There are a lot of really nice horses that need riders. If you put in the time and work, you will likely have access to nicer horses than your parents are willing to purchase. Pros of not owning a horse:
I know quite a few riders that did drugs, drank, had sex with their trainers, other riders, and various grooms, etc. The horse/barn could be the deterrent or the “gateway drug” to bad behavior… 
Better to just not use this analogy at all.
To the OP - maybe a good idea to look into leasing first; it’s a great first step and doesn’t have the same long-term risk/cost factor associated with it (so it may appeal to your parents more). My daughter’s horse wound up permanently lame at 12. That’s a lot of bills and care for a horse that she can no longer ride; not all parents are prepared to care for a retiree for 20 years.
As someone who was in exactly the same shoes as you (except my parents couldn’t afford to own a horse), here is how my life panned out. If you had told me to wait 10 more years before I could own a horse, I would have cried my eyes out back then. My dad was super supportive of my riding habit but my mom wanted to me focus only on my school work and hardly ever took me to the barn. I’m talking less than 10 times in my entire life. When I was grounded by my mom, I wasn’t able to go ride but could still watch TV & hang out with friends. Don’t even get me started on how much nicer my mom was to my brother. :lol:
My only advice is that if you can’t convince your mom, then focus on the positive, otherwise it will knock you down. There are other options to consider besides owning.
Age 10-15, I found someone nearby who had horses but no time to ride. I rode 6 days a week, helped with stalls & feeding. All for free. I had to pay for lessons and gas when the owners took me to shows. But the extra costs of owning a horse was never something I had to worry about.
Age 16-18, my trainer bought a farm within an hour from me (felt like forever of a drive back then lol). I would drive there every Friday right after school, stay the weekend, and come home Sunday night. Then during the summer time, I would stay there for 2 weeks at a time, come home for a week (so my parents knew I was still alive), and go back for another 2 weeks.
Age 19-21, “half” leased a few horses (paid a monthly fee, rode 6 days a week, but didn’t have to pay for any other costs) and also had a trainer with a busy lawyer client, so I rode her GP schoolmaster for free whenever she couldn’t make it out to the barn. Now that I think about it, this was the absolute best deal for me. I most certainly bonded with this horse as if he was mine but never had to worry about money.
Age 20-22, at one point I bought a horse after I had half leased him. He was leased out for a year because I couldn’t afford him. When he returned, I did self-care and had to half lease him out because it was still a lot of money.
Age 23-26, rode lesson horses, half leased a horse, bought a house, ya know, adult stuff.
Age 27, I finally have a horse of my own and while I can afford him, I spend a lot each month on his care.
Basically, my point is that while it sucks right now, you have a lot of time ahead. You will eventually become an adult (it sucks btw lol) and you will be able to make your own decisions without your mother’s permission.
Funny… now that I am an adult, my mom is more “supportive” (using that word very lightly) of the horses now than she ever was.
Try to lease a horse at your barn. A lease sounds like good middle ground for your family. Perhaps you could also look into a place closer to your home, that would alleviate needing a ride from your parents.
If you can eliminate the reliance on your parents for rides and all the horse related expenses, you stand a greater chance of getting what you wish for. I hope you do!
Interesting how people will have very different experiences in life, right?
Not sure where you collected your data, I am assuming you are just sharing your pen personal experience,
My experience was quite the opposite, in fact I did most of my teenage drinking in my horse’s stall at a boarding stable.
Maybe try not to generalize so much. Share your story, but don’t speak for all.
Get a job and lease a horse, it will help you in the long run, and you can “trade up” till you reach a certain level where you can bring along your own horse.
For the record, I didn’t have a horse or any barn to hang out at until I bought my own horse at about age 19. But stayed out of trouble as parents simply wouldn’t allow me to hang out with the “wrong” crowd through high school. My first close up observation of underage binge drinking was around age 19 at a private barn behind the home of a horse friend who had grown up there and some other young folk, some around 14, who also had horses at their homes in the same area. I boarded at that private, backyard barn. They were shocked I was 19 and didn’t want to drink with them.
In the almost 50 years of horse ownership since then, seen it all good, bad and ugly. Some of the worst of it at horse competitions where parents think the horses are keeping their tweeners and teens out or trouble so they don’t supervise or pay attention to who is supposedly supervising. Some young people made some horrific decisions about relationships and substance abuse that turned out wrecking their futures at a tender age just as non horse involved kids do.
