Getting over a mental block: Answer found, post 12

[burnedout]

The main question is this…What has worked for you to overcome a mental block with riding or otherwise?

Here’s my situation:
I need help! I do not want to be one of the many middle aged women who stop jumping and go to straight dressage. I love to jump! However, something has happened to me mentally since I got my new horse last year. When I first got him, we were jumping 3ft+ jumps and now I look at starter fences and feel like I am going to puke if I have to point him at them! He is one of the most honest horses I’ve ever sat on, but there is something awkward about his jump that has just thrown my confidence out the window. I’ve jumped a lot of horses in my life, but never one that has made me feel so much like a drunken monkey. I’ve tried to pin point what my fear actually is and it seems to be that I mostly dread the uncomfortable feeling of not being with him. Almost like I think I’ll be so out of sync that I’ll bounce right off. I’ve had some good rides on him, but there have been more uncomfortable ones than the ones that feel effortless. I used to jump several horses a day and now that he is the main one I ride, I’m nervous jumping others as well. I’ve worked with a couple of trainers to help, but for whatever reason, the one at my barn does not seem to be helping much. I don’t think she has confidence in me so then I doubt myself even more. I have hauled to others who have been better for me and I plan to do more of that. Changing barns now is not an option. I’ve read all the books on sport psychology and riding. They make sense, but I can’t seem to get the exercises to break through this block. I’m also open to selling this horse if he doesn’t work out, but I’d like to give him a chance through our winter in Aiken where we will have daily help.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has suffered a severe block. Please share what really worked for you!

[Hilary]

Well you are on the right track trying to figure out what it is that is making you uneasy, but maybe you need to break it down even more. Do you fear falling off because you are out of sync? Causing him to stop or do something bad?

One clinic I did had riders try to ‘ride ugly’, and another to ‘ride that jump badly’. In both cases we all flopped around with loose reins, did the opposite of what we usually do, and it had 2 effects. 1, the horses for the most part jumped beautifully. 2, we all stayed on and had positive experiences with a contrived bad situation.

Might that help you realize that you can stay on, that he’ll still be fine?

The other thought is that your saddle and stirrup length don’t jive with how he jumps, and experiment with that.

[weixiao]

My first thought is that you need to find a horse to take some lessons on that doesn’t jump in a way that makes you uncomfortable and to start small and build your confidence back.

Do you have any video of your horse jumping that you would be willing to share? I’m trying to imagine what he jumps like when you say it is awkward. Is he a correct jumper that jumps a bit hard and jumps you out of the tack or is he making mistakes with his front end that is making the jump awkward that could possibly be corrected by a different ride to the jumps or some different exercises. Was his jump always “awkward” or has that changed over time?

I would definitely recommend trying some different trainers as much as possible if yours isn’t helping you.

But if you can’t change programs or jump a different horse (or even if you can), I would recommend addressing the feeling of getting jumped out of the tack since it sounds like it is an actual physical event and not really a mental block so much. How fit are you? (Rhetorical question for yourself, you don’t have to answer.) Strength and balance can help a lot of things and not only help your riding physically but also help you mentally. A lot of core strengthening can help if you are getting jumped out of the tack. Kickboxing has been super for me but yoga, Pilates, weight training, or whatever suits your fancy can all be great. Or if you really don’t have the gym bug, find some of these “30 day plank challenges” and do that and a squat challenge every day. T-25 is another great quick workout option if you are short on time.

In addition to strength training, I would add a neck strap (remember, if WFP can use one, so can we ) and spend a lot of time in two point (try not to use the strap for balance but you can while you develop it) on the flat. Then, just start with very small jumps and grids. Don’t be afraid to get in two point early, grab the neck strap, and work on finding your balance to stay with him. Just work your way up and find your confidence again slowly by first finding your comfort level and slowly expanding it until you get back to where you’re confident doing what you were.

How does your saddle fit you both? It’s also possible that your saddle is putting you off balance and it may be worth trying something else.

I think your mental block is going to be best helped by fixing the physical event that makes you nervous. First, examine what is “awkward” about his jump and whether it is correct. Next, build strength, balance, and muscle memory so you can stay with his jump securely which will help your confidence greatly, I believe, and start small and work your way up again. Regaining lost confidence is absolutely possible but it takes time.

