So help me out guys because I’m going nuts. I’ve been riding a year and finally want a horse of my own. I take care of horses every day and I am in my 20s so no need to lecture me about looking into leasing or whatever. So I understand I need help and my boss, the one who owns the horses I take care of is putting down every single bombproof one I show her and it’s just making me discouraged. Either it’s not the “right breed” or “it’s heads too high it wouldn’t be good for you” I feel as if she’s taking it into buying it for herself. I just want to trail ride and possibly do shows but that’s it. I’m just getting discouraged and honestly just don’t even want to continue looking at this point.
Well depending on what kind of shows you want to do sometimes a good trail horse doesn’t necessarily make for a competitive show horse or sometimes a show horse doesn’t make a good trail horse, and other horses fit the bill perfectly. Your boss is probably looking out for your best interests in making sure the horse you purchase is good fit for your experience and wants as far as trail and light showing. Sometimes people find a horse right away, others it can take several months or more before the right one is found
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Sorry, but your boss’s reasons - “head too high” & “wrong breed” - make me suspicious that she has too narrow a view of suitable horses.
Would I be wrong if I assumed her “right” breed is QH & she is judging head carriage by Western Pleasure standards?
Depending on how competitive you are & how much you care about showing, there are going to be a whole lot of horses she won’t approve.
What discipline are YOU wanting to show?
Is winning when you show your top priority?
If trailriding matters more to you, breed should not be that important.
I’ve ridden TB, TWH & WBs on trails - all happy in that job.
The TB was also my (successful) Show Hunter, he also “ran” barrels (slowly - for fun, not prizes) he & the Walkers & WB also did Dressage.
Members of my Carriage Club have Draft breeds - Halflinger, Percheron & crosses - that can be ridden on trails & in the showring as well as driven.
Your goals in riding should outweigh her seemingly narrow boundaries of what will work for you.
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“I am in my 20s so no need to lecture me about looking into leasing or whatever.”
Ok.
Good luck.
It might be, that after only a year, your boss knows that YOU can’t possibly know what your goals will be for ownership. She knows that your skills have not developed yet. She knows that you cannot see conformation and aptitude.
But you’re in your 20s and you’ve got it all set. So rock on with yer bad self 
…
ETA, You may wish to read this thread:
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Well, I see no need to be quite so snotty as the post above.
A few things -
Ask your trainer what you should be looking for. What exactly does the trainer think is “the right breed” for your goals? There are so many possibilities as to motive without knowing more. She may be absolutely right with her response, but if you don’t really know what to look for it won’t help you find the right horse.
And - depending on what you’re finding and what kind of showing you are interested in - it might be true that you’re selecting for some of the wrong things. Bombproof on a trail doesn’t necessarily make a good show horse, and vice versa.
And, price matters. If you’re looking for $1500 and under…you’re going to be hard pressed in some places to find anything suitable. If your budget is $5K you have many more options; $10K even more so. That’s just reality.
So…what kind of showing are you interested in? What is your budget? What general area are you in? Even without offering a horse for sale (which is against forum rules) - people might give you some ideas of what to look for within your budget.
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Ok so I’m 22, taking lessons the past year and have rode when I was younger and I’ve talked about leasing before but I think I’m ready to take the next step. She wants me to get a 10,000 dollar top notch quarter horse when all I want to do is trail ride and continue working on my lessons. So I know what I want to do. I know I’m capable of taking care of a horse. I have a decent budget of 5k and am open to breeds, and even rescuing. I found really nice crosses but she immediately cuts out the idea as they won’t be registered. And ive explained it’s not that big of a deal.
I have my best friend helping me explaining which horses are good when I show her and I’m fine with the help, I just don’t enjoy the whole being put down every chance I try to show her something. She doesnt like anything other than quarter horses . She wants me to not get this one for a great price from a great place just because “his head is too high for HUS” . When I don’t even want to do that
“She wants”?
Find another horse-savvy mentor.
Your BFF may not be giving you the best advice either. What is her experience?
Your current boss is putting her Wants over both your budget & your goals as a 1st-time owner.
She is not listening to what you want and that makes her of little use in your search.
Also:
When you say you’re ready for the next step, will your budget cover board, shoer, vet & still allow for What If emergency costs?
Purchase price is the least thing you need to consider. The ongoing costs are no way optional.
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No one here knows you or your skills or riding ambitions, so it’s impossible to know whether the barn owner is being unreasonable, or is actually protecting you. “Riding for a year” could mean 1-2 hour a week in lessons on deadheads, unstructured trail riding with no instruction, or you could be cantering with no stirrups on challenging young’uns. No one here can know, so any advice will be based on a whole slew of assumptions.
Fair warning, since you are new to COTH, the general predisposition is concern for safety and the horse’s well-being first, and rider ambitions take a back seat. So don’t take offense if most advice is slanted in those directions, and it may not align with your view of the topic.Take it with a grain of salt, and keep an open mind because you’ve asked advice from a forum full of very experienced horsepeople.
