Funny/nutty horse stories

[anon40672407]

My trainer and I spend way too much lesson time exchanging horse stories. So let’s do some here instead.

I had a very stupid horse once. Flighty, chestnut mare beware, no lights on kind of horse.

I boarded at home, and would ride down to the riding club. At our riding arena (located right in a suburban area) we had big car/truck gates to go thru, and a rider gate to go thru with just the horse, located at 90 degrees to it.

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I always, religiously, took my mare thru the rider gate. It required me to show up with my key so I could get in. The truck gate was supposed to be closed at all times, but sometimes folks would come in and ride, and only close it when they left.

It was a day like that when my mare dumped me at the back of the property and took off for home like a bullet. Really showing her TB nature, that horse. And the big truck gate was wide open. She had a straight shot from the back of a 7 acre property right out that gate onto suburban streets (and her path home). I figured I had a walk ahead of me, and if she got mangled by a garbage truck, too bad.

Anyway, she galloped like a mad thing toward that big open truck gate, ignored it, then swerved right to the rider gate, which wasn’t open. Dumb bunny was therefore “caught” in that front corner of the property and couldn’t get home. I’m hundreds of yards behind her, she had several minutes to figure things out, but nope.

I don’t think any of my other horses were that stupid, but I always took them thru the rider gate as well, just in case. Never did lose a horse out onto the road.

You?

[Bluey]

Went to look at a four year old pretty, big bay horse a friend had for sale.
She had bought him from the breeder, a local fellow to her.
He had raised and started him and used him some.
She trained him further and had him for sale.

We bought him and asked about another horse she had in the pen.
That was a good looking dun with some white and that rare white lacing on his dun line over his hip.
She asked if we liked him, we said he sure was pretty.
She said that was Hobo and if we wanted him, he is yours and gave him to us.
Then she warned us, she didn’t get along with him and was a half brother to the bay horse.
She got him from the breeder, at the same time she bought the bay horse, given to her along with the bay, breeder also didn’t like him at all.

Oh, well, we still took Hobo along.
She was right, he would go, but only at his own speed and under protest.
If you asked him to move on putting a bit of leg, he would cowlick and hit your foot in the stirrup!
He just was contrary and didn’t seem to care to work cattle, that cow gene didn’t come thru on him.

We used him some and had him where he seemed to like to go along and do things.
He was very safe as he would not shy, didn’t care enough to be jumpy about anything much.

A few months later, a neighbor needed a horse and came look at the bay.
He liked him and bought him and while there, asked about the dun.
We asked if he liked him, he said he sure was nice looking, so we gave him to him.
We told him that no one really bonded with him, because he didn’t bond with anyone, horses or humans and was very much bombproof, but not to expect him to do much very fast.

Talking to our neighbor later, he told us everyone was right, horse was just not all there mentally, but very safe just to plod along.
He gave him to his nephew, who eventually sold him to a man that went in those wagon trail rides in Kansas, where they camp out for several days.
That was a perfect place for Hobo, nothing much to do but slowly amble along all day, enjoying the pretty scenery.

Moral of the story, there is a place for every horse and a horse for every place, even Hobo.

[streamline]

I bought a flashy looking bay from the race track for 700$, should of been red flag 101. This was 4 years ago. Took him home, put him on the hotwalker… the neighbors had sheep. Horse flipped over on the hot walker and pulled the whole thing down. He was fine. Since then he’s busted out of the cross ties. He got stuck under a round bale feeder. He’s still the most sound horse I’ve owned. Just NQR in the head.

He also hates cows, which is unfortunate because that’s what my SO does on the side. When I boarded him the manager would put him in the pasture with her steers.

My grandmother had the best horse stories. I wish I had a tape recorder. One of my favorites was, she went to try a mare with her friend. Owner said the horse bolts, she got in and sure enough the mare bolted. She said she basically stuck her foot in the mares face and let her run until she stopped. She bought the horse and said horse never did that again.

Lots of cool stories. This was in the 70s and 80s in Mill Valley and Tomales.

