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Having to give up riding

Riders with Health Issues
#1

Hi all,
This is my first time posting here, I could use some support from other horse people who “get it.” I am a 20yo rider who, like most, has loved horses from before she could remember. I owned and leased horses as a kid and through high school-- they were always around, even though my parents weren’t horse people. They were my sanctuary in times of trouble and I couldn’t imagine life without them. All day every day when I was not in school, I was at the barn. There were no “other hobbies.”

I sold my gelding shortly before I left for college across the country, where I joined my school’s dressage team and was fairly successful. It was a great experience, but towards the end of my college career, I became very ill with an autoimmune connective tissue disease that left me physically too ill to ride. I graduated this month and still have not been able to ride regularly.

I am currently unable to drive and spend a lot of time in bed. I am sometimes able to hold a job, but more recently, I have been too sick for that. When I get better, I hope to attend a PhD program, and I am not sure if I will have time for riding then. Financially and logistically, it just feels like such a huge challenge-- and thats not even including the physical part.

I am sitting here crying as I am slowly feeling like horses are no longer an option for me. I don’t know what to do. Horses have been my life, for my whole life. I don’t do anything else for fun, and I don’t have any other hobbies. I feel so lost and confused. How do you deal with having to take a long term break from horses? What other hobbies do you recommend? Is it worth it to even try them?

I feel like nothing could ever come close to horses. As the famous Ralph Waldo Emerson quote says, “riding a horse is not a simple hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole, and once it has done so, he/she will have to accept that his life will be radically changed.” I miss my grand passion.

#2

First, hugs to you in this difficult time. Is getting a small dog a possibility? It would give you companionship and when you get better, I’ve found that training dogs is a good substitute for riding. You are working with another animal toward a common goal. If you are into racing, there are virtual stables you could do on line. Also, once you are more mobile handicap riding might be some way you can have contact with horses, either as a participant or volunteer. Read horse novels. The Dressage Chronicles are very good! Do you have friends that are riding? Stay in contact with them. I have a friend with MS who no longer rides and we have great conversations about my horses.

2 Likes
#3

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. I agree with jherold, but also maybe sponsoring a specific rescue horse may help you fill the void somewhat. I have two horses, and have a soft spot for the hard luck cases. I can’t bring them all home, so I chose to sponsor a couple. I am passionate about mustangs, and their current plight. I found a rescue in our state that brings mustangs in from BLM holding pens and gentles them and adopts them out. They have two ‘sanctuary’ horses that are young, but lame, and cannot be ridden, and they have had a tough time finding them a home. So I pay to feed these horses every month. The cost is not very high, and it gives me a great sense of satisfaction to know I am helping. My sister can no longer keep horses, and she recently chose to sponsor a rescue in her area. Maybe something you could consider.

1 Like
#4

Hi PacificMustang,

Oh my. What a bummer.

I have been there, Multiple Sclerosis for me.

I had a span of around 5 years where I only rode once a year, and that was all I could do. I had four horses so I had to keep moving to feed and water them. I wore out an electric wheelchair doing that.

I still ride. I ride other people’s horses, lesson horses, or rather one 31 year old mare that is an “emergency” mount every three years or so, and I am trying to transform an exasperating dun QH gelding into a lesson horse. At the other stable I keep two horses realizing that they have to obey humans. I can only ride 30 minutes 3x a week at a walk with some trotting.

The key to getting back to riding for me (besides having enough money) was realizing that catching, grooming, and tacking up the horse left me much too exhausted to ride. I found two stables whose boss ladies catch, groom, and tack up the horse for my lesson or ride. In return I convince their horses that though I may be extremely weak, unbalanced exhausted, and uncoordinated, that they still have to obey me. At my lesson barn I have served as a rider to slooowly bring horses back to riding fitness, I find and work on holes in the horses’ training at the walk and trot, and I tell my teacher and the other lady what I am doing, how I am doing it, and why I am doing it whenever I introduce something “new” to the horse. The ladies also do not charge me for a full hour of riding (since it is hard for me to make it a full 30 minutes), so I can afford to ride.

My life goal right now is to ride horses until the day I die.

3 Likes
#5

When I had to give up riding due to rheumatoid arthritis, I took up driving. I had to be careful in choosing my driving horse, as driving can be more dangerous than riding. But with the right horse and equipment, this may be something you can look into as your circumstances warrant. Maybe try a driving lesson when you are able?

I had ponies so that grooming, harnessing and hitching were less of a strain. It’s helpful being able to reach across the horse’s back to reach the offside shaft.

Unfortunately I have now gotten to the point where I gave up driving, too. I’m not so sure I would have made that decision if my bombproof pony wasn’t due for a well-deserved retirement. Now, I just hang out with him, groom him more than he needs, and scratch all his itchy places. He’s perfectly happy not to be working.

