Forever an amatuer

[Molly_Micvee]

Has anyone here ever felt stuck in their training of their horse?

              I , myself have worked very hard on my Hanovarian mare, in which I brought up and trained myself. I have kept diligent in taking her to lessons so it isnt that I have been isolated with her.  I read books, I watch videos. I live and breath Dressage in the front and back of my mind at all times.  

         The thing is, I have made vast improvements just in the last year but sometimes it gets too easy to lose sight of this. I guess I have been feeling this way because I just came back from a lesson from a very good teacher. I arrived feeling that at last I was finally beginning to move up in the so called ranks of levels,  only to end the lesson feeling as if I had gotten no where once again.  I was angry, not so much at the instructor but at the situation. I felt I was looking better then I ever have and nothing about this was mentioned. Granted this teacher sees a lot of students every week and I only go now once a month so Im sure I blended in just like the next rider to a certain respect. 

            My issue here is that sometimes I cant help but to feel that there is this hidden conspiracy which acts to keep the average Joe rider like me right where I am. Is there a bias towards riders like me?  I'm just questioning this for the sake of it.  I own a little used trailer that is rusting on it's top and has got God only know how many coats of white spray paint going on ,on it's sides, the matching is supreme if I dont say so myself. I barely make the payment to the USEF every year,  but I do. I watch the Dressage on line site until my eyes fall out. I in to it. Im single so what else is there. Dressage...    and more of it.  I work hard, Im a teacher, I come home tierd many times, but I still push myself out there to get on that horse.  And now it's winter , the field is flooded, my dressage arena is wet,  the arena I sweat buckets over in preparing until I have it just right with Mr. Shovel and a hand plow.. Paid saved money to have it bull dozed to be flat. I had it suveyed,  and I pursued more  and more endeavors I did myself to bring about this stupid dream.    Ok, it's not stupid.  

              Ok, I think I made my point.  I'm just a little person with a big person trapped in my equestrian body and I can't get out and something in me is mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!  Can anyone relate? 

         I cant aford to built an in door arena on my property, let alone a proper barn I have all ready drawn out to scale.  I can't aford a decent horse trailer, one that has the look! You know what I mean, ya all. I work on a teacher's salary.    Who are these people who are competing at 4th level, going off to different regional events?  Is it just an illusion where they are in comparison to where we 1st and 2nd levelers are, meaning can we be closer to that in a heart beat if we only knew the magic pass word?  Is that word money? Is that word intimidation? Is that word narcissistic bullying? Is that word: the great american know who?  not know how? 

 I feel I lay myself out here on this forum today as the great sacrificial dressage amatuer in hopes of finding answers, not only for myself but for everyone else here who can understand and relate to where I'm coming from.  if, not you can find me in the bar n on the back of a cartoon coaster mare.       what ever.       Thanks for listening

[SillyHorse]

“I cant aford to built an in door arena on my property, let alone a proper barn I have all ready drawn out to scale. I can’t aford a decent horse trailer, one that has the look! You know what I mean, ya all. I work on a teacher’s salary. Who are these people who are competing at 4th level, going off to different regional events? Is it just an illusion where they are in comparison to where we 1st and 2nd levelers are, meaning can we be closer to that in a heart beat if we only knew the magic pass word? Is that word money? Is that word intimidation? Is that word narcissistic bullying? Is that word: the great american know who? not know how?”

It really can boil down to the issue of money. Those who are fortunate to have enough money that they don’t have to spend the day working and drag themselves to the barn after work, who can take several lessons (or more) a week, trailer their horses to clinics, et., definitely have an advantage oover those of us who aren’t as fortunate. All else being equal, the access to money makes a difference.

[fizzyfuzzybuzzy]

Does me staying I understand mean a lot to you? I am not even as far as you are. I have no farm, no horse of my own, but have worked for some of the biggest names in the industry (Lendon Grey being one of them). I am right now lucky enough to be riding a horse I would never be able to afford, because I work my butt off as a vet tech at night and work at the barn during the day. I, too, am single and have very little else to express myself through. So, I work my butt off, I ride as many horses as I can, get the best instruction that I can, and hope the stars align and all the pieces fall into place for me. Luckily, you can ride horses well into the later years of your life, and have plenty of time to make your mark on the world!!