[OneTwoMany]

Growing up, my family didn’t have a ton of money to throw at horses. My first “show horse” was a greenish TB project horse. Over fences, her form wasn’t stellar and to be quite frank, I don’t think she liked to jump all that much. My trainer was a firm believe in a steady diet of gymnastics and she used them often in lessons. One day during a lesson we were working on the mare’s form and the trainer was slowly making the last element of a gymnastic, a bit wider to encourage the mare to not unfold too quickly. During one pass through the gymnastic, the mare went to jump the last element and while in the air, she somehow turned her body 90 degrees and landed between the front rail and the back rail of the oxer with her body parallel to the rails. The bottom of my left stirrup was practically touching the top of the front rail and the bottom of my right stirrup was practically touching the top of the back rail. We were speechless. Trainer had to take down the back rail so we could walk out from between the front and the back rails of the oxer.

A number of years later, I was considering an unbroke 3-year old. He looked athletic, had good bloodlines and a laid-back temperment. We asked the owner if they had ever free jumped him. Owner said they had not free jumped him, but would do so and send us video. Video arrives. The chute was set up with some schooling standards and rails about 5’ off the ground that ran parallel to the wall of the indoor. Inside the chute there were a couple of modest jump elements set up. At one point in the video, the owner and a helper were trying to chase the horse to one end of the indoor so he could re-enter the chute, but the youngster wasn’t understanding what he was supposed to do. Finally he took a “guess” as to what they wanted and from a standstill he jumped the 5’ rail and landed inside the chute with his nose practially touching the wall. We went to see him, bought him and shipped him home. He was always a little goofy but could jump from anywhere and could always take a joke.

[ReSomething]

The old guy had been kept up his entire life so he really was lost anywhere but a showgrounds. I took the two of them, him and the pony, for a hand graze to the glades in our wooded area and he noped his way out of there after tree number ten. Took himself back to the pasture gate, stood there and called till we got back.

I guess he thought a fly mask was a hood and the first time I went to put it on he did the giraffe thing, so I snuck it up his neck. Next time I put it on he put his head down so politely, let me get the ears right etc, raised up for me to adjust the Velcro. He loved scritches, came to understand the value of the swatting hand for horseflies.

He didn’t trailer well, we finally would put him loose in the stock trailer with the pony and he’d lean on the pony and sweat all over him, but no scrambling, none of the having to ace him and herd him in that my trainer had used.

He got out more than once, and I’d walk out with my coffee to find the cats and the horse waiting at the door. He was a huge pet, rather expensive due to his age related conditions, but I really miss his personality.

[clanter]

on the lines of aregard, my older daughter and friend were out riding on the local trails which was normal. Then here comes the friend’s mount trotting up the driveway with a police car following…behind that parade was daughter with friend riding double on Foxie.

Police said we saw your horse trotting down the road but it appeared it knew where it was going so we just made sure traffic was clear. They were concerned at one point as she had to cross a four lane divided major highway… but they said she went to the crosswalk., stopped, looked both ways to make sure it was clear then went to the center median, stopped again looked both ways then trotted across up the street to the second left turn came down the street to turn in our drive , she wasn’t at all concerned.

So daughter and her passenger arrive… OK what happened? Well we were galloping up the levee embankment and at the top you had turn sharply she fell off, Shay (the horse) stopped immediately but looked at her rider on the ground, then looked at my daughter she who said with an expression of “I Had Nothing To Do With That”, turn then started trotting back the way we came

The police said during the three miles they followed her the horse never ran a stop sign, always looked both ways before crossing a street or intersection… and they said she appeared to know where she wanted to go so we just followed at a safe distance.

[2DogsFarm]

I have a few :winkgrin:

*Schooling my TB Hunter, he cracked his back so hard over a fence (huge bascule!) my hunt cap - not a helmet, no chinstrap - popped off & bonked him right on his poll.
On landing, he gave me his Very.First.Buck. :eek:
Never bucked again.

*Same TB, being led to turnout on a fresh, Spring day, reared his full height. Surprised us both.
I swear his face said “Did not know I could do that!”

*DH’s TWH had a huge personality.
Maybe not a “funny” story, but:
We had horse just a couple months & were boarding at a place with a small indoor.
We had 3 jumps setup across the width in a serpentine so you could jump, turn, jump, turn, etc.
Coming over the 2nd fence, horse slipped & fell, flat on one side, DH still in the tack.
Horse began rolling to get to his feet, I was sure DHs leg underneath was in danger of being broken.
Amazingly, horse got to sternal, then stayed there until DH got free of the tack & got off to the side.
Only then, did horse scramble to his feet.

