The word for what you are experiencing is called “concern trolling” online. It’s people being all worried about what you’ve posted in a passive aggressive way. I bet they talk in higher pitched girly voices too when they do this.
My barn is full of nosey Nellies and some folks get plagued quite a bit with unsolicited advice that can leave them in tears. But for whatever reason I have never been on the receiving end of that
I think the secret is keeping up a bubble and not inviting them into your.mental space. It can be hard if you have already overshared or if you are still seeking reassurance from them periodically. Then it becomes the conversation starter they have on hand.
You can also prepare yourself with conversation starters that let them obsess about their horses which is what everyone really wants to do.
There’s a reason horses used to get the winter off. Some of my barn friends send their horses out to a field for the winter or at least December.
Now I can’t skip going to the barn because self board but there are days I only do turnout, and wet days the horses don’t even want that when it’s sunset at 4:15 pm. Even in summer, maresy goes best on 4 or 5 days riding, them a day off. She’s not a 6 days a week.horse.
I think you need to change your inner story to: I am doing incredibly well rehabbing my horse, our level of work is appropriate for the season, he’s happy doing nothing all day, and spring is coming.
Then march into the barn with a smile and your head held high, do whatever with deliberation and intention, and when Nosey Nelly concern trolls, just reply “oh he’s good, we’ve got our weekly routine figured out. But I really love your new saddle pad, is that LeMieux or PSSweden and what’s the color called?”
not very motivating especially with a nasty cold virus in our house.