So, just for fun, who wants to relate their funny scribe stories? Looking for stories from the POV of the judge/scribe.
I was scribing one Saturday last year (do not remember the judge) and in a Third Level class of about a dozen rides not one had even a single flying change. I told the judge that I could do that, NOT get a change. Her response was, āplease donāt, this is so sadāā¦
Later that day (with the same judge) a child came in on her pony for a Training Level test. It was a lovely test. The judge was SO happy and commented that there should be bonus points given as the pair was so cute. The whole day was so pleasant, I learned a lot and it also reinforced that judges WANT to give good scores.
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Eons ago, I scribed over a weekend for a very well-known judge. We sponsored a social hour one evening with the judge and they pontificated about a number of things. One topic was horse breeds suitable for the show (dressage) ring. The judge mentioned one breed they felt did not belong in dressage competitions. I didnāt have the guts to tell the judge that the horse they had placed first (with high scores) in a few classes was that breed.
At another show, I scribed for a judge who filled me in on some pretty juicy gossip about the dressage world. Very entertaining.
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I was scribing for a judge whose native language was Spanish. The test had a halt at I , but the rider halted at the wrong place, maybe X or G. The judge rang the rider off course, and stood and said, āThe halt is at E.āĀ The poor rider was hopelessly confused, because she at least knew the halt was on the centerline. I donāt speak Spanish, but was aware that vowels are pronounced differently, so quietly said āYou mean IāĀ to the judge. In FEI competition, English is the language used, regardless of the locale, so of course the judge understood her slip. Nevertheless, her native language took over again, and she repeated to the rider, āThe halt is at EāĀ. I said, again, āIāĀ. The second time, she told the rider, āThe halt is at IāĀ.
I just talked too much the first time scribing. As a rule, I donāt talk much at all. But I. Was. So. Excited! 
Been there. Haha
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I was at the end of a very bad cold, still in the ācoughing up a lungāĀ stage, but not coughing often. So I brought a bag full of cough syrup, tissues, and hand sanitizer, and I wore a surgical mask while scribing, to protect the judge (which she appreciated, and this was long before COVID). Anyway, the mask kind of surprised some of the riders, evidenced by the startled look on their faces when they passed the judgeās box. One rider suggested I draw a smile on it, to not look so scary. So I did! After that, the riders would giggle as they went by, which probably helped them relax before their test.
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I scribed for Michael Osinski and was very amused by his voice tone. He speaks like an announcer; clear, low pitch, slowly, monotone/not much expression in the tone, and lots of pauses.
Heās very interesting and funny. I would scribe again with him in a heart beat.
(https://youtu.be/JvqQ-xzZYtI Thatās him with Janet Foy talking about changes in judging dressage. Heās not really talking like he was while judging, but it gives an idea.)
I scribed for Bo JenĆĀ„, Sweden, while he was shadowing another judge. The other judge couldnāt believe I was able to follow through with the scores and comments as his English was not always syntaxically correct - but as a French speaker the word order was right! So I managed Ahahaa!
He was also going from one movement to another, and from scores to comments not always in relation to the order on the sheetā¦ (He was happily surprised himself as I wasnāt bothered at all with the fact that he was also talking to the other judgeā¦) Not for the faint of heart, but Iāve learned a lot.
Unrelated to judging - because clearly my job description as a scribe involved entertaining guest judges! (I had scribed for these judges many times prior - these are not the usual and Iām still very professional about it.
(I wonāt name all names, for privacy purpose.)
I did a shopping spree in outlets with one. I got a present.
The amazing Mark Wentein, FEI driving judge, had us dance in the booth on pop music in between ĆĀ« rides ĆĀ»(?). If anyone has the chance to meet him, do so.
And I had a very funny dinner night with 3 judges after a long day. It involves an antique bathtub in an old house that serves as restaurant. We have pictures to tell the tale! Nothing nefarious, just being silly.
The Sunday morning was harsh. ahahaha
They are lovely ladies and I wish to scribe for them again in the near future.
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When I rode, I scribed our local schooling shows quite often (as usually either I, or the horse, were on the injured list).
They were always kind - you could hear them muttering under their breath little things like āCome on, come on, TROT!ā or āHalt, halt, halt, halt . . . that was supposed to be a halt . . .ā or more rarely, ācome on, get it . . . YES! Perfect!ā
Often theyād dither for what felt like forever between scores, wanting to give a movement what it really deserved, but also wanting to encourage the riders, who were mostly juniors and adult amateurs. Sometimes theyād look at me and ask āWhat do you think that deserved?ā Iād tell them what I thought, and weād discuss.
I did get completely ripped a new one by a judge once, though - not as a scribe, but as a rider. I was riding a tank of a half draft with no respect and no mouth, coming up center line for our last halt at X. He was blowing through every half-halt I was giving him; I had the reins cranked as hard as I could, truthfully wasnāt sure he was going to halt at the judgeās box, let alone X - and didnāt realize that the litany of swear words I heard in my mind was actually coming out of my mouth. I knew the judge - Iād scribed with her before and taken lessons with her - and she actually marched out of the box, across the arena, grabbed the horseās bridle, looked at me, and said, āWhen youāre in this arena, your ass is MINE. NO TALKING!ā
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Many years ago, my first time scribing, one of the horses started being really naughty in the ring. I was horrified and sat there transfixed with my mouth open. I totally forgot I was supposed to be writing. Thank goodness the judge was very experienced and kind. I learned to keep my head down and focus on the job after that.