Rebecca

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#6

I am so sorry for your struggle. What your situation is right now, does not in any way dictate what the future holds. Do not think that today is your tomorrow, it is not. My good friend with systemic lupus was very ill for a long time…many years, complications and medications later, she is improved. Got married at 50 and is very happy! Not home free, but happy. No one can predict your future, so please try not to yourself either. For now, as much as you can, focus on getting better, and stronger a little bit at a time.

I hope more people with encouraging stories chime in and offer you the hope that you deserve.

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#7

I truly feel your pain. On Sept 9th, I sustained a traumatic brain injury which we aren’t sure I’ll truly come back from. I got to basically learn how to speak again, lost 75% in my left eye (which has not come back at all), and my cognition isn’t 100%. This is my 4th major head injury (all horse related), but was much worse due to the mechanism of injury on top of the previous injuries. I had just purchased a brand new horse that I may now never get to even sit on. For Christmas, I asked my husband to lead me around on her. He dug his heels in the dirt and refused to be any part of that. If I fall, I could die. This has been such a hard transition for me. We bred Boer goats and most were over 150lbs. I had to sell all my goats because they were too large for me to handle. We quickly replaced them with Nigerians because I began to become anxious, watching all the animals I love leave for their new homes. I also sold my show horse since then and that compounded the pain. It helps to have indoor animals. We have 3 dogs that live inside, 9 cats that are indoor/outdoor, 6 sugar gliders, and currently 2 Emu chicks. To be honest, I usually get depressed around the holidays. This is the first year I haven’t! I could not be depressed surrounded by so much love.

I wish you all the best and don’t give up, no matter what.

5 Likes
#8

Sounds like with your plans (PhD) you’ll be too busy to do much riding anyway. You are young. Concentrate on your education and getting better. Take this time to educate yourself in horses also. Learn about feet, nutrition, etc… Watch films of the best riders in your discipline. You’ll get there.

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#9

Apart from seconding all the inspiring stories and support offered above, how about really digging into horse breeding and learning the WB and TB bloodlines? That is an intellectual game and an opportunity to look at and compare endless pictures of horses and follow performance and breeding success. Not the same as a real animal but a useful skill that you can take forward.

1 Like
#10

I understand what it’s like living through a catastrophic disease process.
i live with a genetic disorder that damages my lungs and affects my connective tissue & and a brain tumor and all of its crazy neuro effects. Riding and my connection to horses are as necessary to my well being as anything else.
i can message you my cell if you’d like to chat about anything.
(((hugs)))

cindylsanders.wordpress.com

1 Like
#11

Wow, thank you all so much for the support. It means a lot to me. I love some of the suggestions you have, and will look into them in the future. Driving sounds like it might be a lot of fun, maybe with a mini or two?!

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#12

@PacificMustang , I read your post and immediately thought of Scleroderma and wonder if that is what you have. If you prefer to answer privately, please send me a PM.

I had a wonderful friend who had Scleroderma and like Jackie Cochran above, she could not ride if she had to also catch, groom, tack up, untack, groom, bring back to the pasture. So I did all of that for both of us so we could take lessons together. My friend had times when her scleroderma was not flaring and we had some really amazing horsey times over the years.

If you do indeed have scleroderma, I am hoping you are under the care of a scleroderma specialist. Not just a rheumatologist, but a scleroderma specialist. It can make all the difference in your life, really it can. I work for the Scleroderma Foundation (www.scleroderma.org) and could help you find the right place to go, plus there are chapters all over the country. There could be one close to you where you could get some support and understanding.

I don’t know if it is a cold winter where you are and if the cold affects your disease (if it is scleroderma, it definitely does), but could you check out therapeutic riding stables – maybe you could be a side walker or you could groom horses on the days you feel up to it? My friend would often feel very good and she would join me – her on one side and me on the other – grooming. One of the lesson horses just loved that. He would almost purr!

Best of luck to you and I am so sorry you are not well.

SCM1959

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#13

I also am finding myself without horses or riding for the first time in my life, though I came to the situation much differently. I actually lost my horse to Potomac Horse Fever this summer, and though I have ridden a couple of times since then, I think I have lost a lot of my enthusiasm due to grief and the increasing pleasures of life. I have also gone back to grad school part-time to further my career, and have found that my time and finances are now crunched. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my involvement with horses is going to be very minimal for at least the next couple years, but I’m also in a serious relationship and by the time I’m finished my degree, I may be looking at starting a family or buying a house and it just might not make sense for me.

In any case, I cope by staying active in these forums. Reading horse topics that are of interest to me isn’t painful, and helps keep me involved with what’s going on in my favorite discipline (eventing) and horsekeeping in general. I second the suggestion to get a pet, if you’re able to take care of one. A small dog would be wonderful and keep you engaged, but if you don’t feel well enough, maybe an affectionate cat to keep you company when you don’t feel well enough to get out of bed. You can also watch competitions (many are live-streamed now), follow your favorite riders on social media, and possibly get out to competitions yourself as a spectator when you’re feeling up to it. I think even if your body isn’t able to engage, your mind is, and while it’s definitely not the same it can help you feel involved.

