Lately, I’ve heard “Ride like a lady, not a truck driver.” --Jess
My trainer’s been way too amusing lately. These are from the show we went to yesterday:
“Well, I THOUGHT he was going to be an idiot.”
“I think we need to remind your horse that his mouth is supposed to be SOFT tissue.”
“Sorry. I just didn’t pay the judge enough for that class too.”
“It’s amazing how we always show right before my car payment is due.”
I love this topic and my coach has some great sayings…
She has a special “code name” for the single oxer on a hunter course…the “F.I.” because it makes the F**** Idiot want to kick and pull…
It’s quite funny when we are learning our courses “Outisde line, diagonal line, outside line, FI…”
“ADD SOME PUNCH TO YOUR STEP!!!”
“BOUNCY CANTER BOUNCY!!!”
and i love when i do something really well “PUUUUURRRRRRRRRRFECT!”
STAY ON !!!
like i am trying to fall off 
what else am i trying to do??
~Blaze~
never send a horse to do a pony’s job
member of the PC clique
This is more like a funny action or something:
I was having a lesson with another girl who kept saying “I can’t I can’t I can’t.” A friend of ours was watching the lesson next to my trainer and started reminding my trainer that she does the same thing and that it’s ok (or something like that. I can’t quite remember). So, my trainer got a little annoyed and said to me, “Kate, come here.” So I walked over to the jump she was standing on and she said, “No, pull up next to it.” So I, unsuspectingly, did. She jumped on my horse right behind me, grabbed the reins and proceeded to walk the three of us out of the ring and towards the barn, leaving the two “I can’t-ers” in the ring wondering. Of course we turned around and went back to the ring in the end.
That has got to be my all-time favorite lesson. It was hilarious.
“Look Mommy! It’s a whale!” “No dear, that’s your father.”
Haha, there are lots! 
-“Get your pace in the corner and STAY ON THAT PACE!”
-“Sarah, sweetheart, WHY are you RUNNING TO THE CHIP?!?! Don’t do that!!”
-“Ya know, you do that on your other horse too. Maybe that’s a clue to change something”. 
-“Wait…wait…WAIT…Didn’t you hear me saying WAIT?!”
-“You’re draining the life out of me!” (The new favorite after last weekend )
-“Fix it to begin with” (when I explain why I added up the line after I chipped in instead of gunning her up the line so she stops b/c it would be too long. Well, DUH, I KNOW I have to fix the first jump, but this was my “alternative” plan. 
)
“Stop running at the jumps!!!”
I’m sure there are more… 
~Sarah~
~Southern Comfort~Diablo Blanco~
Adult Amatuer Student on stopping egg sucking common dog of a horse named Manual Transmission
Trainer calmly walking over to fence standard and retrieving on very large crop after countless stops and involuntary dismounts–walks up and says “here’s your clutch!”
Proud Member of Wood Hill Farm who’s motto is “I’m not going sober!”
How about:
“Okay, now do that again so I know it wasn’t just a mistake.” (said when I finally do something right!)
“This is not a vacation, it’s a quest: a quest for fun.”
My trainer said the funniest thing ever yesterday in my lesson. We were talking about a girl that we love (truly love, she’s a good kid ) who was “in crisis”. No one told us what the crisis was about, so my trainer says:
“That girl can never be in crisis. If she were 15 years old and pregnant to a Spanish pimp, that would be crisis!”
[I]- “Don’t look at your horse…I’ll tell you if you fall off.”
- “The base of the jump is your friend and the way you ride you can never have enough friends.”
[/I]
in the schooling ring to “guard your oxers and shield your verticals…”
WHAT THE HE** does that mean? My Mom and I just looked at each other like huh? I asked Mom what that meant and she looked at me and said I have NO idea!! It was HILARIOUS!!
mizzwade
ones I have heard trainers say to their students and I believe a few of them have come my way over the years:
-
(When rider is looking down): Are there fleas breeding in that mane?
-
I am for thinking you need a reservation made for you at the Hotel of Gray Matter.
-
Such a Sorry Sack of Siberian Sheep S***…
I am sure there have been many other things said such as the hilarious ones I have read; alas I cannot think of them right at this moment…
My trainer who is generally VERY polite and reserved said once in a lesson, “Well, he’s been scarred for life” 
And walked away Now mind you, we had been schooling tirelessly over a liverpool and yes, he was frazzled when I finallygot him over, but sheesh.
Coincedently, he coliced (sp) later that afternoon. Stress colic perhaps Guess you had to be there, but I still laugh when I think about the whole situation. Oh, the colic was very minor, no vet needed, just walking it out. I don’t want anyone to think I am a masochist.
Proud Member of the AQHA Clique!
Not so proud member of the E-bay Addiction Clique…
. . . that was a gift!!!(really bad fence)
. . . that was another gift!!!
. . . that was another gift!!!
. . . you used up ALL your gifts!!!(when horse stopped or rider fell off)
~Blaze~
never send a horse to do a pony’d job
member of the PC clique
During today’s jumping lesson, my trainer sets up a small course and says, "I want you to jump the lattice to the liverpool in a broken line on the right lead…get your lead change in the corner, proceed on the left lead to the white plank fence, cirle to the rollback, get your lead change, circle and turn down quarterline to the “wall” fence…then end with a “ending circle, OK??”
Well, you would think those were pretty specific directions, right? Well, I must have been on a different planet because I went sooo off course that my trainer states, “Do you drive like that??..If we are ever driving together, make sure I know the way, OK??”
Needless to say, I got it right the second time!
“Don’t look where you don’t want to go.” (Said during my first lesson on a jumper)
Me: “I rode like a crackhead.”
Trainer: “No, because if you rode like a crackhead you would have been going fast.”
Me: “Ok, so I rode like a pothead.”
Trainer: “Sure.”
Those are just two of the good ones.
-Jackie-
“I’m finding my way back to sanity again, though I don’t really know what I’m going to do when I get there.”
http://jax.0catch.com
My trainer will call out in real loud, high voice across the ring if she thinks I’m not paying attention “YooHoo!” which she knows embarasses me to no end so it behooves me to always be paying attention. Last year at High Prarie our word of the day was “Get your freak on!” from the Missy elliot song that we heard on the radio and she would tell me to go in the ring and get my freak on! My mare liked it and did better when we played that song for her and told her to get her freak on at the ingate. HAHA>.
“Your fingers are like your mouth: always open.”
“Why can’t your mouth be more like your hands?” after having commented on how quiet my hands were.
“Be proud of what you’ve got!” meaning my shoulders were rounded, stick my chest out.
“Are you a duck? Do you enjoy wrenching your ankle on every fencepost you pass?”
~NOBODY tosses a dwarf! Gimli, son of Gloin~
“I want you to massage the reins…so open your fingers, and close your fingers, like you’re squeezing a sponge.” “How do I do that without dropping the reins?” “Hmmm…actually…I don’t really know.”
~MP
I’m nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect
*Just don’t think too much…when you think you mess up ( I tend to overanalyze my courses)
*Ride stupid (this one became quite famouse for a while…it got to be a joke)
*That was the stupidest thing you have ever done! (when I practically killed myself on a green horse over a 2 ft jump…long…short…long…short…leavvvvvvvvvvvve!)
HEHE! Those are just a few- I’ll have to think of some more! 
Sarah Beth
“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.”
-Calvin and Hobbes