*When I brought my 1st 2 geldings home, I made the mistake of thinking I could unload stuff from car to barn & leave the gate open.
After all, both horses were at the far end of the 2ac pasture farthest from the gate.
Of course, in the few seconds my back was turned, both teleported to the gate :ambivalence:
I was able to close the gate on the TB, but TWH went ambling across my lawn, headed to the side road, which ran right to a heavily trafficked state road. I speedwalked after him.
TG, he got distracted by across-the-road neighbor’s ponies in their pasture & went there to visit.
A pickup drove by just after he crossed the road.
I used my jacket to “halter” him - my horses don’t wear halters in pasture - introduced myself to Mrs Neighbor & asked if she had a rope…
When the pickup returned.
It was another neighbor I’d exchanged farmsitting with, he knew where my halters/leads were & brought a set.

*Lastly, my mini limboed under the bottom line of my coated-tensile fencing.
Neighbor called to ask if I knew he was in another neighbor’s garden.
God of Fools gave me a sensible mini.
He was just 3 at the time, but let me walk right up to him & get him haltered.
Immediate trip to TSC for 300’ of no-climb to reinforce the line of posts that frost had lifted enough for mini to get out. :nonchalance:

[Denali6298]

My very first horse was an escape artist. Many phone calls from the neighbors that two of my horses were in their back yard until we found a solution she couldn’t figure out. She also only sprung her buddy.

One morning was spent running down the street after her. Thank god we lived on an extremely quiet road.

[Sunsets]

@2DogsFarm

Coming over the 2nd fence, horse slipped & fell, flat on one side, DH still in the tack.
Horse began rolling to get to his feet, I was sure DHs leg underneath was in danger of being broken.
Amazingly, horse got to sternal, then stayed there until DH got free of the tack & got off to the side.
Only then, did horse scramble to his feet.
:

I had a similar thing happen to me in a lesson. I was riding an OTTB lesson mare out in in open field about 200 yards away from the barn. It was a bit muddy, and we had just jumped a wee tiny vertical and were making a right turn to the next jump. I leaned, the mare leaned, and her feet slipped right out from under her and we slammed down on the ground HARD. (Thank god for soft ground and my mushroom helmet). We were both a bit stunned, then she righted herself to sternal and started to rise. It was at that point I realized the impact had driven my booted foot right through the stirrup and I was caught. Imagining the mare taking off back to the barn and me getting dragged along, I desperately yanked with my leg.

That grumpy, bitey mare, bless her heart, felt me tugging on the leather and stayed down until I freed myself and stood up. Only then did she scramble up to her feet and wait patiently for me to get back on board. She got SO many pets from me for that.

[JBCool]

At a previous boarding barn, we had a mini from .25-.5 mile up the road come visit us. Multiple times. The final time, he showed up in the middle of the night and drove the geldings so wild they broke the gate down. Trainer not happy with neighbor, but tried to talk to him about what to do. Turns out, the poor thing was just ridiculously lonely. The guy said he had “tried giving him my German Shepherd as a buddy, but they don’t get along.” No kidding, the dog was as big as the mini and nipped/bit him. The mini had actually dug under the guy’s (good!) fence until he could fit under it to escape. When the guy said, “I guess I’ll just have to tie a rope around his neck & tie him to the tree,” my trainer offered him $100 to get the little guy away from him. Ended up being a pretty good little driving pony.

[clanter]

@JBCool

The guy said he had "tried giving him my German Shepherd as a buddy, but they don’t get along.

maybe he should have tried a Golden Retriever my daughter’s golden loves to be with the horses, here she is hanging out with daughter’s horse

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[JBCool]

Love it, clanter!!!

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

My mom used to tell this story (I’ll probably screw up the telling, but I’ll give it a go):

When she was growing up, the family had a horse named King, a big white gelding my grandpa got from someone, for some reason. She and her sisters would ride double all the time, all over the farm, up and down the roads, even to school sometimes (rural OK in the 1940s and 50s).

