Friday fun...let's keep up the rest of the world on their toes

[Cactuskate]

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it �in�

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
   over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write �for sexual favors�.

7. Finish all your sentences with �in accordance with the prophecy.�

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is �to go�.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream �I won!�, �I won!� �3rd
    time this week!!!�

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling run for your lives, they’re loose!!�

19. Tell your children over dinner. �Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.�

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send him or her stuff like this.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[Hardly_there]

LOL I love this!!!

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving may not be for you.

[hobson]

This reminds me of a friend of mine who sends gag resumes for job postings. He’ll create an impressively serious-looking resume for a profession he has nothing to do with, and somewhere in a list of “professional accomplishments” he’ll do stuff like say that he once ate an entire head of lettuce in one sitting. He sends the resume with a serious cover letter, and waits to see if anyone responds.

He also likes to surprise his companions by suddenly dashing away, diving and rolling over shrubberys, hiding and screaming “stay away from me!” Or, he’ll pick up a sidewalk cafe chair, wave it over his head hollering something about “when will they stop the madness.” Believe it or not, he’s neither mentally ill nor incompetent in any way. Just REALLY impulsive.

[ErinB]

ROTFL!!!

~Erin Lizzy
Visit my Website!
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” -Henry Ford

[FatLilPony]

This reminds me of the ‘bean man’. ErinB and I were at my wal-mart in my town, picking up random things such as double d lepord print bras and gigantic 6 lb boxes of beans and randomly placing them in unsespecting shopper’s carts! We dropped a 6 lb box of beans in a mans cart right as he turned around, and just sort of looked at us weirdly! I was screaming RUN RUN! You should’ve seen the faces on the people around us! Dropping xl panties in peoples carts! haha. or big bags of godfood. We even dropped a scented toilet paper roll in someone’s basket.

Not To meantion when I was at HER grocery store,we went in the wheelchair cart and one pushed as we made odd faces and picked up our goods As we wheeled around, we sang xmas carols ( summertime) and made numerous farm animal noises. As people passed by (I was in the cart) I’d reach out and say MOOOOMMY! It was hilarious

“They love me, they love me, they really really love ME!”
-Me ( I wuv you too!)

[ErinB]

Yeah, and btw, I got the idea for the Wal-Mart spree from a Friday Funny posted on THIS board. Be careful with those things!

(The story about the wheelchair is priceless. Sigh.)

~Erin Lizzy
Visit my Website!
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” -Henry Ford

[FatLilPony]

Oh-and another thing.

When you’re shpiing in a store, each time you pass people make a diffrent face, like, stick your tounge out and be cross eyed. and then the next persin you pass, trip over your feet a lot. It’s fun, REALLY!

“They love me, they love me, they really really love ME!”
-Me ( I wuv you too!)

[ErinB]

Or do it all in front of the same person.

~Erin Lizzy
Visit my Website!
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” -Henry Ford

[FatLilPony]

that could work…

“They love me, they love me, they really really love ME!”
-Me ( I wuv you too!)

[Cactuskate]

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it �in�

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
   over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write �for sexual favors�.

7. Finish all your sentences with �in accordance with the prophecy.�

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is �to go�.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream �I won!�, �I won!� �3rd
    time this week!!!�

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling run for your lives, they’re loose!!�

19. Tell your children over dinner. �Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.�

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…

20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send him or her stuff like this.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[Mikey85]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

CORRECTION:

9. As often as possible, CANTER rather than walk.

For all of the cantering freaks like me out there!

~Jessica~ & Just In Time a.k.a. “Mikey”, my 7 year old chestnut QH show hunter. Showing in 3’ Children’s Hunters currently w/ The Ethel Walker School.

[Jo]

Muhahahaha, that cracks me up everytime I read it.

[Kellybird]

KBird…who takes her meet-and-greet duties way too seriously