[galloping-gourmet]

I have just gone through the same thing with my horse. We were jumping 3’ plus, because he can and I can and smaller fences don’t impress him. At that height, though, some basic training holes started showing up…i.e. he would blow through my left leg, wasn’t really adjustable front to back and side to side, etc. So I lost confidence and small jumps started to make me sick to my stomach…

I have ridden plenty of horses over my lifetime, and this is truly the first time I’ve experienced the feeling of not wanting to jump. I could chalk it up to ‘getting older’, etc, but I don’t believe that is it. We have backed down, taken some dressage lessons and are coming back really slowly.

I have found that I need to tell my trainer what I want and need in a lesson. I want half flat, then some small technical jumping. I DON’T want to warm myself up, then start the jumping at 3’…

My horse is a saint, and I want to ride him better so it’s easier for both of us…

Good luck to you…

[burnedout]

[QUOTE=Hilary;8353493]
Do you fear falling off because you are out of sync? Causing him to stop or do something bad?

The other thought is that your saddle and stirrup length don’t jive with how he jumps, and experiment with that.[/QUOTE]

Obviously I don’t want to fall off, but I think it’s more just the feeling that it’s not right and that I can’t figure out what’s wrong. It seems that the canter is good and that we’re straight, but I can’t seem to see a distance to save my life. If I try to move him up in hopes that I’ll see something, he runs and launches instead of rounding with a nice bascule.

Funny that saddle fit (me and him) has been brought up because it is a new saddle to me and I don’t feel great in it, but it fits him. I’ve been wondering if the balance of it doesn’t work for me, but I didn’t want to make excuses. Can a saddle’s balance or stirrup bar placement make a big enough difference to a rider that they lose their eye completely?

[burnedout]

As for his awkward jump, I guess it’s not the actual jump (he doesn’t really jump me out of the tack), but I tend to either get ahead or left behind because I can’t quite tell when his feet are going to leave the ground. When people watch us, they can’t see anything that I am feeling, but as soon as they get on they realize he is not as easy as he looks. He has a ton of scope, but he’s not what I would call naturally athletic. And similar to GG’s experience, I’m definitely finding that he has a lot of holes in his training.

[JP60]

Random thoughts from the cheap seats (but had similar feelings).

Yes, a saddle can change your balance thus your position. You say the horse is honest so it cannot be so much how he attacks a fence, so then what changed? One thing is your saddle. See if you can try others that still fit him but help your own balance. Maybe you don’t realize your leg is swinging back more of the saddle puts you more forward. Maybe the stirrup lengths are just that little bit off. Try up one or down one and see.

Seeing distance. Go back to basics (if you have not) and set ground poles for getting both the canter (canter poles), but also counting strides. play with that till you can “see” and count down to crossing the poles (Denny had an exercise like that, extending the count back from 3 to 4 to 5). Different horse, different stride, rhythm, all can affect your “sight”.

An exercise I love is having 4 canter poles that lead to a vertical. You go round and round, first getting the canter, than an assistant starts to raise the pole to what ever height you want. It seems to help define the jumping canter, get the rider prepared, and the horse position to jump. It forces the distance so you can begin to “see it” four strides out.

Sometimes I get ahead of my guy jumping so we’ve taken to grabbing mane, getting the chest out, and heals down to make sure I go with him. That helped me stay centered with him without grabbing the bit or getting pulled ahead.

When folks can jump 3’+ and have done riding such a long time it seems they tend to not want to “start over” with the new horse, because supposed experienced horse + supposed experienced rider = great team from the git go. It does not always work that way since the horse has a brain independent from the wants of the rider (this I really know).

Strip it all down to basics again. Do the ground poles till he listens to any all adjustments. then do cross rails and make sure its the trot in (pole in front) and that he really listens, then the small vertical with poles front and back to keep him honest. Than maybe 2’ gymnastics to get the feel of his actions. Take the time to build trust between you both.

I’m a nobody, but the way I see it, a new horse is like a new relationship. Yeah, maybe you can start off hot and heavy, but it may also fizzle quick. The best way is to take it slow, build the trust, the feel, the communication and the bond between both horse and rider. What’s the rush. It took me 6 months with a competent trainer to undo the first three months that were a disaster (bucking, refusals, scary jump without trainer). Add to it a new saddle and it is not hard to see why you lost confidence. You were borrowing from the past.