My heart goes out to you and hope that you are able to return to doing the things you love, even if it isn’t at the same level you were able to before.

#14

I feel your pain, I was diagnosed with severe epilepsy at a very young age, and I was forced to take a very long break from horses and it sent me spiraling into a very bad depression. I would hate for the same thing to happen to you!

The only way I was able to make it through was to go give riding lessons at a non profit riding lesson place it wasn’t exactly the cup of tea I wanted but my daughter was able to get lessons 3 days a week and I was abe to teach other children and adults how to ride. some I would have to lead the horse and instruct the rider on what to do others I’d sit on the mounting block or stand in the middle of the arena or walk next to the horse and instruct them it wasn’t hard work but the smiles on the riders faces paid off and filled my heart.

The only off part about that place is the owner had the people who came out even the lesson teachers clean stalls feed and water all the horses before any horses could be taken out to give lessons. He was just using the unknowing people to do the work he didn’t want to do.

If you think you could handle doing something like that, exception to the last part go for it, it’ll keep you close to horses and you will get to go home knowing your teaching someone else that’s just learning how to ride.

Another benefit to working there was a couple times we had collage students from China come out to get lessons they had never even touched or seen a horse in person before. They were so awestruck, that will forever be in my heart.

Don’t worry things will come around try and stay positive. Hugs to you!

#15

Is there a therapeutic riding center near you? Not necessarily for you for riding and working with the horses, which of course you could do. But centers often need volunteers, particularly with horse experience. There might be an opportunity for you to be able to work with riders on ground activities such as grooming, and assisting with lessons. Some of those activities can be done when your mobility is limited, including being on crutches or in a wheelchair. There are many kids with disorders such as autism who can benefit with one-on-one with an expert who can help them develop their skills and a relationship with their horse. Adults often enjoy having someone there with them, if only for moral support and conversation.

I hope, no, I know you’ll work something out to keep horses in your life. I got back into horses because I saw a local access TV show about a therapy center that happened to be leasing the kid’s camp across the road from my condo. 18 months later after we moved to the BO’s permanent farm, I was boarding my own horse and still volunteered in the therapy program. It was very rewarding to work with all sorts of riders, from kids with autism and intellectual disorders to adults with traumatic brain injuries and MS. We had a woman who was a mid-level eventer who had a stroke at a relatively young age and was very motivated to continue riding in some capacity. The horses were pretty chill about the whole situation which made it all the more enjoyable to watch and participate in the interaction between horse and rider.

Keep your chin up, we are all pulling for you!

1 Like
#16

I don’t what your preferred disciple is/was. As you are interested in minis and driving why don’t you look into inhand and inhand dressage as well? To be honest cat As are the size of large dogs. They build wheelchairs for off road so don’t worry about wearing a chair out

2 Likes
#17

I am 66 years old and have had horses all my life - they are my life! Unfortunately, I fell off my hunter while jumping and broke my hip a year ago. I had to have a rod put in my leg and was in bad pain for almost a year. Needless to say,I could not walk, much less ride. I had two horses that are great, although my OTTB was a little sensitive. He’s the one I always came off - not often, but when I broke my hip I had to believe I was too old to ride such a sensitive horse because my balance was not what it used to be. Finaly, after a year of grieving I sold my OTTB hunter to a young girl who shows and loves him to death.I still miss him every day. I kept my little 14.3 Paint mare who also jumps, but is very quiet and almost never spooks, although she is only 5. She was showing at 3, so she is very mature and steady for her young age. I also can get on her because she is short. My OTTB was 16.2 and I could not get on him anymore, even with a mounting block. Well, I sunk into a deep depression and also gained 30 pounds from no exercise and eating junk food, which depressed me even more.Finaly, I went for an eye exam and found out I had bad cataracts and my vision was horrible. I thought I just needed new glasses. To make a long story short, I had cataract surgery and implants and now see perfectly. The doctor told me my balance was bad because my eyesight was so bad -it was not because of my age. I also had a cortisone injection in my hip which took my pain away. I still walk with a limp and am out of shape but I believe I can ride again, at least on the flat. My husband has “forbidden” me to ever ride again which makes me furious. I am going to ride anyway. My husband has always been afraid of horses and thinks they are too dangerous. Well ground. , if I ride and get killed, I figure it is better to die with horses than to die in a nursing home of old age, LOL! So hang in there!!! You will get better. I you are not well enough to ride then work with horses on the ground. That will help. My prayers go out to you. Life can change in a minute. If you are horribly depressed like I was, seek help. It’s worth it. Good luck!!!

#18

Where does one go to learn this?

#19

You could start with Deb Bennett. She has a long series of terrific articles in Equus magazine on the foundation lines of a lot of breeds. Tons of interesting illustrations included.

#20

Oh of course! Thank you!

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