One day, unbeknownst to them, Grandpa had put up a strand of hot wire to keep cattle off a section of acreage. Mom, and two of her sisters, were riding King triple; Mom had the reins, while Susie had her arms around Mom’s waist, and my other aunt Nancy had her arms around Susie’s waist. They came upon the hot wire. King reached out his nose.

The next thing they knew, all three of them were on the ground. Mom still had her hands around invisible reins; Susie still had her arms around Mom’s waist, and Nancy still had her arms around Susie’s waist.

Apparently, it was a day or two before King came home.

[clanter]

@JBCool

Love it, clanter!!!

she started at a young age, daughter was working at a Clydesdale farm, Sucha was a pup then

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[clanter]

now Horse Stories… the buckskin in the photo above would do anything my daughter asked… he even jumped up on a picnic table with her, but that wasn’t what she wanted he just thought that was what she wanted

They were returning from the stadium jumping (or maybe it was the dressage phase?) of a there day when she eyes this WPA concrete picnic table that she wanted Mulligan to take a close look at (after-all he was her competitive trail mount and they always had unusual things on the trails) … he stopped short, she cued him forward- he thought oh you want me up there OK… he was on the ground then he was standing on top of the picnic table with daughter still in the saddle… I was watching I never saw him move a muscle… and there they were looking like a statue of some war general on his mount.

To get down, release reins, cue forward, he looks at stepping down on the concrete bench but decides to just step to the ground. Table was about 42 inches high

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then there is this that has no story or explanation except it was not hurt and it took bolt cutters to remove the bucket [ATTACH=JSON]{“alt”:“Click image for larger version Name: Pony in bucket2.jpg Views: 6 Size: 20.0 KB ID: 10577842”,“data-align”:“none”,“data-attachmentid”:“10577842”,“data-size”:“full”}[/ATTACH]

[blue_amp_blond]

My first BLM Mustang Rusty. I have multiple funny stories but here are two.

Before we were able to put up additional fencing, our horses could walk up to the driveway where we parked our cars. (Property was fully fenced.)

Rusty knew when I opened the trunk I was probably unloading groceries. More than once I’d come out to the car with him rummaging through the grocery bags.

One day he was pretty far away although he looked and watched me unload grocery bags, he didn’t come over to the car. I thought it was safe. I grabbed a few bags and ran in , set them down and ran out – JUST in time to see Rusty face diving into my trunk. I ran towards him yelling, just as he grabbed whatever he could and then he took off running. Turns out it was a loaf of bread.

I was SO MAD, absolutely LIVID at him. I ran after him like a crazy woman – screaming and yelling “RUSTY!!! DROP IT!!! RUSTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” By now he’s running from me out of fear and I’m sure he forgot he had the loaf of bread in his mouth. I must have been so loud and I’m sure sounded crazy, my neighbor above me came outside to see…crazy woman chasing scared horse with a load of bread in his mouth. Yeah, I still laugh about it to this day.

Rusty again. Again – before we had proper fencing, we had a small fence separating the horses from the swimming pool. Maybe 3 ½ feet tall. The pool had lovely grass all around it. Rusty would jump the fence to eat the grass but ONLY when we were nowhere in sight. If he heard us coming to the side of the house where the pool was, he’s jump out. Then wait……and if he didn’t hear us, he’d jump the fence again back into the pool area. If we snuck up on him all we’d have to do to get him out is yell his name and out he’d go. Thank God he never fell into the pool.

[walktrot]

My beloved Paint gelding is spooky. He’s “outgrown” most of it, and my seat eventually got good enough to stick with him. But early in our life together I spent a lot time flying through the air hoping the landing wouldn’t be too hard. I actually trained myself to readjust my body so l land on the left side of my butt.

It was noises that got him. The indoor and barn are separated by a wall. When we first moved into the building I rode in constant fear that someone would bang into something. He would jumped right out from under me. Dozens of falls later I realized that if you are gripping with your knees when your horse spooks, you pop off straight into the air like a spring-clip clothespin on a giant wad of wet laundry on the clothesline. Most of you are probably too young to know about clotheslines.

I did a lot of reading and watching and thinking and I decided on John Lyons training (avoiding Parelli among others). I signed up for a private session with a JL Certified Trainer I had seen previously. The last thing on the list was the spookiness. It was still noises, particularly the sound of rustling leaves. We headed for the edge of the woods and she sent her mother about 10 feet in, got on my horse, and told her mother to rustle the leaves.

