Forever the "Poor" Client?

[Dappled.Hunter]

Is there ever any relief to the feeling that you are the “poor” client by needing to budget?

I finally found my dream barn. The care is phenomenal. The program has done wonders for my confidence and my horse is as happy as a clam. The cost is higher than I’ve ever paid, but I can comfortably make it work if as long as stick with my budget. I have been there just over a year.

The issue I’m having is when it comes to horse shows. The barn only does rated shows, but I can participate as long as we stay local. However, they are steering away from doing rated shows in our state. They like to go out of state for weeks at a time, which is very difficult for me to do multiple times each year. My budget just doesn’t have that fluidity at this point.

We have a small group and everyone else is 15-20 years older than me. They have no issue doing multiple out-of-town shows with 2-3 horses each. They are basically budgetless and are certainly in a much higher tax bracket than me.

I’m a working professional and do well for myself, but it’s still not enough. I cannot afford to spend 10 weeks out of the year showing in other states. I want to show my horse and I absolutely adore this program, but showing with them is becoming very difficult. I want to add that no one at the barn pressures me to go or makes me feel lesser for not - they are not snobby and we get along very well. The issue is that I want to participate, but can’t and I’m the only one there wanting cheaper options.

I’m afraid to leave a program that works so well for my horse and I, but want to be able to show more. What’s the right answer? A lesser program, but the ability to show more? Or a better program with hardly any shows? Is there ever a time in this sport that I won’t feel like no matter how much I earn it’s just never enough to be competitive? Ugh.

Anyone else is welcome to vent. I’m certain I’m not the only one to have this feeling. Thanks all.

[gertie06]

Could your trainer connect you with another professional you could meet at local shows? I have done that before and it worked great.

[fivestrideline]

Seconding talking to trainer about meeting someone else at the local shows - especially if you want to go while they’re away out of state and DEFINITELY if you want to do B/C rated (often the same venues and quality but a fraction of the costs), there’s not much of a conflict of interest. I did it that way for years!
It’s even easier if you have your own rig - you can haul in only for the days you actually want to show or school, and save even more money vs staying the whole week just because that’s when the trailer goes!

[Ponygirlmom]

My first thought was also to ask your trainer to help connect you with another trainer who you can show with while staying at your current barn. Our trainer does this in reverse; a fellow trainer only shows locally, so our trainer will take his one or two students who want to go out of state along and provide show support and coaching. It’s an arrangement that works well.

[173north]

Agreed with those suggesting to link up with someone else local, but I’m also wondering if there’s anyone staying home to give lessons and pro rides while they’re all away who could go to local shows with you, or maybe a plan to bring someone on? It sounds like you’re in a nice program, I can’t imagine they plan to leave you at home twiddling your thumbs for 2.5 months out of every year.

[trubandloki]

I would start by simply having a conversation with your trainer about how you still want to show, but you can not afford the long away shows that they are doing. Then ask them if there is any option for doing the more local shows.
I am guessing your trainer will do as other have suggested and give you the name of someone to connect with at a local show. Or they will try to find some local shows that they can fit into their schedule.

[Horsegirl_s_Mom]

Have you had any informal conversations with your fellow boarders to see if they would be interested in diversifying the show schedule to include some local shows? Maybe everyone is just going along with it, but some would rather not travel so much (for them, it might not be budget considerations, but other life/work issues that make it hard to be away so much).

The trainer won’t change the program for you, but if several clients all expressed an interest in doing a couple more local shows, maybe the trainer would accommodate?

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

It certainly wouldn’t hurt to ask the trainer about meeting a pro at local shows for on-site coaching when the barn is away elsewhere, or about putting other, closer shows on the schedule.

But be prepared that your trainer may have found it easier and more profitable to focus on higher-end clients who can afford multiple days (weeks) away showing. The fact there are now even crossrail and beginner classes at rated shows makes it easier for a barn to just go to a larger, more costly show with as much of the barn as can afford it than to split the barn’s schedule between schooling and less prestigious shows.

I’d talk to the trainer first before your fellow boarders. Unfortunately from your perspective, the income your trainer is making from all those rated shows may be what is subsidizing the program.

[StormyDay]

I rode with a trainer who I loved, but due to financial and time reasons I couldn’t travel with her to shows. She went out of state or across state a lot of the time. Instead I went to local shows on my own.
The awe those other students had for me. ‘You went to shows? By yourself? On your own?’

You would have thought I had told them I went to the Olympics.

So I say, go to shows on your own. Bring a friend to help you. Rope your mom/dad/significant other in. Even if you only feel comfortable doing cross rails that first show due to not having a trainer with you, you are accomplishing something amazing that a lot of people in programs couldn’t dream of. You do you, enjoy your trainer when she is at home, and go show as much (or as little) as you want.

