Getting back into riding with a new baby...how to do it?

[Vegas_Sky]

Hey everyone, I am in need of some advice on this topic and, while not a disability, I feel like this is the best place to ask. I may cross post in the eventing forum for some more insight.

Ever since my TBI on a cross country clues five years ago, riding has been very intermittent for me. I sold my horse after I got married and my husband joined the foreign service…now we move around every two years which makes finding places to ride difficult, and to top it all off, I now have a new baby girl who is three months old. It took us many moons to conceive this little girl, so we are beyond thrilled that she is finally here with us and is happy and healthy.

Now that she is no longer a newborn and I have energy to do more than feed her and change diapers, I really want to start riding again. But I have no idea how to make the logistics work. Normally I work at whatever farm in trade for lessons and riding, so I can’t really afford to just pay cash for lessons. I also stay home with little miss so we don’t have childcare and we can’t afford to pay for it while I’m riding (not to mention that is a lot of time to be away from my breastfed baby). My husband has a fairly unpredictable schedule for work, so having him watch the baby while I go ride also wouldn’t really work that well.

So do any of you have insight on how I could possibly make this work? I know a lot would depend on the specific place that I am riding, but I haven’t even found a place yet. Is it even possible to make this work with a baby, or am I going to have to wait until we can afford lessons or childcare or both?

[Snork]

I sympathize. I am a stay at home mom to two shorties.

Can you pull this off without extra funds or help? In a fairy tale world where you find someone who needs their horses ridden and another mom with a young baby who would be willing to trade off a babysitting time, yes, possibly. I’m sure you’ll hear stories like that but they are a vast, vast minority. In the real world, the long and short of it is that in order for you to ride, you will somehow have to find time away from your baby and money.

Time: you can’t watch a three-month old (or 9 month old, and most certainly not a 2 or 3 or 5 year old either) while you ride/groom/deal with a horse. It means you will need someone else to watch your baby and not just for the next few months - few years, at least. If your husband can’t do it, it will have to be someone else, and if you don’t have a family around who would be willing to watch the baby girl for you, it’s going to take either money or barter (which is more time). In the ideal world (see fairy tale scenario above), you could find another mom who wants to ride and has a baby and barter the babysitting time so that you both can ride. Barring that,it is paid sitters, which leads us to the second part of the equation: Money

It does not matter how you look at it, now when you have the baby, riding is going to cost money. In an ideal world (see fairy tale scenario above) you would find someone who would want you to ride their horses for free. Barring that you’d either have to work off your lessons/lease/however you get on a horse (so someone would have to watch your baby, which most likely means $-$$$ depending on whether there is a barn teenager around) or pay for the the lessons/leases/however you get on a horse, again $$$.

So, to sum it up - it can be done, if you find someone with horses they are willing to let you ride for free and someone who will watch your baby for free. Barring that, riding will have to be a budgeted expense.

[Reign]

Unfortunately, it sounds like you will need to be able to afford childcare in order to ride.

[Ambitious_Kate]

Reading the OP’s post, I am wondering what you mean, do I have to be able to afford childcare? You aren’t contemplating leaving the child in a stroller while you ride, are you? Either you find someone to do it for free (grandma) or you pay someone to watch the child while you ride.

In only about 2 years, the child will start pre-school, for at least half the day, or a play group at 2, then pre-school at 3, so you will have a few hours you can dedicate to running out to the barn and paying for lessons then. Unless you can afford daycare for 4 hours early in the morning or at the end of the day, every day, I can’t imagine you going to work at a barn to pay for lessons. If you could do that, you could just take the money you spend on child care to clean someone’s barn and use that towards lessons.

[talkofthetown]

Ambitious Kate,

Around here (not sure if it varies by state) you have to pay for that preschool. Free school doesn’t start till Kindergarten.

OP, do you have some sort of skill/trade that you could trade for babysitting? Like, clean someone’s house on day a week in exchange for them babysitting during ride times. Are you part of a church family? Lots of churches offer occasional free babysitting nights, usually to get community service hours or as a fundraiser for some trip or project.

[Copesmommy]

I am pretty much in the same boat. I have my mom watch my 4 month old when i work 2 hours in the morning on Tues Wednesday and Thursdays already, so asking her to watch Maven even more when i would like to ride (haven’t even got to ride yet) just makes me feel so guilty and so responsible for my actions. She says she doesnt mind, but theoretically I’d like to get them rode 3 to 5 days a weeks but i cant even stand the thought of me asking my mom to wat h Maven that much. How can i make this work?! I should also mention, i WILL not put her i daycare considering its too expensive and i would feel so frightened leaving her with strangers all week.

[glitterless]

I used to trade off babysitting with a friend. It worked well for both of us and our kids have stayed friends as they’ve gotten older. If you don’t have any mom friends, maybe look into local Facebook groups for moms or in-person play groups. It really was a lifesaver for me and helps keep costs down.