I always hear a lot of people say that equitation coats should be even more conservative than hunter. Ex: no green, burgundy, etc. where would grey fall on this spectrum?
Its true that the majority of riders wear navy jackets and tan breeches but dark green is worn in the big eq by some, ever since Lillie Keenan wore hers quite a few years ago. I doubt any good judge would penalize you for wearing grey, especially if it was a dark charcoal grey, unless the rule book specifies what colors are acceptable. Have you checked the rule book?
Depends on the shade of grey. Dark is probably not going to make you stand out from the others, light will. If you are the kind of EQ rider who is expected to pin in the top 5 every time out in the Big Eq? You can take a chance on a little different color. The rest of us need to pay attention to small details and traditional colors.
From a traditional standpoint, gray is an informal color. Black and navy are formal colors.
The current rule does not specify colors for jackets. Most people wear navy or a similar dark color, so the more you vary from that, the more you will stand out. It’s up to the rider whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 
From the rule book:
EQ 106.2
Conventional attire following the tradition of fox hunting is encouraged and preferred. It is further recommended that the rider’s attire does not distract from the performance of the horse and rider. Judges shall not eliminate a rider for inappropriate attire except for safety (see GR801). Shirts must have a choker, similar collar or tie. Breeches may be buff, canary, tan, rust or white.
Interesting that rust breeches are approved. Aren’t they informal/cubbing hunt attire?
black, navy or v. dark green
We stick to solid black or navy. Gives a beautiful silhouette. I would not want my eq rider to stick out due to their attire, unless I knew we were going in prepared for top 3, and even then it would be iffy for me.
Wear the jacket.
If you are worried the judge will not pin you wearing the jacket, turn in a performance that dares them to do otherwise.
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As a judge, if I’m placing the round based on the color of the jacket I’m not doing my job properly. I make a note of turnout - tidy, polished - and then judge the round. Focus on being turned out to the best of your ability with boots gleaming, and then producing a top performance.
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Like Tackpud said. Just give us 8 great jumps and we probably won’t care if your coat is electric lime green 
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Hell I wear a medium dark brown jacket… though I do love to stand out… 
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