Funny Things Your BO/BM/Trainer Says

[DoomPony]

Just a fun game!

An ex trainer of mine, while we were thinking up a show name for a school horse “You’re good at this whole name thing! All of my guinea pigs were Piggy!”

Both the BO and BM at our barn will say “Leo (my horse), this isn’t Burger King! You can’t have it your way!”

And one I found on a list of barn rules for a barn I visit “Complaining to me about others should be your last resort because I hate politics, dislike being a referee, and will resort to public humiliation of both parties involved, followed by tar and feathering…”

[right_horse_at_the_right_time]

My trainer is the BEST at putting things diplomatically. I’ve never been yelled at by my trainer. This method works far better than yelling.

One example, at our last show:

“You have two choices. You can have him in front of your leg, or you can work harder and it won’t be as pretty. It is your choice.”

I chose the “work harder and not as pretty.” I won’t do that again. But I owned it, and we both understood why I did what I did. The judge certainly noticed.

Among others: “He doesn’t care about that (hot air balloon flying perilously close, horse galloping in nearby field, rabbit, dump truck, etc.). You’re spookier than he is (true).”

[DoomPony]

[QUOTE=right horse at the right time;7553664]
Among others: “He doesn’t care about that (hot air balloon flying perilously close, horse galloping in nearby field, rabbit, dump truck, etc.). You’re spookier than he is (true).”[/QUOTE]

I get that one probably twice or three times every ride!

[EventingDreaming]

When someone apologizes for board being late “I don’t care, I have your horse.” :lol:

[UrbanHennery]

“Don’t let him come out of that rollback like a fart in a skillet!” (Yeah, working on that)

“What feels wrong with that?” (Oh let me count the possibilities)

“Stop humping that saddle like a monkey! Slow your hips down!”

“stop thinking so much! Feel. Your. Horse.”

[RockstarPony]

I’ve been riding a pony for my trainer for about three months now; a couple weeks ago she finally looked at me at the end of the lesson and went “well… I’m optimistic.”

[Chachie]

lol my DD’s trainer years ago was teaching her how to bend into a 2 point. My poor DD. She was such a shy wallflower then and anything anyone said about her body made her embarrassed, even though she had nice curves at 15.
Well the trainer was having a hard time getting DD not to roll forward and was trying to convince her to flatten her back more.
So she yelled ,“TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!”
DD looked awfully confused and asked trainer “what headlights?”
The trainer was a goofball and grabbed her own boobs and said ,“these headlights! Turn them on so you can see!”
DD turned bright red but she lifted her shoulders and flattened her back lol

Same trainer, different lesson, still learning a 2 point. This time DD wasn’t coming out of the saddle enough so trainer told her to “stick out that J-Lo booty of yours!”
I thought DD was going to bury herself in the sand but she got and to this day, whenever she sees me rolling my shoulders (guess it’s hereditary!) she tells me to “turn on my headlights”

[HRF_Second_Chance]

Oh mine has given me plenty!

“GOD D@MN IT! JUST! JUST! JUST DON’T!” If I couldn’t I just wouldn’t already and wouldn’t need you now would I?

“He has eyes you know. Let him use them.” Yeah I’ve got eyes too and I can see that if I don’t nitpick this distance to nothing we’ll never make it. Oh wait, let him go and he finds it. FASCINATING.

And my all time favorite for so many reasons.

‘BEND OVER!’

[littlecreek]

“Shorten up those lunge lines!” as I have problems keeping my reins a suitable short length.
“This animal thinks he’s being punished for something he did in a previous life!” for when I manage to pick to nothing then crawl up his neck.

[ByTheBook]

DH told me that he knew I was starting to figure out my new trainer when Trainer stopped saying “What the f$&k are you doing up there?” every single ride.

[charismaryllis]

various comments about ducks, when we start roaching our backs in 2 point… :uhoh:

[trivial]

Several times I’ve heard “Stop arching your back like a ten-cent whore!”

Yeah, I may have trouble with tightness in my lower back…

[goldponies]

Show/push out your Victoria Secrets & think of a cat in heat when you jump. LOL

[Gidget]

In reference to my “wildly independent seat” during the canter:

“THERE’S TOO MUCH HUMPING GOING ON!”

It was late in in the day and there were NO kids around. :lol:

[222orchids]

By a trainer friend of mine (not my trainer) when telling her students to roll back their shoulders and lead with the chest: “Put your goods in the window!!”

[rizzodm]

I saw this hanging in a barn. Due to the number of complaints about free services we will no longer be offering free services.

[RedmondDressage]

“Quit being a victim up there!”

Cracks me up every time :lol:

One from the other day referring to competing… More wise than funny, but good nonetheless:

“If you’re out-horsed, you’re out-horsed - there’s no shame in not having as much money as someone else. You still go out there and ride to win.”

[molly8it]

After a particularly messy and disorganized trip through a course during a lesson, trainer said “Do you know when someone does something really hard, but makes it look easy? That’s not what you did there.”

[BrokenArrow]

My husband jumping instructor couldn’t get him to not be so stiff in 2 point position. She finally just yelled “Stick out your ducks bum and show me some fairy wings!”

I laughed hysterically for a good 5 minutes. But it worked.

He posted a video of him falling off on Facebook. The first comment to hers was “Oh no you broke your fairy wings and landed on your ducks bum!”

[cada931]

Trainer’s comment on hands that made pony’s head move side-to-side…“No Stevie Wonder pony!”

Probably completely inappropriate. An image and line that I will never forget.