IME, horses are no better or worse then heavy involvement in any other sport at keeping kids out of trouble, they keep them busier but don’t replace good judgement and parental or qualified adult involvement…by that I mean not the so called “adult” trainer/teacher/coach/clinician/barn manager or even other parent who buys the beer for the teens or tries to date them. Yup, seen it all.
Its not the most compelling argument for horse ownership.
Well if the barn you currently take lessons at cannot provide you with an appropriate lesson horse, then it may be time to switch barns.
OR leasing a suitable horse may be an option.
What is it about the lesson horses that “aren’t cutting it”?
What will you do if the horse you buy “isn’t cutting it”? You can’t just switch them like you can a lesson horse.
So … some things to ponder.
…And so when was the last time you told your mom THANK YOU when she dropped you off at your lesson?
Or said THANK YOU randomly throughout the week to your mom and dad for allowing you to take lessons?
Or did the dishes without being asked.
Or carried in the groceries for your mom without being asked.
Etc.
And if your sister is the one getting dropped off at tennis and not you, how do you know your mom doesn’t complain to your sister about dropping her off at tennis?
Truth be told, I see a lot of “whining” from you in this original post. Maybe you did not mean for it to come across that way, but it does. If you aren’t already, start making the extra effort at home. Do things without your parents having to ask you. THANK them for allowing you to have horses in your life. Show 'em what a good kid you are.
And in the end, they may still not buy you a horse. And that’s not up to you, it’s up to them.
I was fortunate enough to grow up on a farm/ranch and we always had horses. Now mind you I also put in my fair share of farm work including picking rocks. Some city folks may not know what that is but it’s when you walk in a field, alongside the tractor and when you see a rock, you go pick it up and put it in the tractor bucket. Then repeat for the next 8 hours … or sometimes the next few days. And rocks usually aren’t small.
So I certainly put in plenty of long hard hours of work for getting to live the lifestyle we did and have horses. My daughter is only 15 months old but you can bet she is going to spend summertime with grandpa and grandma when she is old enough and learn how to pick rocks too!
OP, how wealthy is your family? No, don’t answer me here. This is a question for yourself. If they are wealthy (and I don’t mean middle class wealthy - I mean top 10 percentile wealthy), you may try to get your trainer to talk to your parents. The only way to get them to buy a horse for you without you mucking stalls all day long is if your parents are super competitive, and they want to see you winning ribbons in horse shows.
I have seen teenagers with a string of fancy horses. They are incredibly fortunate to be born in ultra wealthy families. That also means their parents are incredibly competitive - imagine the stress the parents put on the children.
If you are in this group of families, start taking your parents to horse shows and see whether they will get hooked. If yes, you are golden. If not, well you are out of luck.
Also remember, you are incredibly lucky already that your parents allow you to take riding lessons. Count your blessing. Don’t expect more. Work your butt off if you want more riding time. This is a good time for a reality check.
It may not be pointless, but it is costly. And I think this is the area that you’re not really seeing, the financial parts - which I’m sure is the part that your mother is seeing. Horses are expensive to buy, but even more expensive to own. I could give you a break down of what I pay each month for my two hunters and it would stagger your mother. And that would just be their care and board, not showing, clinic or lesson fees because those are things I chose to do outside of their necessary care costs. If I added the two together, I could pay a mortgage on a beachfront vacation home :D. In my situation, I have to board because I work and own a separate business, so I have no time to do self care - or any desire to do it.
I agree that a lease would be the best situation for you right now and not ownership.
Get a job or volunteer at a barn and learn the side of horse ownership that includes cleaning stalls and paddocks, feeding, grooming, etc. Then decide if horse ownership is for you. My parents told me I’d be the one doing all the work if I got horses, and I did it even when I was a child. If your horse is to be boarded, then you need to factor in more expenses and either do more chores around your residence or do work at the barn to help offset expenses. As an adult, I boarded and I saw 6 or 7 preteen girls come there 5 days a week after school and work hard for a few hours before they could ride their own ponies and horses. Those girls worked hard. Other girls did not have to work so they showed up and rode and left. The girls who worked were much more appreciative of their equine and had a great work ethic.
Advertising?
I’m not selling anything there, just a networking link to offer my own insight into my first horse experience. Please delete if not allowed but since there’s nothing to sell I didn’t deem it advertising.
My parents could not afford a horse, so I bought my first horse when I was 35, and my kids and I had a wonderful time doing pony club. It feels as though you MUST have a horse of your own, but lessons or a lease are great alternative.
(Can anyone explain the title of this thread? It makes no sense to me.)
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