Funniest ever back-handed compliment/insult from your trainer

[bornfreenowexpensive]

[QUOTE=Foxtrot’s;7475449]
A dear friend and old school trainer once told me that my horse was the biggest waste of talent she’d ever seen…obviously, I didn’t measure up to the horse :([/QUOTE]

Obviously out of context…but I would typically understand that to mean that while the horse has a ton of talent…he doesn’t use it or try. It wouldn’t be an insult against the rider…but more that horse doesn’t give 100%.

Now if they said the horse being with you was the biggest waste of talent…that means something else.

[MissAriel]

Not from a trainer, but a judge at a schooling show when I was a kid riding the only Appaloosa in a sea of bay and chestnut hunters. “I really can’t stand Appaloosas, but yours is maybe the best I have seen”

[HappyHorselover]

“Your left leg is improving, it looks less like a prosthesis now and more like you actually control it”

[Foxtrot_s]

Ha, ha - It was a long time ago…guess I’ll never know for sure!

[RockstarPony]

Not actually riding related, but my favorite was said by my trainer at the time at my very first proper show… she offered to help me wrangle my hair into my helmet, then informed me that “you have excellent hair net hair, you should really consider a career as a lunch lady!” :lol:

[OverandOnward]

“What’dya fall off for?” In a stern and unforgiving tone. :o

I understood the question as asking what purpose was I trying to accomplish by falling off … the tone indicated there was no expectation that it was anything worthwhile. :winkgrin:

[McGurk]

When beginning to be serious about my dressage education, and taking lessons for a Gran Prix rider, if I would do something crude or obvious, she would say " What was that? Event dressage?" A bad lesson was if she repeated the phrase “Event dressage” several times, a good lesson was if she said “that’s pretty close to real dressage.”

A clinician once told a friend of mine, a very timid adult with a tendency to perch forward, even at the walk “You look so temporary up there.”

[sophie]

This thread is funny!
I ride a mare that I bought at the track. She is small, with a less-than-perfect conformation and very average gaits.
-Written on a dressage text, in the “rider” comments: “savvy rider”. I took it to mean that I was pretty good at hiding my horse’s flaws…? Not sure.

• After a dismal dressage test, when I salute, the judge tells me “does she jump”?
• My instructor, during jumping lessons, with an unbelieving shake of her head “I just don’t know how you stay on” (lunatic Ottb yahooing after jumps)
• Same instructor, flat lesson “Look at that, she’s turning into a real sport pony!” (after spending a good 40 mn at trot/canter with me huffing and puffing trying to get the back up and swinging and the steps bigger).

I think the funniest was years and years ago in France, when my instructor asked to ride the mare I was on (my sister’s mare, a cute and talented Selle Français). He could not get anything good out of her, except a very pissy extended trot on the diagonal. The mare hated men, and he did not believe it, so he got on…big mistake, she spent the 20 mn or so he was on her trying to get him off or reacting negatively to any of his aids and did. not. back.down. He jumped off, threw me the reins and said “Dog food”. With us girls on board tho, the mare was a doll

[OverandOnward]

• After the first-time over a “difficult” jump - I had anticipated problems but there were none - “He was an angel - lucky for you!” DOH

• Judge’s dressage test comment on the free walk (more than once): “Tourist”
  (My horse considered “free walk” to mean he is free to look around)

[Duckz]

@OverandOnward;7479261

• Judge’s dressage test comment on the free walk (more than once): “Tourist”

omg this is perfect! :lol::lol::lol:

[netg]

I was scribing this weekend and for a medium canter was given “Conservatively ridden; wisely so” as a comment. The horse/rider were on the verge of elimination for off-course naughtiness prior to that point.

[Fred]

Years ago I boarded at a big dressage facility owned by Germans who were also importing WBs.
My horse was a big, handsome OTTB named Bob (I’ve written about Bob, Fred’s older brother before…). Bob was a horse with more personality than entirely necessary.

The couple who were also the trainers used to always come and watch me ride Bob, and one day the wife pronounced: “He is a very good mover…long pause…for a Thoroughbred…”

ps I always love some of the comments on dressage tests, shows a sense of humour on the part of the judges.

[gr8fulrider]

Bob was a horse with more personality than entirely necessary.

This reads like the first line of a wonderful short story.

[avesane]

After a year of hunter lessons (after a 20 year break from some scrappy western ranch riding), my trainer said “Huh. You’re starting to look like a rider” and then clarified that previous to that I had been “a sitter”. Guess that’s kind of a compliment.

Also had a fairly famous dressage trainer yell across the arena at me during a clinic “Ah! That’s your problem! You are an ass clencher!” Oh, well. There ya go I guess!

[BEARCAT]

From eventing coach: “Considering how bad his canter is, it’s amazing how well he can jump…”

From dressage judge: “Is your horse gaited?”

(Horse had SI issues for which he was compensating by going into a lateral canter. I wasn’t aware of it at the time otherwise I certainly would not have been jumping him or even asking him to canter - I still feel bad about that, even though he was very game. Much better now!)

[purplnurpl]

I have some whopers from BNTs

Will Coleman:
You’re a nice big girl.

Will Coleman again:
I’m sure you make a nice kodak moment, but…(censored)

Will Coleman AGAIN (I was on a roll that weekend):
Wow, nice job today. You ride better sick.
[I was functional only because I was on a massive dose of steroids.]

---

Lucida Green described me as:
A weeping willow–with a WFP comparison to my height…

Jim Graham called me and my big gray horse:
Trixie and Gumby Boy

Jimmy Wofford described me as:
an octopus

The above 3 comments having to do with my long arms/legs and ability to basically put them anywhere at anytime as to never pop my horse/s in the mouth over fences or land hard on the horse/s back.

And with those descriptions came the second half of each comment which was to tighten my sh*% up. Kind of like, “wow, that’s amazing? How do you do that? Don’t do it again.”

[purplnurpl]

Oh, and since we are listing insults…this one is kind of off topic because it wasn’t a complement at all–only the back hand.

Clark Montgomery told me my horse was fugly.
Of course it was all in good humor…
Boom was a dark dapply gray but bleached out to a nasty pink color.
After that I kept him up during the day and turned him out at night.

[In1]

[QUOTE=Foxtrot’s;7475449]
A dear friend and old school trainer once told me that my horse was the biggest waste of talent she’d ever seen…obviously, I didn’t measure up to the horse :([/QUOTE]

I can empathize. I had a student’s horse who was the BIGGEST waste of talent. The reason had nothing to do with his teenage rider - and everything to do with his absolute crummy work ethic - or complete lack-of. He had a phenomenal trot and lovely canter - but would not do either without a total workout for the rider. He performed okay for his teenage rider but poorly for anyone else (pro rider or not). Tight, tidy knees - assuming you got him over a fence.

He was, from birth, 100% happy to be a pasture professor.

[KayBee]

[QUOTE=Fred;7480320]

ps I always love some of the comments on dressage tests, shows a sense of humour on the part of the judges.[/QUOTE]

Have you ever seen this thread? I re-read it before every show/event.

Cracks me up, every time - and I’m always hopeful that people will add new stories.

[runNjump86]

Some of these are hilarious! I love the ‘tourist’ comment from the judge…I can totally see Sky getting that. He does love to look around at the free walk.

Nothing too bad yet, but one of my trainer’s favorite go-to comments is “Don’t f&#% if up!” Short, to the point, and I totally get it!!