Good morning! Hoping you smart COTHers might lend me your thoughts and ideas.
My riding career, once on an upward trajectory, has been stalled (hehe) for several years. I’ve kept riding on & off, but only jumping little things, doing lots of flatwork, and virtually no showing. Being a mom with a full-time job does limit my horse time. At this point, I’m able to ride about 4 times a week, which I think is pretty good, all things considered.
My horse will soon retire, so I’ve been thinking about what to do next. Unfortunately, I’m just stumped. I love this sport, but I don’t love showing anymore. It’s too much time away from family/work, crazy expensive, and simply not that fun IMO. I love hunter/jumpers and have no desire to pursue other disciplines at this time.
I’m a completely goal-oriented person, so I’m getting terribly bored without any. Of course I love and cherish ANY horse time. I know how lucky I am. Something just feels missing. I miss the thrill of achievement. But without showing, I am not sure what my goals should be. I just feel…lost. I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.
Do you enjoy developing young horses? If so, that can be an extremely rewarding and challenging process and would keep you focused and motivated once your older horse retires. It’s fun to reach those small milestones with a young horse, the simplest of things that you take for granted on a made horse feel like huge victories when you reach them!
Maybe signing up for a clinic or a monthly lesson with a different trainer would give you something to work towards?
I know you said you are happy in h/j but some cross training would be great for you and your horse. Pop over some logs in an xc field, trail riding/trail obstacles, etc.
Maybe switch your goal from big shows to the occasional local schooling show?
Less expense, generally at most a weekend & stepping down for your aging horse while still keeping your hat in the ring.
Agreeing with both @SugarCubes & @ClassyJumper - is there a local trainer (your own?) who might have young/green horses you could lesson on or show?
Trying a different discipline may surprise you.
I had zero interest in Driving until I watched a clinic on Driven Dressage.
Past riding included some 20+yrs of Hunters, dabbled in Eventing & switched to Dressage.
Took some Driving lessons, showed a friend’s pony at Fair & now have my own mini with an eye to CDE.
For perspective: I was 66 when I got the mini.
More than a few of the members of Battle Creek Hunt are former show and eventing riders --and some still compete as fox hunting is a winter sport. We also have a beautiful Arab show horse that had success at Scottsdale --my gelding is in love with her; a roping horse; and my cutting/sorting horse have all found fun on the hunt field. I think it has many of the things I enjoyed about showing --turn out, training, performance —but none of the stuff I didn’t like --judging, drama (ok, there’s a little drama sometimes), and competition. But since my kids/grand kids stopped needing my help as groom (they grew up), I needed a summer sport. On a whim, I tried Mounted Archery. Love it. All I need to amuse myself is my horse, my bow, a quiver of arrows and a target.
I start most days with a few practice rounds with my horse --he knows the drill --then I either trail ride or work on stuff on the farm —3 days a week horse and I do a little jumping practice before archery practice --that’s fun too. I should do more dressage work (I have a full size ring for it that the kids used to use) --but I don’t as much as I should.
Once or twice a week another archer will pop buy to shoot on my course --that’s nice, but I’m fine by myself too.
My point is, don’t hesitate to try something you have never tried before --FYI Mounted Archery is great for older horses --they need only canter 90 meters --or walk 90 meters --that’s the length of the course.
Since you mentioned that your doing tons of flatwork, I highly recommend taking some dressage lessons, and here’s why: like you, I’m a hunter rider. But let’s be honest with ourselves - our discipline takes a lot of shortcuts on flatwork. Even if our lessons are 45-50 min of flat and 10-15 minutes of jumping, I can pretty much guarantee there is much more to learn AND even though dressage is an entirely different discipline it will improve your ride as a hunter. I bought a dreamy hunter this January, and decided to keep him with the seller (a trainer) as she has a multidisciplinary approach that I thought would be good for my horse and I requested that he have 2 rides a week that focus on dressage. I decided to also take some dressage lessons here and there to see what it’s all about. Not only has it helped him, but It turns out its been exceptionally helpful for me as I’ve learned so much more about how my body influences my horse. I have a better understanding for connection with my horse, or how to use my core and seat and balance instead of always relying on my legs. I’ve learned all about how to influence my horse through body position, and it’s improved how I flat him as a hunter as well. It’s corrected my elbow and arm position as well. I didn’t really aspire to ride dressage - it just happened. My horse is now spending the summer showing dressage shows vs the hunter circuit as we took the green waiver, and it’s been really fun being with adults, having scheduled ride times, and showing in an environment that is well monitored. It’s also less than half the price of a hunter show and the scheduled ride times mean you don’t have to spend all day waiting on a division. I had no idea I’d ever even say this, but I love dressage shows! Now, my horse is still jumping back home, as he is the type of horse that needs to switch things up from time to time, but what we’ve all noticed is how much more responsive he is and how much his topline has improved. It’s really helped him with cadence, balance, rhythm, and he’ll be a much stronger horse going into the 2021 season for his green debut redux.
