.
Some?? C’mon. I am a grown ass adult making six figures by working my ass off and can only just afford my horse and farm lifestyle by myself. Two emergency vet bills that were both under $1k in the last month has me running numbers so I can send my young horse to be started in the fall still, but a baby adult person in some make-believe poor rural (with a large police force, often not the same) area can afford two serious injuries including casting and follow ups and boarding horses and whatever she needs to keep her own place running and camera purchases and feeding up a starved rescue and making plans to attend college? When if she truly lives in this rural poor area where one single young adult person can live with horses also doesn’t exist in the same economic area where there is a job that pays more than pennies?
Hence my guess she’s been given living space at a family property and can’t afford to move. And may be getting money from her parents who would prefer to tie her down locally rather than let her spread her wings.
Anyhow until and if OP returns to say more, we really won’t know the details.
I know that 40 years ago, you could rent rundown houses on holding property acreage for similar costs to same size living space in the city, because these places were lonely, unkempt, and unsafe.
Thank you, but it was a necessary lesson. I come from a poor family and never had a whole lot myself, so look for bargains when they aren’t there. Plus, my snob of a mother gave me a taste for finer things, and I’ve been known to pick quality over durability/practicality, like with that poor mare. She did seem happy with me, we had a lot of fun together, and I did try.
From the original post it doesn’t sound like this story is taking place out in a rural area as many are Assuming. She posted "we live across from a park with a very high homeless population and in an area known for drug deals, theft, vandalism, and organized crime so it is very common to be stolen from " and " The neighbors were upset and told me to remove the cameras and fencing, and tried to get the city involved ". Neither of these statements sounds like a rural area.
I’m with The Jenners and don’t believe the story. New poster and school’s out for summer too much time on someone’s hands
The property is owned by family friends who own a business nearby that I keep an eye on so I don’t have to pay rent. They of course want me to stay, but are more supportive of my leaving for safety reasons. My mom helped me move here/ talked to her friends about the situation, but my dad didn’t think it was the best idea for me to be alone. I think she feels that if I move out, she’s wasted a favor from a friend and fruther proved that my dad is more trustworthy. I was very lucky that during and directly after highschool, I went to a community college where he rented my books for me, helped me make my resume and apply for jobs so I was able to save my own money. My mom and I have never had a good relationship, so I think it peeves her that she has ridden her entire life, and my dad and I have still bonded over my horses more than her and I have. I also feel like it was her bragging right to be able to say that she kept me from having to pay any rent as a toung adult, while my father only helped pay for the books and horses, which are less expensive. I just can’t appreciate or understand her willingness to use my safety and my horses to prove a point, albeit likely subconsciously. Escepially considering that she also lived here briefly, and didn’t like the neighbors, but didn’t think it was a big deal. It is an unfortunate dynamic, but it is what it is.
This puts things in a lot more perspective for me. My mom has always lived in sketchy, dangerous areas, so I presume she must be used to it, and thinks I am just doing it wrong. But she got married when she was 20 and lived with her parents before that, so she has literally never lived anywhere without having someone with her for protection. As far as her advice, really my options were to stay at home, in the dorms, or to move out. I asked my dad, whom I trust, and he said I should ask her, as she had friends near my college who knew the area and could advise me on what the best option would be. I spoke to her, and she spoke to them and came up with the idea of me staying at a house her friends owned near their business, so I would keep an eye on it and have no rent. It seemed like a good deal, and because I knew everyone, I agreed. My father still financially supports me, but my mom does not, so it makes sense that this is just a way for her to control me and keep me near her (she is only a few hours away now).
I really do not want to end up in a ditch somewhere and it just isn’t worth it to worry about it in theory anymore, so I am looking at other places right now. My dad said he will help me with board for the time being, which should ease the neighbors a bit until I’m fully out.
The issue is bigger than just the living situation. You are at the stage of making the jump from community college to university to career. It also sounds like your family is more part of this community and can navigate it, and thinks you are the problem, not the neighbors.
This is the stage in life where you need to weigh up your options and travel light in order to get where you need and want to be
It’s wonderful to have family support and a free place to live, but not when it’s being used by your family to control where you go and who you become. Many parents resent their children moving beyond the family or community.
I think you need to get out of this dynamic with your mother. That means rehoming your horses, living in a safe little space somewhere, focusing on university and taking up all career opportunities.
Right now you are a pawn in your parents troubled or former marriage, and you can’t win. You can’t change your parents because they are fighting with each other through you. None of this is your fault.
You need to get right out of being so dependent on them, you need to be able to travel light and support yourself. Right now you are still in a teenage relationship with them and that will never end until you make the break. Community college can feel more like a continuation of high school but university requires some serious personal reinvention.
I realize it’s more common now than when I was young for children to stay totally dependent on their parents for much longer, but it only works when your parents are kind, sane, and have your best interests at heart.
Many parents are not kind or sane, and resent their children moving on in life. As long as you stay dependent on her, your mother will be able to call the shots for her own ends.
You can’t change her. You are lucky you have support from your father too.
My vote is for the dorms. It will help greatly with your transition away from your parents, give you a better college experience with more options, activities, and learning experiences, and expose you to other young people so you can learn from their lives, experiences, and influences, not just your own.