[Old_Mac_Donald]

Is it some mandatory requirement that you must have your coach there to show? Is it the barn’s business if you choose to pop your horse on your float and head off to a show?

I’ve never taken my coach to a show, ever. It’s just not a thing here. Yet it seems that one cannot show without the trainer pulling all the strings (and $$ from your pocket) in the US. Why is this? Is this a cultural dependancy or an acquired norm that you’ll get fired by a trainer if you dare go somewhere without them?

[TheBigEasy]

This.

I’m in a barn with a lot of Arabians, and have a draft x. They do the Arab and some open shows. If there a conflict I ask my non-horsey-who-loves-horses friend and she comes along.

While I prefer to have the trainer there, I won’t pass up a show I want (and can) attend due to the rest of the folks schedule.

And yes. Doing it independently is a source of pride in accomplishment before I ever get in the ring.

Side note - educate the non- horsey- horse -friend on how to call a dressage test before you throw her ringside - lest it come out like an essay and she’s reading the final “halt, salute” before you’ve done the first trot circle.

[AmmyHunter]

@Old_Mac_Donald

Yet it seems that one cannot show without the trainer pulling all the strings (and $$ from your pocket) in the US. Why is this? Is this a cultural dependancy or an acquired norm that you’ll get fired by a trainer if you dare go somewhere without them?

None of the above. There are no bonus points for doing it without a coach there to help you. My trainer’s fees are very reasonable, it is not the money grab you make it out to be, and having her there helps me perform at my best, and work through what went right and what went wrong. I could go do it by myself (and have done so), but that’s not going to be the best possible experience, and when I devote that much time, effort and money to a competition, I want to learn in addition to just doing it. If my trainer is there and sees what’s working and what isn’t, it is much easier for her to plan exercises to address the weaknesses. Also, I don’t have time to juggle my job and all the packing/shipping/daycare myself. I can only do this because there is someone else there to ride my horse on the warmup days while I’m working, and to help me juggle everything. You are still going in the ring and riding the round yourself, but without the help outside of the ring, showing would be almost impossible with my schedule and not nearly as beneficial or as much fun.

To the OP, I agree with everyone who says start with a conversation with your trainer. Your trainer will likely appreciate that you are enjoying the program and want to participate as much as possible, but that not everyone can afford to do what the others are doing. You can’t ask them to bend their program around your needs, but you can ask them to help you come up with alternatives to make it work to stay there. When my trainer switched up our schedule and replaced a show I was really looking forward to with one that didn’t offer my division, which knocked me out of going, she proactively called a trainer friend with a compatible program and offered me the opportunity to go to that show with them, so it definitely is something that is done amongst trainers with existing relationships.

[fivestrideline]

This “why do Americans/people in general want trainers with them at shows” thing has been hashed out, ad nauseum, on a million other threads. Let’s not derail this one too!

[OfCourseItsAnAlter]

And once again, people from other countries fail to appreciate the size and diversity of the US equestrian community or understand that most of those who post here on the COTH forum are small parts of very small subsections of equestrians in the US.

The majority of US equestrians don’t show at all, and if they do show, they do it independently or with a group of friends. Many of them - gasp - don’t ride with a trainer or have their horse in a program.

I really don’t understand the need of some people to look down their noses at, and make critical posts about, Americans showing with their trainers. What is so difficult about accepting that people in other countries, and even different areas within a very large country, may have different cultures and practices?

[findeight]

For OP, don’t stereotype your barn mates as “ budgetless” just because they can spend more then you can… Their budget is just bigger then yours, theres still a budget and they still have other obligations that must be met.

[Dappled.Hunter]

Good idea. I’m going to ask her if that is an option. Fingers crossed and thanks for your response!

[Dappled.Hunter]

Unfortunately, we don’t have someone staying home to teach lessons, which makes even more disappointing to turn down shows. I plan to ask her about tagging along with another trainer. Thanks for your response!

[Dappled.Hunter]

The other boarders aren’t interested in lower cost options or more local shows. They actually prefer the opposite (more out of town shows). Thanks for response!

[Dappled.Hunter]

I appreciate your input, but please note that I used the term “basically” before describing my barnmates as “budgetless”. “Basically” is used to indicate a roughly accurate account of a more complex situation (meaning, not exact). It is evident that people have other obligations and budgets. My barnmates are fantastic and it was not my intention to stereotype them or imply any negative connotations regarding their situations or otherwise. I hope this clarifies any miscommunication that may exist.

[findeight]

Fair enough but text is very hard to communicate with and we know you only by what you post.

Sounds like you would be happier and spend your money more wisely with a different barn/trainer. There should be several near you specializing in shows closer to home. Your current trainer should have no problem recommending one to you if you are honest about why you wish to change. Its not that unusual.

You can also go to those closer shows and hang around the schooling rings to evaluate other possible trainers whose business model better fits your needs.