Let me suggest some different, broad strategies.
- Worry less about picking a distance and just how far out you can see that. Rather, your job is to pick a Rhythm and a Track and be ready to leave the ground whenever the fence comes up. So your mantra is “Rhythm and Track,” and that’s it. I find it helpful to learn to pick the right canter and count strides all the way around, not the count down to the fence. If you teach yourself that your mental job is to be that metronome and feel the engagement of the hind end, plus look up and around so that you pick the right path to a fence, you’ll find that the distance appears to you, you will know how that distance is going to be, (long, deep, whatever) you won’t care so much.
For your specific problem-- getting this forward horse willing to wait and jump from that deeper spot that your eventing pro wanted. Consider this proposition: If you want that spot, your job is to manufacture the canter that will yield it. And you can do that way back from the fence. Heck, it’s not even about the fence! Again, the trick to riding to a deep spot is to see it way back and adjust your upper body then (and first), perhaps adding a waiting hand and your voice (second), and then doing as little as possible when you get to the fence. There, you are already “waiting” with your body and the fence “comes up to you.” So this is the opposite of micro-managing to the base of the fence. It’s also different from riding backward-- thinking most about your hand and leaving your leg an after thought.
When I jump, I try to make my hand The Very Last Aid I pick up. That’s a mantra for me. And I bring that to dressage, too. If I want a little more bounce in my canter, I see how much I can get done by bringing my shoulders and upper body back a bit, making a conscious effort to leave my elbows out there. If I don’t get enough of a response in that first stride, then I add a half-halting hand to my shoulders and posture. It’s awesome. Pretty soon, I don’t need to add hand. The horse knew what was coming and rocked back on his own.
- Do use the tools of the best American hunter trainers-- lots of poles. The idea is that the horse needs to find his own way to the fence. What he needs, then, is the same practice with the optical part of finding a distance that you do. jumping with a “cheat rail” (one pole about 9’ out from the groundline of any vertical up to 3’) will help both of you “ride less” to the base of the fence. Here, you just ride to the pole and let the horse do the rest. It’s very good mental practice at the art of giving a minimalist ride to a fence. It’s easy for us because getting a distance to a mere pole on the ground is so low-stakes.
A landing pole can help for a horse who wants to get too forward over little fences. Same for a pole in the middle of a line. I had a good hunter trainer who used to put a single canter pole in a course. If you found yourself getting a bit too much lick and the horse too strong, you simply inserted that pole as your next fence and found a distance to that. When you do that, you end up bringing the canter back to something more reasonable and more collected (still with good momentum from the hind end, but a little bouncier). This is a good mid-course reminder for both horse and rider. The idea is that not every fence or course should build to a hand gallop. Rather, it’s a low mileage way of having a rider (especially) learn to bring a canter back and keep their eye tuned to seeing a different kind of distance, mid-course.
2a. The American hunter trainer also values a rideable horse on course. Besides using poles, there can be lost of stopping in a straight line after a fence or line of fences if the horse gets strong. The key is just to get the stop done. Ride no harder than it takes to get the job done. Use the rail to help you, especially at first. But it should be straight. Stand there long enough for you and the horse to exhale. Walk off on a long rein, even for a moment. You need to halt long enough for the horse to change his mind. Don’t rush it; it’s about what’s between the horse’s ears, not his body or speed.
Here, you are teaching the horse that the adrenaline-producing effort of jumping does not mean he keeps that going. Rather, you jump and then stop and think. This is the beginning of the way we would like to land and re-balance around the turn. Teach the horse that after a jump or line, he might be asked to stop… in which case he’ll start to bring his own mind’s speed down a bit and let you rebalance without that ride becoming a fight.
2b. It’s legitimately hard to see distances on a horse who is not straight. And by this, I mean (especially) that his hind legs are in line with his front legs, and he doesn’t lean into turns or bulge out in a way you can’t control, but let slide as a minor problem during your jumping school. IMO, what we really need is our eye and our body to line up with where the hind legs are on the way to the fence. That’s why straightness and impulsion let you feel confident in seeing a distance from way, way back.
Your good dressage training will help you here. I’d suggest keeping the feel and high standards from your dressage work, but practice producing that straightness and impulsion with that tactful ride that is always “less and less” so long as you get the same quality canter and adjustability from your horse. You can work on this one day over even just a pole on the ground!
At the fences, don’t ignore straightness. If he’s jumping left or right, slow down and use some poles to correct that. it wil make riding the lines a lot easier.
Of course, I’d wish you a good ground person as well. Using poles well to train a horse takes two people!
Good luck and I hope this pays off for you. It’s nice to see someone who wants to do good flat work and give a horse the tactful ride over fences. I think horses like this ride in an adrenaline-producing activity, and I think it ultimately makes them safer for us.