Grappling with guilt and a senior horse

[LakotaSunDancer]

Hi everyone. Long time lurker here but I am hoping to find that my situation is not a unique one.

I own a 27 year old paint horse named Lakota, and he and I have been together since I was 14 and he was 11. We’ve done almost everything together and he has been my solid rock through various life events as I’ve grown up.

In 2015 I moved him closer to home to a better barn situation and he had been here ever since. We have some of the best care I’ve seen personal and he is the happiest I’ve ever seen him. I’m so thankful that I can provide a life like this for him.

Lakota was diagnosed with ringbone in both front legs approximately two years ago and we started him on Equioxx. He has corrective shoeing as well, occasional bodywork sessions and is on SmartPaks with the full range of joint health supplements. I am trying to hold off on injections until they are absolutely needed, as I am so concerned that I may only be able to do a year’s worth and then not be able to afford it again after that. I don’t think it’s fair to him to start something if I can’t reasonably keep up with it for the next few years.

Equioxx worked for about a year and then we were back to square one. Since then he has been on 1 gram of bute split between breakfast and dinner daily and we’ve had a wonderful year together doing training level Dressage lessons. We’ve all watched him closely for any GI symptoms or anything adverse and he has been a happy, healthy guy.

He came up lame again recently and I had my vet out this weekend. The ringbone has progressed considerably and he is gimpy at a trot but still enjoys bucking and playing outside and in the arena. Vet gave me a range of suggestions to consider, and obviously some were injections. As I said previously, I am concerned about the long term cost of injections draining what little savings I have to go towards a house down payment someday for my fiance and I, although we have agreed to dig into it if Lakota ever needed something in a true emergency; any other routine care has to come from our paychecks.

I reached out to a friend to ask about her experience with OsteoMax and to ask if she felt it was worth the investment as cost was a concern for me for the long term. She came at me swinging and wanted to know why cost was even a concern for me because I should “be willing to do anything for Lakota after all he has done for me over the years” and she had to remind me that she has “skipped meals to ensure her horses had everything they could possibly need” and basically made it sound like I had told her that I was stopping all of his care and shipping him over the border and not just trying to be smart financially while still caring for him. She also commented on the fact that I’m getting married in a few months and remarked that my husband to be and I will have to make some sacrifices for Lakota for probably the next several years. And yes, I agree that we will need to do this, but to me that does not mean going into more debt or ruining what savings we have unless it’s an emergency.

I have been grappling with guilt ever since this conversation and I can’t understand why she had no concept of my point of view. To me it is totally reasonable to have financial limits for horse care and for me, knowing that he will need other forms of care for more frequent dental work, shoeing, regular vet visits, etc, I want to ensure I can reasonably cover all of those routine things before adding something more expensive in like injections to my list. I’m willing to consider it but i don’t think I can do it right away. Most of my paycheck each month goes to Lakota and I am okay with that. I signed up to care for him and I’m doing that, but it now feels like it’s not enough and that it won’t be enough until my resources are out.

I feel like I’ve worked hard to make sure my old guy has a good life and I don’t see how wanting to save for a home someday alongside caring for him and managing everything else in my life is something I should be ashamed of. I guess I’m just hoping for some assurance that this is normal and that other people have limits too for what they are willing to do for their horses even though they love them. I’m worried that deep down this makes me a bad person.

[Miss_Motivation]

You are being reasonable. Still doing dressage lessons at 27 indicates that you have taken beautiful care of Lakota, but he is old and like all creatures of great age, he is wearing out. You are, in my opinion and I suspect in the opinion of many who will post here, being responsible in caring with your horse.

It may be time to retire Lakota from riding, to let him lead a less active lifestyle that may be comfortable for him without heroic veterinary measures. He has lived a long and glorious life as your riding companion, but may have years left as a beloved retiree while you go about living your life without the pressure and cost of trying to maintain him in perfect soundness.

[ChocoMare]

Yeah, what Miss said. And a big, ole PHHHHPFFFTT to that “friend.”

Your horse, your decision. I agree on the retirement but also to having that hard conversation with yourself and your vet… when is enough, enough?

Horses only know now. They have no concept of “I did so much for you… you owe me…blah blah blah” nonsense from that person. That’s gotta be the heightest statement of anthropomorphism I’ve ever heard.

As the wise @Coreene once said: Better a day, week or month too soon, than a minute too late.

And my chosen line: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

[Weezer]

I agree that it may be time to retire Lakota. Last year I retired my 28 year old gelding. It was sad and hard, but now we go for walks together and do other quiet stuff together that he seems to enjoy. Now it’s a matter of trying to balance old man aches and pains with quality of life.

