COTH is a useful starting point too. There are often enquiries about pedigrees and confirmation, not just in the Breeders forum, and there is a wonderful breadth of knowledge in the respondants. Then there are innumerable websites for individual breeders. They have pictures and videos together with performance data. Here you can obtain a range of opinions about which animals are considered to be worth breeding. And develop your own eye. Then there are breed association websites with standards explained and approved stallions listed and performance data cited. Also attending breed shows. The joy of the internet is finding out about all kinds of breeds. Who knew the South African boerperd was such an interesting gaited breed?
I’ve always figured that if something happened and I could no longer ride I would either get more involved with dogs, or I would buy a mini or small pony that I could safely brush and care for.
Mentally coth is great, magazines are great, auditing clinics, watching the warm up and competition rings at horse shows. I like the virtual stable idea too.
In addition to all of the wonderful advice you have been given I want to give a thumbs up to miniatures. They are easy to handle, fun to drive, plus all the attitude of a full sized horse in a smaller package! LOL
When horses left my life for a bit I honestly just had to stop thinking about them or looking at them or having anything to do with them. It brought me to tears and frustration. I have not had a horse in 7 years (OMG!) Now I have convinced my hubby that horses are a want not a need. (first tip of mine is don’t marry a city boy!) Now I am slowing moving back into horsey areas.
I have learned over the years that for me it is more about the connection with the horse than it is about actually riding. Now it took me into my 40’s to figure that out, but hopefully you are a quicker learner than I 
Maybe see if you can’t just find a barn to hang out at and spend some time around horses. Maybe find some sympathetic person to let you groom or be with their horse.
I was diagnosed with Scleroderma a few years ago. I have a fairly mild case so far (fortunately!), but it has had a huge impact on my physical abilities and I have had to change my goals and expectations. Instead of jumping/dressage, I mostly ride western now, and play with my Shetland pony.
I do work hard to manage my symptoms, and it has helped, but I have made big life changes along the way.
I hope you are also able to find ways to manage your health and to balance your work/recreation.
You said you were successful in dressage in college- you could volunteer as a scribe at shows. You don’t have to do much moving all day, just sitting beside the judge, and you can watch horses go and hear valuable commentary to gain some insight as well. If you volunteer enough and become known as someone helpful, you may make some good connections and gain opportunities to be around horses at the times you feel up to it without a commitment to lessons/leasing/buying.
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I don’t know where you are, but if you are in the Boston area, pm me. If I can help you find a way to spend a little time with horses, I would be happy to do it. (And if you ever had a day where you felt that you could just sit on a horse, I would be happy to give you a pony ride on my steady eddy.)
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Just wanted to say “hang in there.” I’m in mid-thirties and have been in a similar situation. One thing that helped me get through tough times when I couldn’t get outside much was getting a service dog. My first service dog helped saved me mentally and physically in so many ways that I wonder if I would have made it through my 20’s without him. I also formed friendships with the many other people with disabilities who I met during team training and the organization. So, not only did I get an amazing dog to help me but I also gained a new “family.” There are quite a few organizations out there that place service dogs with folks for a nominal fee.
I’m a recent re-rider that wishes I had sought out some horse time sooner; I’ve been disabled since my late teens and was recently diagnosed with a slow-moving but terminal illness. The new diagnosis is what pushed me to return to horses/riding sooner than later. I wish I had sought out finding a horse to groom or love on in the interim, and I think there are lots of people who don’t have the time to give their buddies as much time and attention as they want. Maybe you can help them out 
You may reflect, after reading all the good advice here, that maybe Emerson was not quite right, that it is not riding itself, but to have horses in any way in our lives that is a grand passion.
As many that enjoy horses from afar, in stories and pictures and today movies and videos some ways, can attest to, if they can’t be around horses themselves.
A friend in his early years, late teens I think, very active in the horse world, was bedridden for two years with rheumatic fever.
He spent much of that time learning about horse pedigrees.
Once he was well, he finished his studies and started to work in the horse industry for horse associations, becoming eventually one of their top executives, all thanks to his in depth knowledge of horses and their history and pedigrees.
We can have horses in our lives, in all kinds of ways we may do so.
Go find your ways, you had enough advice here for a good start.