Then she was sitting on the ground. My horse was quietly standing with that “what are you doing down there?” look on his face. She yelled at her mother to stop with the leaves. She’s a really good rider and we had a laugh that he had launched her before she knew the leaves were rustling. She sent mom about 20 feet farther into the woods, told her to quiet down some, and we continued.

I learned a lot that day but those leaves…

One day we were attacked by a carnivorous chipmunk. We were taking a woodsy path to the back hayfield. The damn thing exploded out from under a pile of leaves, rustling them with every step. It was headed straight for us - I bet it was probably 8" long from the nose to the tip of the tail. I could feel my precious gelding’s feet dancing around under me. He was set to do a 180 and gallop mindlessly back to the barn. I stuck with him, though, and we managed to avoid the deadly clutches of a marauding rodent.

The odd thing is everyone tells me that it sounded like a regular cute little chipmunk, not the kind that eats horses.

[rockymouse]

I was riding with my son, who was maybe 12, around the neighborhood. We were talking and moseying along when suddenly, faster than you can blink, my mare and I were somehow about 30 feet away. The mare was trembling all over - I could feel her heart beating through the saddle. We had teleported, truly. She was terrified and staring intensely at… a 10 week old beagle puppy looking at us from its yard.

Son and I laughed. To this day, some years later, if we drive past that place and the now-aged, now-potbellied and gray-faced dog is outside, my family says to each other in a spooky whisper “watch out! it’s a beagle!”

[quietann]

Mine are mostly off the long list of things my mare has spooked at. She’s actually an alert but generally safe horse, if you can sit a violent spook that’s over in 2 seconds. I’m not a great rider, sort of a permanent advanced beginner, but somehow I have learned to sit her spook.

I wasn’t riding her at the time, but she once spooked at a butterfly landing on her nose! And then shied every time her rider directed her to the place where it happened.

I have fallen off once in 12 years,. She’s not the sort of horse who tries to dump you. What happened was, we encountered some sheep, she was not amused at all. Then one of them moved and she decided that it was time to flee. I would have stayed on, but she backed into an electric fence and understandably exploded and off I went. I got up right away and grabbed the reins but she wasn’t going anywhere without me. That episode affected her confidence way more than it affected mine.

She herds the Canada geese when they are in a field near her barn. I just point her at them, drop the reins, and she goes to work.

Then there was the dressage show where there were Monsters at E. And another where the letters for the large arena had been laid on their sides, and that was just too much for her. And the Linda Zang clinic where she started by balking and spinning and otherwise having a tantrum, and at the end gave me my first ever counter canter.

And… I was in my old barn’s quadrille for a while. Mare didn’t like it much as she has a big personal space bubble. So we were all trotting across the diagonal, and she did a very powerful trot lengthening with no cue from me. Just powered right off and showed her stuff.

Etc. Etc.

[quietann]

@quietann

Mine are mostly off the long list of things my mare has spooked at. She’s actually an alert but generally safe horse, if you can sit a violent spook that’s over in 2 seconds. I’m not a great rider, sort of a permanent advanced beginner, but somehow I have learned to sit her spook.

I wasn’t riding her at the time, but she once spooked at a butterfly landing on her nose! And then shied every time her rider directed her to the place where it happened.

I have fallen off once in 12 years,. She’s not the sort of horse who tries to dump you. What happened was, we encountered some sheep, she was not amused at all. Then one of them moved and she decided that it was time to flee. I would have stayed on, but she backed into an electric fence and understandably exploded and off I went. I got up right away and grabbed the reins but she wasn’t going anywhere without me. That episode affected her confidence way more than it affected mine.

She herds the Canada geese when they are in a field near her barn. I just point her at them, drop the reins, and she goes to work.

Then there was the dressage show where there were Monsters at E. And another where the letters for the large arena had been laid on their sides, and that was just too much for her. And the Linda Zang clinic where she started by balking and spinning and otherwise having a tantrum, and at the end gave me my first ever counter canter.

And… I was in my old barn’s quadrille for a while. Mare didn’t like it much as she has a big personal space bubble. So we were all trotting across the diagonal, and she did a very powerful trot lengthening with no cue from me. Just powered right off and showed her stuff.

Etc. Etc.