Friday funny

[Erin]

I hadn’t seen this one before, so my apologies if everyone else has!

HOW MANY RIDERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horse’s pulse / respiration / hydration levels to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. Um, any chance that the light bulb could assist me in my conditioning regimen…

DRESSAGE QUEEN: Me! Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn’t possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things can not be rushed, but must be>approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER: Hmm, as soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall (whilst riding Hell For Leather cross-country) I’ll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It will put hair on your chest. Only prissy Dressage Queens require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my ass. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

NATURAL HORSEMAN You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics” (video available at $99.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented “light bulb coaxer” designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.

[havaklu]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DMK:
HUNTER PRINCESS - Change the lightbulb? Surely the groom handles that part? I mean how else would my 6 hunters get braided? If I MUST change the lightbulb surely my trainer will climb up the ladder first to make sure it is safe? And then of course, my groom will hold the ladder as I climb up, and make sure all the dirt is dusted off my boots as I ascend?

Will that do, 'klu? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah - and then we need to add a part about “lightbulb training” fees and lightbulb supply fees (EXPONENTIALLY proportional to the wattage of the bulb) that will be billed to the client in full lightbulb training.

Self Care Hunter Riders: Must supply own lightbulb (purchased in bulk at SAMS), climb aboard a rickety ladder of death, and screw in their own bulb. Of course they will be billed a 15% commission on the price of the bulb.

[Nirvana]

HUNTER PRINCESS: Light bulb? Me??? Well, I’d better go get my trainer first to advise me what color bulb to put in. After all, that bland yellow is sooo last season! I’m thinking a nice green…but I wonder if that would make my puke green TS breeches look pukier??

[Kahuna]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Self Care Hunter Riders: Must supply own lightbulb (purchased in bulk at SAMS), climb aboard a rickety ladder of death, and screw in their own bulb. Of course they will be billed a 15% commission on the price of the bulb.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think I just soiled myself due to uncontrollable laughter.

The jumper riders, IF they were to change a lightbulb would have to do it as quickly as possible. Of course, there would be a huge fee to pay for the ‘nominated’ bulb!

[Nirvana]

I don’t suppose Beval’s carries light bulbs??

[Pirateer]

Here is that horse breeds one…

Thoroughbred: Just one. And he’ll rewire the barn while he’s at it.

Shetland pony: I can’t reach the stupid lamp!!!
Saddlebred: Sorry, just had my hooves and mane done.
Morgan: Oh, OH, me, ME! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I fiddle with all the kewl tools in your toolbox too? By the way, when is dinner?
Quarter Horse: Forget the darned light bulb, im not afraid of the dark.
Trakhener: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?!?
Holsteiner: How DARE that light bulb burn out! How DARE you ask me to change it!
National show horse: Lights? Lights? Where? Do you want me to pose? This is my good side. No! Wait! Let me get my mane straight … No! Wait! This angle is all wrong. Do you want dramatic, bold or maybe sensitive …

Rebecca and Pirateer The Pi, 9 yr old bay tb gelding.

Go Big, or Go Home

[FirstCry]

Oh my!! Too too funny. LOLROTFPIMP. My boss thinks I have lost my mind, giggling hysterically at the screen, when I’m supposed to be working.

Member of the Baby Greenie Support Group of North America

[findeight]

The National show Horse MUST have light to get the makeup on right.

From Allergy Valley USA

[Magnolia]

Quarter Horse Queen
“Oh my god - a light bulb burned out? Ima Skip’s larkin Shufflin Kinda Guy is going to get hairy from the 5 minutes the lights were out. Quick, get me my super slinky neck cover and 3 Big D blankets before he’s a wooly mammoth!!!”

[Erin]

I hadn’t seen this one before, so my apologies if everyone else has!

HOW MANY RIDERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horse’s pulse / respiration / hydration levels to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. Um, any chance that the light bulb could assist me in my conditioning regimen…

DRESSAGE QUEEN: Me! Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn’t possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things can not be rushed, but must be>approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

EVENTER: Hmm, as soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall (whilst riding Hell For Leather cross-country) I’ll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It will put hair on your chest. Only prissy Dressage Queens require lights, anyway.

SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my ass. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

NATURAL HORSEMAN You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics” (video available at $99.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented “light bulb coaxer” designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.

[Inverness]

Does the light bulb go on the girdle or the nightingale?

[havaklu]

love your addition -

This is fun and I’m sure there are a few more who can add to the definitions.

[havaklu]

very funny Erin - but where is the Hunter Princess definition?

[Lucassb]

I can change that lightbulb while spinning 180 degrees around on my hind legs, as long as you promise not to hit me in the shins with that d@mn mallet again

[Cactuskate]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Pirateer:
Here is that horse breeds one…

Thoroughbred: Just one. And he’ll rewire the barn while he’s at it.

Shetland pony: I can’t reach the stupid lamp!!!
Saddlebred: Sorry, just had my hooves and mane done.
Morgan: Oh, OH, me, ME! Pleeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I fiddle with all the kewl tools in your toolbox too? By the way, when is dinner?
Quarter Horse: Forget the darned light bulb, im not afraid of the dark.
Trakhener: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?!?
Holsteiner: How DARE that light bulb burn out! How DARE you ask me to change it!
National show horse: Lights? Lights? Where? Do you want me to pose? This is my good side. No! Wait! Let me get my mane straight … No! Wait! This angle is all wrong. Do you want dramatic, bold or maybe sensitive …<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Appaloosa: The lights went out?? When did that happen??

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[beameup]

this one stands under the light bulb while someone spins it around and around and around until the lightbulb goes back on again. of course, the next day, the light bulb is out again.

[Miniwelsh]

Everyone out of my way as I attempt to jump my small pony four feet while screwing in the lightbulb at the same time…hey those big guys are doing it…

Behind every good woman lies a trail of men

[DMK]

HUNTER PRINCESS - Change the lightbulb? Surely the groom handles that part? I mean how else would my 6 hunters get braided? If I MUST change the lightbulb surely my trainer will climb up the ladder first to make sure it is safe? And then of course, my groom will hold the ladder as I climb up, and make sure all the dirt is dusted off my boots as I ascend?

Will that do, 'klu?

[DMK]

Inverness, 'klu… to para-quote sweet pea, I must go remove my lunch from my computer screen…

[Everythingbutwings]

That is included in my trainer’s fee