Hello everyone, just wondering if anyone has any ideas/advice please. I started riding out with a friend who has a rising four year old mare and my nearly eight year old gelding. My gelding has met her mare a handful of times on rides and most of the time he has his ears flat back at her, snaking his neck down to the ground and trying to follow her in a menacing way. I’ve owned him five years and he’s never displayed this behaviour towards the other geldings and one old mare that he lives with (he is the heard leader but isn’t aggressive and I can ride him out safely with them with no aggressive behaviour) he is easy to handle and ride, good towards people all the time but around her, no amount of backing him up/groundwork helps and he only calms down when he’s Infront usually. With horses he lives with, he will happily go Infront or behind and at the few shows we’ve been to his behaviour was perfect around strange horses. Even in the months my friends Mare isn’t in season (I believe) he’s behaved the same. It’s definitely taken me by surprise as he’s usually mild mannered and it’s quite intimidating to see to be honest as it’s so menacing. I have suggested turning them out together to get to know each other as horses naturally would but I understand that’s risky and she is worried to do that understandably. Just wondering if anyone has any ideas please? He isn’t “flirty” around her, he looks absolutely angry. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I couldn’t ride with them again, but keen to know why he’s behaving like this with her and no other horse. Out of my depth with this. Thank you in advance x
I absolutely wouldn’t turn out the gelding with the mare. They aren’t dogs. Even with dogs I wouldn’t take a dominate personality displaying aggressive behavior, lock it up with another dog, and tell them to figure it out.
I don’t give a rip about what a horse does with their ears towards another horse under saddle. They can have feelings and emotions. However, there should be clear expectations of the horse that the positioning of their body, direction, and speed are under guidance of the rider. Allowing him to snake his neck means that you are giving him way too much decision making in this situation and I wouldn’t ride with this mare again without professional help on the ground. If he decides to try and take a chunk out of her or lands a kick it could be incredibly dangerous for both horse and rider. If you’re determine to ride together please be alert 100% of the ride and don’t tootle around on the buckle. He can be “fine” and in a split second land a blow if he decides to do so. He should never ever be given enough of his neck around this horse that he has the option of snaking his neck.
Thank you, I should have said, I have actually stopped riding with her recently, until we figure this out, if we ever do. But your absolutely right and actually yes I was giving him too much rein and in doing so allowing it to happen. Yes it’s probably the worst idea to turn them out together, considering his feelings towards her!
Very helpful, thank you
May I ask, do you think it’s likely because shes a young mare or him just wanting to establish leadership? Thank you
It does not matter what it is. He’d get his royal a$$ beat if he was mine, doing that behavior under saddle.
Find an arena where the 2 of you can ride together. When he pins his ears, you get after him, and make it count - do not be a wuss. Same thing under saddle. You ride at one end, friend at the other, gradually as he can exhibit good manners and control u/s you bring them closer together. And you work at it until he learns that you DO NOT exhibit aggression towards other horses when you are under human control - be it lead line or saddle.
The gelding is asserting dominance over the mare, or attempting to. This can escalate if you allow it to. You must be dominant over your horse, otherwise HE’S the one in control of everything around you. While we like to have our horse make suggestions about how to best accomplish the work we do with him, it must be the rider, the human, who is the dominant member of the partnership. Be that person.
Agree with @GraceLikeRain.
Your horse can be dangerous to both your friend & her mare.
Acting out by biting or kicking before you can stop him.
He’s told you he doesn’t like her, listen.
Gal I know had her leg broken riding out with a friend when friend’s horse kicked at hers & connected with her leg.
I was once bitten on my thigh by a mare my DH was riding. No harm aside from a horsemouth-shaped Technicolor bruise.
At the time I was maddest that she might have ruined the new breeches I was wearing 
When I first got my mare at 6 years old (and she’s now 25), she was a kicker, squealer, squirter (when in heat) when close to any other horse. I got a leather popper and after one good session, she stopped. Needed a reminder once in a while, even now, but it’s down to a thump with my heels and “no!”.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. Do what you want with your ears and make all the faces you want but anything else gets the wrath of god.
A leather popper bat is effective. Use on shoulder.
He’s certainly establishing leadership wrt to you & him. He’s in charge & you aren’t. This is one that I love about having an Amish broke horse - none of them play these games. It’s simply not tolerated. Heck, I get after my pony when he decides to be noisy when he’s working. Sorry buddy, but I don’t want to hear it.