Best of luck.

[ellisrun]

The hardest part of riding is the mental stuff ! I think there have been some great suggestions so far and here’s my two cents:

1. Saddle fit - for two years, I rode in saddle and as the jumps got higher we noticed my right leg was slipping back (I normally have a solid base) - what was going on? Changed saddles, leg tight as a tick. Problems that presented themselves because my position was out of wack, not an issue anymore.

2. Jump Strap - my new guy (less than 4 mths) is just a different ride than my other guy, great jumper but I was getting caught behind the motion and snatching him in the mouth trying to figure him out, it wasn’t fun. Added the jump strap, got the canter, shoulders back before the fence - I would grab the strap seriously three strides out and just wait for the take off - feeling and quit looking for the distance - pretty basic but it solved my anticipation.

3. I am an ammy so I am only really good at distinguishing the good canter when things go well, but I’d say 90% of the time if I have a bad jump - it’s because I didn’t get the canter.

[burnedout]

“When folks can jump 3’+ and have done riding such a long time it seems they tend to not want to “start over” with the new horse, because supposed experienced horse + supposed experienced rider = great team from the git go. It does not always work that way since the horse has a brain independent from the wants of the rider (this I really know)”

This. We both have experience schooling prelim and I have a lot of experience on different horses. My plan was for us to do training this year. It has not worked out as planned. I need to be ok with it.

Strip down to basics. Trying different saddles this week.

Thanks guys. I won’t give up!

[Kodidog763]

My block was different, so not sure this will be helpful for you, but…

Backstory: My gelding kicked out during a block, and the needle broke off in his leg. He went through surgery to remove the needle, but it was too far embedded in the tendon. The vet determined they would do more damage trying to remove it rather than leaving it in. They told me he would be fine and that the needle would most likely never cause any problems.

After he had recovered from the surgery and I could start riding again, every time I got on him, I felt like he was going to take a wrong step on his “needle leg” and crumple to the ground. I have never been so uncomfortable sitting on a horse. I could. not. get. over. it. I was completely focused on the needle in his leg. This went on for over a year. For that year, I barely rode, and if I did, I basically got on and walked him around and then got off.

I ended up riding him in a lesson with a new trainer. The mare I had been riding was lame, so I saddled up my gelding. It was early fall, one of the first really cool evenings, and windy as crap, and he hadn’t been ridden regularly for a year. I got on him and he lost his mind. We galloped around the arena. Round and round and round. The trainer kept having me check in with him to see if we could get his mind back, and after a while (seemed like an hour to me) he got his mind back, and we had a nice lesson. During our careening around the arena, I was so focused on staying on, and not getting killed, I didn’t have time to worry about his needle leg.

Soo… long story, but for me I had to have an activity which took me out of my head and didn’t allow me to focus on what I was worried about. It honestly was like a switch flipped in my head. That needle doesn’t cross my mind anymore when I ride.

Can you work with your trainer to design some simple exercises which require you to work through them quickly, and don’t allow you time to think about it and get into your head?

Good luck! I can empathize with you, going through a mental block sucks!

[burnedout]

2 great lessons this week!
One was a gymnastic built up to about a 3ft oxer and the other was course work over BNish sized jumps. It feels amazing! I told myself to not over think it and just did it. I was nervous, but allowed myself to be ok with the not so perfect jumps. I appreciate that the trainer pushed me just outside my current comfort zone. Hopefully, 2 lessons a week will keep me on track to getting back to where I was a couple of years ago!
Thanks for all of the support

[burnedout]

Answer found!

1. Have a good trainer friend ride your horse over any of the jumps that have been freaking you out. Take video. Study video. Realize how easy it is for your horse.
2. Take a lesson with a trusted trainer that will push you, but won’t over-face you or your horse. Do what they tell you. Jump all the things even if your heart is in your gut. Just. Do. It.
3. Just. Do. It. over and over until it is confirmed in your thick skull that you and your horse are capable.
4. Remember why you’ve kept at it despite doubts. Keep going. Have a blast!

:D:D:D WooHoo!!

[ellisrun]

Yea! Finding the right trainer is everything

[ACMEeventing]

That’s wonderful! Congratulations, you’ve still got it