If you’re excited to go on the weekends, let that be your goal! It’s not supposed to feel like a slog, do what you need to keep it feeling like a positive addition in your life.
The commute from home/work to the barn isn’t feasible for me during the week; my weekend mornings at the barn are what I work all week for, so to speak.
At this stage for you (and really anyone else), I think there’s a lot of benefit to keeping it positive.
You don’t currently need to be riding your young horse on a daily basis, let yourself take it easy and go for lessons on the weekend to keep yourself in riding shape.
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I’m also an adult ammy with a full-time job (WFH) I also do not have the flexibility to ride during the day and have to ride after work.
I definitely struggle with motivation in the winter when it is cold and dark out at 4:30pm. I find it gets harder every year as I get older. As much as I love to WFH, I think it can make it harder to get motivated to go to the barn after work. It is tempting to stay at home in my comfy yoga pants, in my nice warm house, and cuddle with my dog.
I think there has been some good suggestions so far. Maybe commit yourself to a schedule that becomes routine - ride Tue/Thur/Sat/Sun. I find when I am mentally prepared in advance for something, I am much more likely to do it. So if you know that every Tue/Thur is your barn night, you are more likely to follow through.
Also, I have upped my lessons from 1x per week to 2x per week (1 weekend, 1 weekday), as I find myself more accountable in lessons. Without the challenges I face in a lesson, I can find myself giving in to w/t/c, rinse, repeat, done in 20 min weekday rides in winter.
Let us know how it works out for you. Sometimes it’s just nice to know you are not alone!
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I will say that for me, personally, I feel it’s important to make peace with the fact that many times it IS a slog. Especially with a baby horse. It’s going to be a long road and a lot of work, and you have to learn to embrace the struggle. Probably the worst thing you can do is tell yourself it’s supposed to fun/it’s not supposed to be so hard, because then you just feel guilty and ashamed on top of the struggle!
I also recall seeing advice on this forum that was something like, “this hobby is too expensive not to enjoy it.” I felt called out by it at the time, because it is so true—horse ownership IS expensive, and many aspects of it are NOT enjoyable. But now that I’m 3 years into owning, I look back at that advice and think, honesty, anyone who believes that should probably lease. There is just no world in which horse ownership is pure joy. That is not to say it isn’t worth it—to me, it 100% is—but every single day, there are aspects of it I do not enjoy. And some days I literally cry. I still would not trade it.
Re: the point “who says you need to ride every day?” I don’t personally agree that 2 days a week is enough. I’m sure it’s fine for a BTDT horse you know is getting light use in the barn’s lesson program, or ample turnout and your own riding goals don’t demand much fitness. But for a baby in training? That’s not setting them up to succeed. You could be the best trainer in the world, but if you only do a session here and there when you have time, you aren’t being fair to the horse. You owe it to them to stick to a routine and provide structure. ETA: I do agree the work does not (even should not) be daily riding. Groundwork and in-hand work is also key.
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I read once that it takes 30 days to establish a habit , which makes sense
100%! It should be fun MOST of the time, or it’s not worth having as a hobby. But no hobby in which we want to improve or, in this case, improve our horse, is a cake walk all the time. And we DO have to learn to enjoy the struggles, or at least accept them with peace, as well as the successes, or the struggles will turn to frustrations that easily take center stage over the (likely more) fun times
I too have cried over struggles because sometimes it’s just freaking hard.
The OP isn’t even riding the baby this Winter (I wouldn’t either, he’s only 2.5), just knowing she needs to keep riding on some level in order to start working with him in another 6-ish months
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I hate this time of year, like HATE it. The dark, the cold, the crappy wet weather and lack of sunny days. I’ve struggled with motivation since I can remember to get out and ride during the “holiday season” so this year, I’m giving myself the grace to take the entire month of December off. I’ll get back at it beginning of January and be in fine shape for any spring shows I plan to do.
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Agreed. I have a baby I’m starting, as well as two other riding horses, and this time of year it’s just freakin’ hard to find time and motivation to do anything other than meet their basic needs. They are out 24/7 in a herd of 5, unless the weather is horrendous, so they are plenty happy. I have an indoor, which adds to the guilt of not working them when I know I CAN. But I have come to peace with not doing much with them for the 6-8 weeks between the end of daylight savings and the solstice/new year. The problem with where I live though, is that once the days start to lengthen again is when the deep freeze really sets it. So really, they end up being mostly off the whole winter. I’m becoming more ok with it as the years go by - I enjoy them as pets during this time, let them go a bit feral, let whatever end-of-season niggles they may have heal up, and then leg us all back up in March. The one thing I’m trying to be better about this winter is working out so that I don’t lose as much fitness when I’m not riding consistently.
