It was really bothering me, the comments people made regarding “ why didn’t the accuser come forward 51 yrs ago”.
So… I took some time to really put myself in this 13 yrs olds shoes. THIS IS Not an actual story… but something to think about…
Imagine being a 13 yr old kid from a small town, with a love of horses & wanting to be competitive. Your basically a nobody at this point… until the moment you get noticed at a GM clinic.
All of a sudden… you become a local “ hero” in a sense.
The other kids at your barn are thinking “Wow! If he got scouted by someone big… so could I! It gave other local kids a sense of hope.
Everyone is talking about it… it’s big news. The feed store, the local shows, the tack shop. “ did you hear…Jonny is going to hunterdon to live!” People are stopping your parents in the grocery store, asking about the exciting rumors of Olympic trainers. Your extended family, cousins, Grandparents, etc have all heard the news are everyone is equally excited.
You arrive at hunterdon & everyone is shaking your hand & excited to meet the new kid that “ George has talked so much about”. Your awestruck by the barn, horses, big atmosphere.
George can be mean & intimidating, but all is going well. George is calling your parents Periodically and keeping them “ in the loop about your studies & riding”. He’s telling them about new horses that are coming for you to show.
You Head to your first show. You’ve called your parents & your mom is so excited for you. In fact, her & Dad are coming to watch you! She also tells you that everyone at your old barn, says “ hi”.
At the show, people you don’t know, are talking to you, saying things like, “ your so lucky to be riding with George “.
“ so, your George’s new student, he thinks so highly of you”.
You go to dinner the first night at the show. Your with George & other big trainers & very wealthy clients. You quietly listen to their amazing stories of importing horses & winning.
That night George drives you back to the barn alone......you are doing night check. It’s dark, there is no one around. Then .......... your frozen in fear, your afraid to move, you are 13 , your heart is pounding, your mind is racing. You are terrified. Then HE says, “ Don’t EVER mention what just happened. NO One will ever believe you, anyway !”.
You are silent in the car as He takes you back to the hotel. You Go into your room. The other 2 grooms are already asleep. Your scared, feeling helpless, scared, dirty, afraid, Alone. You quietly slip into bed & cry .
In the morning... your still terrified... who do you tell? Should you tell? When should you tell? The grooms are rushing to get to the show... your body is moving, my mind is shut down. At the show you ride your morning list & as your riding you try to figure out a plan. Meanwhile people are riding up to you & talking. “ your lucky you get to ride this horse, he so nice”. “ what an amazing opportunity you have with George “. You are feeling sick to your stomach.
At this point... your class is about to start & George shows up as if nothing happened. He coaches you and as you walk out of the class...with your blue ribbon, you notice your parents. They are soooo excited to see you & that you won!
George comes over & shakes their hands & tells them what a great kid you are & how helpful you are & also that he has a few new horses arriving at the barn for you. They thank George Immensely For all he’s done for you.
So, now.....in your mind. If you tell them what happened last night. What will happen? Will they believe you? Will you have to go to a police station? Will cops show up to arrest George at the show? will the cops believe him or you? If they do arrest him.. will his clients be mad, cause now they don’t have their trainer? Will everyone at the show be upset? Rumors will fly. People will start talking, you will be labeled. Your parents will be disappointed. All the people from your hometown will wonder why your back home so soon. Then they will hear what happened.... people will talk.
Basically.... in a 13 yr old mind. Nothing good would come out of telling anyone. So, the secret had to be kept. The silence Of the secret had to be kept inside to slowly eat way at you. And the pain of it physically happening over & over.
Perhaps once, you even call your mom & tell her your home sick & need a break. That you want to come home. Maybe she tells you, “. You’ll be find, be tough, it’s normal for you to be homesick, you’ll get over it. You make us proud “.
You feel trapped. Drugs & alcohol come into play as you get older.