When it comes to the question of how much money to put into a horse, at this point, it’s helpful to remember that the end is near, so focus on doing what would leave you with a clear conscience on his last day. You have clearly given this horse a fantastic life, so now your focus should be on getting him to the finish line in the most compassionate and peaceful way. Often, that involves making the difficult decision to say “enough”, even when the vet may offer solutions.

[Bonnie2]

First the guilt. It sounds like Lakota has had a long and lovely life. If he still likes to buck and play turned out, he is not unhappy even if he is a little too gimpy for dressage. You do not need to beggar yourself for treatments that may or may not work. He may need to be retired and one day he may need to be euthanized. As sad a thought as it is, budget for that.

Second the lameness. Bute currently has a bad reputation. For decades 2 grams a day was the standard dose and 4 grams was used for a couple days. The standard legal pre-horse show dose was 10 cc of bute and 10 cc of banamine. Personally, I had a retiree with navicular that lived on 2 grams of bute daily for 8 years without any gut issues. Some horses tolerate it well and some do not. A long winded way of saying you could try upping his bute. As for injections, you don’t say what medication you might use. It is ok to do most things once. If he gets a better 6 months or year he won’t be worse off than if he hadn’t been injected. Speak to your vet about exact costs and expected outcomes so you can make an informed decision.

Wishing you and Lakota many happy days to come!

[Djones]

First, lose her phone number.

You sound like a reasonable, rational sort. You don’t worry about her hysteria. It is none of your concern.

[fivestrideline]

Agree that your friend was out of line, and the type of person I would be backing away from in the future as far as horse care advice goes.

As far as care, those SmartPaks aren’t cheap, and feed through supps have… less than good scientific backing. Injections, however, have a long history of solid evidence. Why not drop the joint supps (his ringbone is worsening, so they’re not doing anything miraculous) and put that money towards injections? You might be surprised at his comfort level, and they’re actually not all that expensive, relatively. Also, if bute helps his QOL, it’s not a “bad” drug. Switch the joint supps for a gut supp and up the bute if needed to give him some pain relief for the current issue.

I also think you are looking at retirement, but consider his long term comfort. It’s best, I think, to have a frank chat with your vet, and decide what is an acceptable level of comfort and how much you’re willing to spend on getting or keeping him there. There’s nothing wrong with trying injections, bute, or some combination of therapies, or deciding that you cannot support the XYZ that he needs to maintain a good QOL.

Jingles and support, this is the tough side of horses for sure.

[Laurierace]

Your friend was a jerk, make sure you cross her off the list of people to ask advice from ever again. Generally speaking “doing anything” for an older horse does way more harm than good. If you haven’t tried it already put him on MSM, it’s cheap and relatively effective.

[stargzng386]

I agree with this I bet 6 months worth of supplements would cover the cost of injections which will most likely help significantly. My vet doesn’t recommend any oral joint supplement. I see both points of view I understand just not being able to afford it BUT from your friends point of view injections are really part of horse ownership and fall more in line with expected aging upkeep costs. It’s not a massive surgery or anything out of the norm for most older horses. Personally waiting too long on injections might make it too late and you might have to consider euthanasia and quality of life, which is perfectly ok if that’s the route you choose. If you can’t do injections and bute is no longer working then for the sake of your old friend you need to stop riding. Extra weight will increase his discomfort.

[Djones]

I concur with those who say ditch the oral supplements and go for the injections.

[JB]

That’s not someone to stay friend with She has no right tell you how to manage your finances. Her choices of sacrifice do not in any way dictate what you have to do. Please don’t feel guilty, though I totally understand. What your horse deserves is the best care you CAN give him, or a dignified end if what you can realistically afford can’t keep him comfortable. There is 100% no shame in the latter. Sr horses can be HARD to take care of.

Talk to your vet about the cost of injecting, if you haven’t already. It may not be as much as you fear. If you can reasonably afford to inject this time, then it’s worth trying because it may not help enough to even consider doing it again. If it DOES help that much, then you could start a plan to earn just a little extra money for that in another 6 months or a year.

Osteomax alone will cost $350 for an 8 month supply, or $200 if you just trial a 4 month supply, and that doesn’t even guarantee it will help at all. That’s probably the majority of an injection cost, and while there’s no guarantee there either, the chances of it helping are a lot higher than any supplement

See how he does are a retiree. that may be all he needs right now to stay comfortable enough. If not, then go from there.

[trubandloki]

@LakotaSunDancer

To me it is totally reasonable to have financial limits for horse care

You are 100% correct. Your friend is over stepping and is wrong to add this layer of guilt.

Talk to your vet and figure out what they think is best for your horse in your budget.