How has it helped me as a rider? I lesson back home (my horse is 4 hours away) and one of my trainers had me on a very slow, hard to motivate heavy forehanded horse. Now, I’ve ridden this horse before as he came from my old barn, and everyone was always encouraged to use a big spur and a crop. On this day, I really used my seat and body to drive the horse forward, not my legs or the stick, and my trainer remarked “I see those dressage lessons working to your advantage today!” Why yes, yes they were! And I was a lot less tired after the lesson as well. Even my posture has improved. Might be worthwhile to check it out! It may help you become an even more effective rider and I guarantee it will help you even as a hunter rider. Best of luck!
Is fox hunting a thing in your area? I would consider that h/j! I love the idea of developing a young horse, maybe an OTTB? Or a lightly started youngster who needs some miles & sell later down the road?
btw - I completely feel the being a working mom and riding! It’s a LOT. Maybe we should start a club on FB?
Nothing wrong with taking a year or so off when your horse retires and letting the universe decide for you what happens next. I know that sounds really "woo-woo’ and out there, but sometimes things just fall into place if you take a step back and let them.
I’m very lucky to have the support of my husband. My older daughter is supportive (she actually rides a little, too). My younger daughter is another story. She takes my time at the barn as a personal affront. So while I love my horse time, it’s also laden with guilt.
I’m also lucky to work from home, with somewhat flexible hours. Bless my employer.
Working from home is definitely a game changer. I’m in real estate, so it’s mostly from home. My husband was a groom, so luckily (or not because he knows how much everything costs, LOL) he understands the horse thing.
I get a lot of help from my parents. My mom usually watches baby so I can ride/lesson/show. We drag baby to shows and plop her whenever to sleep (we make it really nice).
basically, a LOT of help & people that love us make it happen for me, and I’m really lucky. Otherwise we do have a nanny that we use sometimes, but that cuts into our “fun” money.
ill PM you when I make the FB group. I think this could be an awesome thing.
I find myself in a similar position with setting goals as I don’t have the funds to show more than 2-3 times a year and my goal is to just “have fun” at those shows!
in between, I work on setting goals for myself that are measurable and achievable that help me show myself I am learning. Lately my goal has been “ride an entire course without chipping” - seems like a silly goal but as an adult re-rider my eye is not what it was as a junior. So that’s a fair goal for me. Last fall we set the Medal finals course in our ring so my goal was to execute that course as flawlessly as I could. They’re tiny goals, but I can check the box (did I do it or not?) and it doesn’t put me way outside my means by making it show related. Maybe think of some small skills-based goals that you feel like you can achieve over a few months and work on one at a time until you’ve mastered them all. We don’t need to jump every day or show every weekend to grow! I forget that sometimes
If you have a trainer, I would talk to them. See if there is anything specific they want you to work on, and plan with them! They will know you and your riding well to help you set your goals! If you don’t, then I also recommend doing clinics. Do some research of barns in your area.
Also, I know that you do not want to pursue any other disciplines- but, who knows?
You could also try foxhunting or some cross country! I am a full on hunter/equitation rider, but I always pass an eventing facility on my commute, which has a HUGE cross country field. So, we decided to try it for a change, and it was so much fun! It’s nice to have a change of pace for a day or so, and then go back to normal.
So maybe your goal could be to try something out of your comfort zone- who knows!
And if you end up getting another horse after yours’ retires, maybe helping out with or purchasing a project horse could be a good idea, as goals are a bigpart of training with the green beans. :lol:
Best of luck!
Do you work with a trainer? You could ask her to give you scores for everything you do as if you were in a flat or jumping class. Maybe she says your sitting trot is a 70 and you can work on improving that with numerical goals. You can break down more advanced flatwork, lines, and courses however you want. You may discover that your left rollback is an 85 but your right rollback a 75. Then you can talk about what to do to improve and even those out.