[May_the_FORCE_bwu]

I get it…you have to realize that you are not alone and that MANY people are in your same boat…you must never look at the glass half empty - you must look at all the great things you have already…a really nice horse, access to a trainer, a truck / trailer…passion/dedication…you have a lot more going for you than you think…yes money DOES HELP - but the privelege of owning a horse is even better than all the money in the world…I rescued my horse, he lives on rough board, I can only lesson once a week because I am a working mother and that’s all I can afford… and after 6 years got my bronze medal & bronze freestyle bar…did I beat those really nice horses? no…but to compete in the same classes with some top professionals was pretty cool - as yes - got my butt kicked - but so what…my trainer has told me time and time again that do the best you can with what you have, keep expectations realistic and you will be surprised with what happens… -on my budget I far exceeded my dreams…and you can too…

[ridingagain]

Yeah, I can totally relate - I’m a teacher, too, divorced, and started riding again after a 25 year hiatus. Although I live and breathe horses now, just like I did as a kid, it is really frustrating to not have the money to do what I want. I’m stuck sharing a lease on a young, green, very silly OTTB - and even tho I’m a good rider, I feel like I’m in survival mode every time I’m on her. ( not enjoying the prospect of being thrown since I’m pushing 50, either!) Would love to have a nice calm horse to show, event, trail, maybe foxhunt…just can’t afford it. I take lessons once a week, but don’t feel like I’m making much progress. I’ve been trying to grin and bear it and be grateful for what I can do and the comraderie of my barn friends - who let me exercise their horses when they’re out of town. Just wanted you to know that I feel your pain. Suggestions, anyone?

[tempichange]

Occasionally, I’m right there with you.

I am soon to be 26. I am ambitious, and serious.

I made the decision a long time ago that I wanted to be an upper level rider and riding at training level won’t get me there. I also decided I wanted to be an amateur, not an professional rider. I wanted to have this remain fun and not become a burden.

I am an amateur on a limited budget, but we are aiming late this year to FEI. I’ve started, and broke this one myself. I bred my young guy out of a mare who I got for free and bought the breeding at a charity auction. I worked off his costs through a bunch of different avenues.

I work one job, but do many side jobs to make sure that the bills are paid. I am going back to school to get into special education. I ride 6 days a week unless it’s 29 and below.

I bought my new horse trailer on a loan and was thankful to get it. My parents lent me money to buy a used truck to replace the old one that died. I’m saving up for a new saddle and an ET.

I used to show frequently, but stopped (only do two per year- if that) because I learned about opportunity cost.

If my funds go towards competing, where do the educational dollars come from?

So I stopped showing for seasons at a time. When I did show, I go to one class per day, and became particular about the test and footing. I slept in the horse trailer.

I have lessons every week, and I sacrifice vacation time to get to train as a working student with a very kind judge.

I organize my own clinics so I get the chance to ride with the big name trainers. I’m also very, politically active. I abuse every contact. You have to be opportunistic.

While I have an indoor, I’m one of the only dressage riders in my facility. I ride with reiners. I do my own chores and work (everything from mucking to ordering feed). In about three years we’re (myself, my significant other and family) looking to make the investment to a facility.

I am lucky and blessed at the same time.

I’ve had people help (and hinder) along the way. I found that the ones that want to hinder aren’t worth the time or effort. The ones who want to help, will find ways to lift you up. I choose not to focus on what I don’t have (and trust me it’s easy), but where I want to go.

They say if there is a will there is a way. However the way isn’t easy, and you have to work for it.

Good luck.

[SillyHorse]

Tempichange, you are an inspiration! I have no doubt you will find your way.

[Leena]

Dressage is really tough on ego…I feel you !

You can get there, even in your situation. But you need a lot of determination and no pity for you.

I remember posting a video here 3 years ago and got a real good kick in my hass. It was really positive even if when I looked at the comments, I would have just hidden under the carpet…

I really wore my pants that day and since…There is times when I see no changes and just bang my head until I find and it is always my riding, the way I feel the horse, my own tension.

If I did it, you can do it !

Makes yourself a plan and adress each weakness…soon or later you will find all the puzzle pieces !

Good luck !

[mickeydoodle]

I would point out that Hilda Gurney was a teacher on a very limited budget, limited time, a rusty horse trailer, a horse off the track, worked her ass off to get somewhere. She still works extremely hard, rides more than 10 horses a day, plus teaching lessons (horse lessons now, not classroom) I don’t think it is all money, nor mostly money, talent and hard work play a huge role.