[fivestrideline]

On top of all that, if you are considering joint injections, be aware that they aren’t a guaranteed option - changes in the joint can make them impossible. This is why it’s not always great to wait and “try everything else”. Do them early enough and you can sometimes keep space in a joint and keep it working, whereas if you wait until the space is gone, you lose the injection option.

Just another point to discuss with your vet. I don’t have experience with ringbone specifically, so YMMV.

[OzarksRider]

Lose the guilt. Don’t ever let someone else define you. You’ve already given your horse a long and happy life, and that’s more than a lot of them get.

I agree with those who say ditch the supplements and try the injections. Even if the injections only work for 6 months, that’s 6 more months of good quality of life that you’ve given your horse. If the injections don’t work, or if you decide you can’t do them long term, there’s still no harm done from trying. Talk to your vet and trust yourself. You’ll do the right thing, because your head and your heart are in the right place.

[SMF11]

I board retirees, and agree with all the advice people have given.

I don’t think an unlimited amount of money is owed any animal. I do think reasonable accomodations/spending are owed. Seems like retiring is a good idea. You may very well be able to save on board that way too.

[whhisperbaby11]

You reached out to a friend, and got a weird response. The only thing you have done wrong here is to feel guilt about this, it is time to realize that conversations about these matters are off the table with this person. Your friend may support you in other areas, if not - time to put them in the acquaintance column.

Your horse is older, and I have also been lucky in having my horses grow old. It’s a real whopper, the decision about when to let go. It’s going to be hard no matter what you decide to do.

[WildGooseChase]

This person is no “friend” of yours. I’d be telling them to screw off…

If you cannot afford the care he needs, retirement is a very valid option, if you can’t keep him comfortable under saddle on a realistic budget. Humane euthanasia shouldn’t be ignored either, especially if the time comes that he cannot get around, get up and down etc… There is no reason to go broke to pay for his care, because eventually you won’t be able to afford it at all, even on credit. At that point, you’re up to your eyeballs in vet bills, and you don’t have a horse in the barn anymore. I don’t see the point in wrecking what you’ve made for yourself.

You are not a bad person, the fact that you’re able to work with your 27 year old horse is proof of that. You are realistic and quite rational given the circumstances. You’ve given him a good riding career, so I’d be trying to keep him pasture sound and retire him.

Good luck, and don’t let people who don’t have your best interest at heart, get under your skin.

[2DogsFarm]

Total Agreement with Lose That “Friend”
You sound to me like a very caring owner & Lakota is lucky he’s yours (& you’re his ).

I have 2 (of 3) in their 20s & look at them daily thinking “When?”.
No need for meds or supplements for either.
It’s my youngest - 9yo mini - who needs the thyroid meds & Sr feed.

Oldest is 23yo Hackney Pony.
He’s purely decorative, never had a job with me aside from companion to my other horses.
He’s gone very gray on his face, but could pass for a much younger horse in motion.
Next is 20-ish TWH.
Gifted to me 8yrs ago by a real friend who guesstimated his age.
He’s starting to gray on his neck. No other sign of aging, still very mobile in pasture & U/S.
But these 2 are in my future plans, to be euthed when I can no longer care for them.
Mini goes to a theraputic riding program I know.

I’m no Spring myself & though horses are home now, that could cease to be an option.
No guilt at this decision as both are too quirky to consider rehoming.

As has been said, horses have no Future, just Now.
You’re young, have a Life with a partner to consider.
The decision as to how much time & $$ you spend on Lakota’s care & retirement is yours & your partner’s.
Period.
End of sentence.

Wishing the 3 of you Happiness & Peace with whatever you decide.

[endlessclimb]

@fivestrideline

Do them early enough and you can sometimes keep space in a joint and keep it working, whereas if you wait until the space is gone, you lose the injection option.

I have this t-shirt.

I second (third/whatever) the idea of ditching the joint supplements. The vets at Purdue call them expensive urine - I don’t even look at them anymore as an option and instead look towards proven options.

[Mango20]

I think you have the right outlook on the situation, and your friend is a jerk. The fact is, your horse is 27 and he’s never going to get any younger. Whether you spend $$$ and keep him going 3 more years or $ and let him be reasonably happy for 1-2 years isn’t going to make any difference to your horse.

I agree with those that say to retire him soon and not worry so much if he’s 100% sound. I have a 29 year old in that situation. She’s retired, she’s happy enough with her life, and will trot and canter on her own and can get up and down okay, but she is definitely not completely sound. I don’t know exactly why (no money spent on diagnostics since I’m not riding her anyway), and I don’t medicate her other than bute before the farrier comes or if she trots in looking more off than normal. At this point, she’s not costing me any more than my other horses, is still happy and in charge of them all, and equilibrium has been reached. She could go on like this for a few months or several years, I have no way of knowing.