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Another time, judging at a small schooling show, my scribeās phone started ringing in the middle of a test. She was so shocked she jumped up and ran off to answer it. I think neither of us will ever forget to silence our phones again.
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This one is a classic. It goes back three decades and was included in a story I wrote for the Chronicle in the early '90s. Print doesnāt do it justice, though. It should be related in the dulcet accent of that judge:
"The rider made a wet-spaghetti line after the first halt, and I told the scribe: āWandering X to C.ā She then asked me: āIs ecstacy spelled EXT or ECT?ā "
(If you donāt get it, read it out loud.)
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Not Dressage, but I once scribed (schooling show) for a H/J judge.
He told me to abbreviate the following on the scoresheets:
WGD = Worldās Greatest Distance
PEA = Pommel Extractor to the Arena
& you have to be a certain age to get this one:
MST = Melanie Smith Turn
I did as told until the break.
Then told Show Mgr I couldnāt finish.
I did not want to be the one who had to explain that shorthand to riders :no:
Story told to me by a judge I was scribing for -
Judge was confronted exiting the toilets by the husband of a rider ( FEI level class). He was very irate about what she said about his wife in the test comments. After some tense moments, it was determined that the intended comment of ābusy handsāĀ had been written in loose script by the scribe and interpreted by the rider/husband as ālousy handsāĀ!!
I donāt scribe much as I find it fairly stressful. On one occasion, I was scribing for a judge who had a bit of a reputation for being ādifficultā - which IMO is extremely rare in dressage judges - and I was so warned by the show organiser. I met him beside the car we were to use with a polite greeting and he just ignored me. I did get a smile from his companion, a trainee judge learning by watching. All three of us climb into the vehicle. He still hasnāt said a word to me. Rude man. First competitor, Iām busy writing and it goes wrong! I apologise and get a bad tempered grunt. Second rider, comments are out of sync. I tell him and apologise, again, and get a kind of growl. Third rider, OMG Iām wrong again!! The judge is highly competent and could hold the tests in his mind so he grabbed the sheet and scribbled over it to correct my mistake. Fourth rider: Iām sweating. And I went wrong again. Sorry!!! At this point the trainee judge leaned in between the front seats and said āUm, by the way, this test has been modified recentlyā and pointed out the new scoring where two movements had been combined. Ah, no wonder I was going wrong: his fault, not mine. Thank heavens! The judge didnāt say a dickybird. Come the end of the session, he got out of the vehicle, still without a word, let alone an apology to me or the trainee, slammed the door shut and stalked off. The organiser and I had a giggle together about how utterly awful he had been. Iāve never forgotten the experience.
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I did a lot of scribing over a number of years. I was scribing for a judge that I knew many scribes didnāt like to work with because she could be sarcastic about the riders. I actually found her to be funny - when she made her first caustic comment I laughed (not at the rider, please donāt flame me) and we got on well. I found her to be very fair in her scoring and when she made a comment it was in favour of the horse. We had a judge in training in the booth with us and we were having a fun day.
It was a bronze level show so rules were a bit relaxed.
During one test, the rider had someone who we assumed was her husband read for her. He mispronounced many of the dressage terms. When the test was over she commented what a good guy he was for doing that for her.
In another, lower level test we had a friesen. His legs looked strange, kind of lumpy and we were trying to figure out what was wrong - then we realized no one had removed his black polos. She hadnāt rung the bell (or blew the whistle, whatever) yet, so she kindly called out to the young competitor and told her to remove the wraps.
@Rerider54 - that was my overall impression. The judges really do want riders to succeed, they want to be fair, they want the sport to be successful.
If anyone is new to the sport and hasnāt scribed - I highly recommend it. Most judges are generous with telling you what they are seeing and why they are marking things a certain way. Some will welcome questions if time allows, others donāt. They spend a lot of time in the box too, and would rather have a fun companion than a cranky one.
I did scribe for one judge that was horrid. I knew others had refused to scribe for her. I have scribed a lot including an international competition and most judges have commented on how good a job I do. One of the tests was a freestyle. I had not scribed many and it seemed that each judge had their own way of marking. So I asked her how she would like me to scribe. She made a big theatrical sigh and commented how she was always getting the inexperienced scribes. I bit my tongue - I wanted to say that is because no one else will scribe for you. Really, there is no reason to be nasty. We are volunteers and doing our best.
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Scribing back in Arizona for an upper level test and Big Name Dressage Rider begins trotting around the ringā¦ with wraps still on the horseās legs. Judge finishes remarks on the previous test and picks up the bell as she looks up. My eyes go wide and I glance at the judge, who has noticed. Judge has a coughing fit and puts the bell back down without ringing it. Rider looks concerned. Groom waves frantically and runs towards horse. Rider figures out what is going on, jumps off and flings wraps off the near side while groom does the other. Gets a leg back up. Judge recovers and rings the bell.
Iām not clear on the unauthorized assistance rules for dressage, and it was a long time ago anyway. Perhaps it would have caused too much controversy for her to have outright told the rider about it, and she did the best she could.
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I heard this story. A judge commented off the record to the scribe that a horse and itās rider each needed to lose 100 pounds ā¦ And the remark was picked up On the video the husband was shooting from the arena corner. Very embarrassing ā¦ But it did motivate the rider to lose a lot of weight over the next months.
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Not to be a jerk or anything, is that something people hear frequently? There are more than a few people I wish would be told thisā¦LOL!
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Who do you think you are?
Jerk.
You think this is funny? Get a life and stop finding faults in others, there are enough in you.
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