Lots of the big professionals started out very poor, and only got where they are through very very hard work, not big sponsors with money.

A fancy trailer does not get you ribbons nor great riding.

[mbm]

well… i totally hear and feel ya… but honestly - arent we not doing this for the love of the sport?

if you arent happy why not? be honest. maybe you need to refocus ?

i used to say that we should work with what we have - but if the horse isnt happy and the rider isnt happy - what is the point?

find what makes you happy - and then it wont be so hard to handle the crappy trailer, the outdoor arena etc. it will all look fab and you will be proud.

said by the person that has finally given up and will be selling the horse of my dreams for something more “fun”

[cute_lil_fancy_pants]

A little honesty?

I think you are probably spending your time/money in the wrong places? If you want to get somewhere with your riding, don’t keep your horse on your property! Board at a barn that DOES have an indoor arena! You don’t need a truck and trailer if the trainer or other people at the barn you board at do. Save your time by having the boarding facility feed your horse and muck your stalls, that way you can spend your free time being a working student for a trainer if you can. Move in to a tiny-ass apartment and work less at your job so you can have more time being a working student for a trainer. That’s what I did, and that what the vast majority of people who are competing at the top have done. Many don’t have boat loads of money, or even their own horse, they just have decided to put their time into riding, that means being a working student when you can and giving all your resources to that.

[4wdNstraight]

I think what you are going through is normal. Everyone goes through training plateaus, even if they are loaded! I am by far the least wealthy at the barn I ride at, but I haven’t noticed that it helps those ladies riding!:winkgrin: They do own fabulous imported horses, can take 3 lessons a week and every clinic that comes to town, but they struggle just like the rest of us. I just broke through a plateau, but I feel that part of it had to do with an attitude change. I just quit measuring myself up against others, and started being happy for the little things. I realized that I am lucky to have horses, to be able to ride horses, and to be able to take part in such an amazing journey. I feel riding mirrors life, and sometimes when our lives are stagnant, then so goes the riding! My advice is to not dwell on what you don’t have or can’t do, but what you do have and can do! It is a lifelong process and will change before you know it! Enjoy!

[tempichange]

[QUOTE=SillyHorse;4685458]
Tempichange, you are an inspiration! I have no doubt you will find your way.[/QUOTE]

Thank you.

[Molly_Micvee]

Oh. I don’t expect anyone’s pity. Some of the replies to this post have been wonderful. Thank you all for being so kind. I too have a horse I saved from the track and she is a bit scary. I ride alone and have to be extra extra careful in everything I do.

           I'm sure there are plenty of  accomplished riders who have started with nothing who refused to give up. I'm certainly NOT ungrateful for what I do have now. Ive worked for it and have come to find that if you really want something you can draw it to you. I wanted a Passier Grand Gilbert so badly I could taste the leather in my mouth,  ok that's going to far,  but the fact is that I wanted one knowing how expensive they are, used and/or new.   I received some money for Christmas but it still wasnt a enough. To make a long story short I found my passier because I was determined and wouldnt let up on my search. I was OBSESSED!!!!! Set to earning more money on ebay and rearranging my budget for the  month.  I thought I would floor my instructor because I had one on my mount. How did I ever pull that one off? She was basically un effected even though this is the saddle she rides in and swears by.   I have to laugh. :) 

What is everyday for some riders is the world to me. I dont want to ever take for granted the blessing that come my way, ever. My point is that if there is a will there is a way and I knew when I wrote this post how my negative feelings can actually act against me,this is why I wrote it. They can be like a disease. If I keep telling myself I cant canter “off” the fore hand, then the fore hand it will all ways be. I will never teach my mare how to half pass. We will just wiggle around like a fish out of water for ever. Some times I think the only way she’s going to get this movement is for me to club her over the head with a 2 by 4. Im just kidding! and it’s true, it can be extra tough now with our economy the way it is.

Im getting older too, Im 48 and I dont want to fall off because my bones are not like they were when I was 14. I told a very experienced rider this and she looked at me like I was a prissy or something and had no clue what it was actually like to fall off a horse, due my inexperience or something?? I was kind of insulted, being treated like an amateur again.:(a hobbiest one at that. I know too well what it’s like to fall off. I rode in 3 day events,did Pony Club and fox hunted as a teenager for years, where flying over the horses head was all too common, if not that , then 4 foot copes going up hill then coming down on the horses neck hanging on for dear life! That’s enough to want that flask held by that old gent riding next to you, for sure! Of course I improved and got better and never allowed the same mis halfs to occur ever again as long as I lived.