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Don’t make any big choices or conclusions about life after daylight saving ends. It’s akin to the very good advice I was given decades ago about not taking any of your feelings too seriously after dark. Winter is just a couple of months of After Dark.
I’m in a self board situation so I need to bestir myself every.single.day but the barn is 5 minutes from my condo and I don’t necessarily ride every day. Some folks there will put their horses into a full board or field board situation elsewhere over the winter but it’s hard finding field board in our winter rain and sometimes horses lose a bit of condition in those circumstances.
The responsibility of feeding every day gives me enough of a kick that I go do it.
When I was starting up in lessons 15 years ago I was squeezing a lesson in at a barn near work before teaching. There were many days that felt like a slog getting there but I told myself that I would feel so happy once I got on the horse, which was true. A bit like when you have planned a trip but the taxi ride to the airport in the rain at 5 am is just overwhelmingly miserable, let alone all the airport checks and lineups. You just have to say “one foot in front of the other” because you will be so happy to get off the plane in your destination.
That said, you really have to find your own motivation and joy in what you do. I suspect I am the exact opposite of a people pleaser so my advice may not be so useful. But for me it’s really important to peal away any residual shoulds, or shame or guilt and focus on what makes me feel joy.
That said, riding in the dark in the winter is hard and I’ve been fortunate enough that I’ve never needed to do that consistently.
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I did this one year. Actually, I think I took two months off. It really did relieve all that pressure. And I was ready to ride at the end of my little break.
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Yes! The only time I can consistently make myself work out is when I wake up and do it before work.
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It sounds cheesy, but even 20 minutes of stretching/walking a day can make such a difference–and even if you can’t make it to the barn or can only do groundwork and stuff, it’s still better than nothing! (Echoing what others have said about just hacking on a horse–sometimes it’s easy to set the bar so high it’s overwhelming for what we should be doing, when a little bit every day goes a long way).
While that’s not untrue, sometimes we use up all our discipline on things like job and family, and it’s hard to summon discipline for a hobby when we’ve been pushing upstream nonstop in the rest of our lives.
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My MIL always said never make big decisions between 10pm and 6am. And I still follow this advice to this day.
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Thank you everyone for the (mostly) kind and thoughtful responses and suggestions, they were very helpful and much appreciated! The fact that many of you can empathize with me makes me feel a bit better. I completely agree about the changing into riding clothes before I need to leave suggestion! I know that when I do that it makes it so much easier to sign off and walk out the door as soon as I can.
Just to clarify, I’m not currently riding my 2.5 year old. I do handle him and do ground work regularly but am in no rush to start him. My hope is that he is my forever horse, so I’m just enjoying the process of having a baby horse!
@BadTB - Thank you for sharing your experience with your baby! Honestly I started out the same way, and just worked with him for the first year doing ground work/manners. Luckily I have a bunch of friends with young horses, and have seen how hard they’ve worked and how much they’ve struggled. I knew after watching them that I needed to be riding regularly to be ready for my guy.
I love the idea of picking one additional day to start and making that the day I ride as a routine. That makes it seem a lot less overwhelming and manageable. I’m thinking I’ll make Wednesday my day and then continue my lessons on Saturday.
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Discipline is actually what has us do things that we would otherwise not do because we’re tired/stressed/simply don’t feel like/bored. We don’t use up discipline, but we can quickly and easily use up motivation. Discipline kicks in when motivation is in the toilet. Discipline doesn’t need to be summoned 
Every person who is successful in anything, has gotten that way because of the discipline to do the things even when it’s easier not to.
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The baby is the motivation, believe me, you’ll likely need the fitness. I rode a veteran jumper mare twice weekly for 8 months while waiting to get going on a baby and while my other horse was rehabbing. I wish I had ridden more. Oh boy. You’ve just got to go do it like anything else. I think we set ourselves up for failure in thinking that the barn should be this spiritual experience that matches the reality of instagram. But most days in our barn there are frustrated riders, fresh horses, limping horses, cranky trainers, broken tack, a filthy restroom, etc. We don’t expect other things to be all roses, the barn for me is the same. I consider it an extension of my workday when I am not taking kids someplace. That has helped me to keep on keeping on in the winter. Good luck, I certainly empathize!
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At this time of year, my motivation is directly proportional to my fears of the consequences of my inaction 
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Is there a friend or barn mate that you can ride with ? Might help, similar to having a gym buddy for accountability.
100% If I don’t keep my 7 year old OTTB in regular work, the winter will be VERY long and unproductive. Just thinking about his antics with time off gets me to the barn at the end of the work day LOL.
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I do! I’ve asked her about her availability to help motivate!
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