So anyways,  I just had to get that out of my system because it bothered me,  my pride I guess.  My ego.  At any rate, thank you everyone for your replies. I'm feeling better and a lot more positive.  I live, I ride,  I am.       Sincerely, Molly

[ec412]

[QUOTE=Molly Micvee;4684660]
Has anyone here ever felt stuck in their training of their horse?

              I , myself have worked very hard on my Hanovarian mare, in which I brought up and trained myself. I have kept diligent in taking her to lessons so it isnt that I have been isolated with her.  I read books, I watch videos. I live and breath Dressage in the front and back of my mind at all times.  

         The thing is, I have made vast improvements just in the last year but sometimes it gets too easy to lose sight of this. I guess I have been feeling this way because I just came back from a lesson from a very good teacher. I arrived feeling that at last I was finally beginning to move up in the so called ranks of levels,  only to end the lesson feeling as if I had gotten no where once again.  I was angry, not so much at the instructor but at the situation. I felt I was looking better then I ever have and nothing about this was mentioned. Granted this teacher sees a lot of students every week and I only go now once a month so Im sure I blended in just like the next rider to a certain respect. 

            My issue here is that sometimes I cant help but to feel that there is this hidden conspiracy which acts to keep the average Joe rider like me right where I am. Is there a bias towards riders like me?  I'm just questioning this for the sake of it.  I own a little used trailer that is rusting on it's top and has got God only know how many coats of white spray paint going on ,on it's sides, the matching is supreme if I dont say so myself. I barely make the payment to the USEF every year,  but I do. I watch the Dressage on line site until my eyes fall out. I in to it. Im single so what else is there. Dressage...    and more of it.  I work hard, Im a teacher, I come home tierd many times, but I still push myself out there to get on that horse.  And now it's winter , the field is flooded, my dressage arena is wet,  the arena I sweat buckets over in preparing until I have it just right with Mr. Shovel and a hand plow.. Paid saved money to have it bull dozed to be flat. I had it suveyed,  and I pursued more  and more endeavors I did myself to bring about this stupid dream.    Ok, it's not stupid.  

              Ok, I think I made my point.  I'm just a little person with a big person trapped in my equestrian body and I can't get out and something in me is mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!  Can anyone relate? 

         I cant aford to built an in door arena on my property, let alone a proper barn I have all ready drawn out to scale.  I can't aford a decent horse trailer, one that has the look! You know what I mean, ya all. I work on a teacher's salary.    Who are these people who are competing at 4th level, going off to different regional events?  Is it just an illusion where they are in comparison to where we 1st and 2nd levelers are, meaning can we be closer to that in a heart beat if we only knew the magic pass word?  Is that word money? Is that word intimidation? Is that word narcissistic bullying? Is that word: the great american know who?  not know how? 

 I feel I lay myself out here on this forum today as the great sacrificial dressage amatuer in hopes of finding answers, not only for myself but for everyone else here who can understand and relate to where I'm coming from.  if, not you can find me in the bar n on the back of a cartoon coaster mare.       what ever.       Thanks for listening[/QUOTE]\

Wow Molly, I can soooooooo relate to you. A little bit of different circumstances, in that I have always boarded. From my side I have always envied those with their own place. I have a full time job, 3 children which often creates situations where you can’t ride enough or something interferes. I feel like I spend 15 years at training/1st level. I might have to agree with the poster that mentioned you might not be spending your money at the right places. After years and years of the same ole same ole, I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to purchase a young horse, leave it in training with someone I trusted Even though I only rode it 4 times a year (horse was in Europe), I learned more during those 4 years than the 15 years I spent prior. I am not suggesting you need to go to Europe to do this, but the point is that if you have the right instructor, you can learn alot in a small amount of time. It might also benefit you to put the horse in training for a short time. Good luck

[simc24]

I also you find you inspirational tempichange. I am going through some major changes in my life, and I think now is the time to focus on my dreams with nothing to hold me back. I am 24, and I, too, would like to be an upper-level amateur one day. I’m interested in your comments about saving show money in order to spend it on training. I am bringing my young horse along and interested in getting more show miles under both of our belts, but perhaps it’s better to spend the money with my trainer instead. I hadn’t really thought of it like that.

Molly, I too get frustrated by my seeming lack of funds. There is a saddle I am dying for that is at least a year away from being afforded, a trailer that I dream about at night, and the majority of my lessons come from books and videos. But the thought of riding my horse into an upper level ring is more than I can resist. I don’t even have to win- I just want to be there.

I am blessed to have friends that loan me trailers, a trainer that takes pity on me and often gives me pointers (and even an occasional lesson) out of pure kindness. I even somehow managed to score a sane, sound and beautiful OTTB that is showing huge potential for next to nothing.

I think that a lot of my “problems” stem from lack of funds. Occasionally I am disheartened because I have a hit a brickwall, and NEED a lesson to help me sort through, but the money is just not there right then.

For me, though, it really boils down to love of the horse. Love of the sport comes second to me. So when I am down because of any of the factors listed above, I try to put in perspective how lucky I am to have everything I have, starting with an animal that I absolutely love and really makes my life complete.

[papony]

Forever an Amateur???

I’m confused by the title… What does any of this have to do with being an amateur?

[exvet]

What is so bad about being an amateur? It’s said as if the word means not as intense, not as serious, not as willing to work hard for one’s goals or worse no serious goals at all. I’m an amateur. I work a full-time job, always have. I started in dressage while in vet school because the hunter horse of my dreams who I purchased at 18 months of age with money I earned from working 3 jobs (and before I got accepted to vet school) couldn’t jump her way out of a paper bag but she was an elegant mover. So I took the occasional lesson trying to fit riding in whenever I could but due to the time commitments of school & odd jobs, later my “real” job and other life changes the progress always seemed slow. However all through work, marriage, kids I held on to my dreams. I have always been the one driving the old truck, wearing outdated fashions, riding in tack that’s well into the double digits and usually not matching :eek: I have often referred to myself as the white trash contingent of the dressage world. I am now 46. Over the years I have brought horses along who weren’t “meant to be” dressage horses. I earned my bronze medal more than a few years ago and after having to retire that horse brought another one up that is at FEI. There have been other “teachers” (aka horses) along the way. I’ve hit plateau after plateau. Each time I decided to take an introspective look and decide what needed to change in order to stay the course. Sometimes that meant altering the path a little from what it was and what I thought it needed to be at one time but I’m a firm believer in the many paths to Rome. I have my FEI horse and 5 different horses/ponies all showing promise and a hint that I might be able to earn my gold someday as long as I keep focused, keep putting in the hours, and continue to work on improving myself - if I do that, the horses will progress as well. It’s hard but doesn’t everything in life worth having take sacrifice? Why wouldn’t dressage be any different?

One thing I will end with and that is stop worrying about what you don’t have. Focus on what you do have and what you can do with it to progress. There will always be someone better and someone who has more. Nothing you can do about that but you can continue to work hard to improve your own riding and there is no shame in that. While we all strive for perfection there is nothing more stifling than dwelling on what “it is not”. Learn to appreciate when the horse is less crooked because you caught it before it got too far. Learn to relish when your horse starts to demonstrate more power in his/her hind end. When you focus on those types of basics a lot of the rest will fall into place. It’s about the baby steps…all about the incremental progress and not what we amateurs “can’t do”.

[mishmash]

Molly, I get the impression that some of your frustration comes from the feeling that no one is recognizing how hard you have worked, and how far you have come. That you are ‘just’ another adult amateur plugging along. That you are just another hour in your instructors day.
I also understand and empathize with how you feel. Wanting something so badly, and feeling like you are barely making progress. I know that I am a better rider than I was a few years ago. But still being at training level often makes me feel I am not. I am starting over with a young horse, and high hopes, but we shall see. Am almost afraid to get excited about him. But have decided that it is my dream, and I will pursue it, and ignore the naysayers. And I will enjoy the journey.

[CFFarm]

Life is what happens while we are making plans. I know it is very, very frustrating but things could be much more difficult. I’m 58 and just now have a small farm, a stable (no pun intended) life, a wonderful husband and can pay my bills. I can also take a clinic a few times a year. You are lucky to be coming up now, when dressage is popular and the education is out there. I was a very talented rider when I was younger but with a life history that people think I must be exaggerating about I missed a lot of opportunities. I know you’ve heard it before but count your blessings and keep yourself and your horse, as they say, calm-forward and straight and go after your dreams no matter how long they take to happen.