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I’m not sure how you think we can help. The problem appears to be a mis-match in desires, expectations, and budget between you and your trainer. Until the two of you can get on the same page or you go find a different trainer who can accept and work with your desires, expectations, and budget, there isn’t really any solution to your problem.
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I’m not going to quibble with your friend’s ideas since I truly have no idea what your abilities and needs ‘really’ are. I’m just going to add some things you need to consider.
You are learning to ride. When someone is teaching you to ride that someone does have some preferences to a type of horse they prefer to ‘teach’ with. So do YOU like this person’s teaching? their style of riding? Be asking yourself some hard questions here. A blanket statement you want to trail ride AND do a few shows doesn’t tell us much. What kind of classes at what kind of shows?
There are packer type horses where someone passengers and just stays on. Then you need to change mounts as your abilities progress. So this is a huge factor with ownership. A horse has to have enough capabilities that a trainer can advance a student to be able to learn the finesse of better riding skills. I’d say a teachable mount needs to be able to bend and balance when a rider learns the appropriate aids. A horse that rides like an ironing board is not going to be able to teach someone to become a skilled rider.
Yes you do need someone with an eye for a teachable mount. And you also need someone who has enough experience to not fall in love with anything that has 4 legs and a tail. Or 3 legs and a soft nose.
I could agree a high headed horse may be tight and stiff, resistant and not soft mouthed. By degrees you don’t want a peanut pusher either. I think you need more education because you don’t seem to have a grasp of what you have yet to have to learn. You also could get lucky and find a nice good going little mount for yourself, but that would be luck from the sound of the way you present this dilemma. Is there anyone else you know that you can hash this out with?
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When I got my current horse I enlisted a couple of knowledgeable people. One was my local veterinarian. She was the most helpful. I told her I wanted a horse to train dressage but I had no plans for the Olympics. I found a nice horse within my budget that she thought was “the best one you’ve shown me.” (Video) The other person helping me look was my friend’s daughter who is a hunter/jumper trainer. She didn’t like my horse “too coarse for me” she said… But he suited me just fine, so I overlooked her opinion and went with my gut (and also a clean PPE). You have to listen to someone knowledgeable so you don’t get an unsuitable horse, but you need to do what’s right for you and take advice with a grain of salt. You can take a horse on trial if you find one local too. That way you can get some further experience with the horse to reinforce or negate your first impression.
if you need to stay in good standing with your boss/trainer then it might be more politically correct to find a horse that meets most or all of their criteria.
At the times I have purchased horses I didn’t have trainers, just got them later. Therefore, no one to answer to but myself. Worked out OK, but it doesn’t for everyone. Therefore, most of the people who have seen this not work out pretty often here in this forum tend to be more cautious in advice.
We had a good looking, nice conformation QH sell at the ranch recently, went for under 5K. Great trail horse. You should be able to find what you want without spending a bundle.
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I have neen through this with a good friend. Every.single.horse advert she sent me was a strong no. I didn’t say anything more than, “That would be a good horse for me.”
As predicted, the horse that we found for her, she was ansolutely not interested in as chestnut.
She arrives at my place to say we are going to go and see both horses.
I say no. The horse you want is a firm No. I am working this afternoon so we can only see one as in different directions. I will only go and see the horse I picked.
He was perfect and has not put a step wrong yet and he is very pretty with a flaxen mane and she loved him from first sight.
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Wholeheartedly agree. And said much more politely than I did.
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Well, still hard to know her motives.
As your trainer and employer, her reputation is involved in this as well, even if unintentionally. If she’s a known QH trainer with a barn full of registered horses, and you buy something else for different goals, it may be difficult for her to reconcile. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, just a reality thing.
She may also be thinking that there is a possibility you may want to resell or part lease the horse at some point in time, and the breed/registry would make a difference.
If you talk to your trainer and you are still in different places about what you want and can afford, it seems like you should be considering a different trainer. It’s totally fine to have differences of opinions about riding goals, but seems like it will be extra difficult to have them in the same barn with an employer/employee and a trainer/client relationship.
That’s one reason I keep my horses at home. My short boarding experience didn’t go well - I liked the trainer well enough as an instructor, but we had very different ideas about horse care, and disciplines. She didn’t hate my horse, as long as I only rode it the way she wanted (e.g. my mare is trained English & Western but the barn was only English. I got her into a beautiful little western jog in a lesson and said “look at this!” and the trainer said “I don’t EVER want to see THAT again.”) But more importantly, we had vastly different opinions about turnout, feeding, and a variety of other non negotiable (to me) things.
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You mention this is your boss, but you never call her out as being your trainer. In your second post, you mention taking lessons – is this the same person?
You really need to take a step back and evaluate what your goals are and where the people in your life are coming from - you’re 22, empathy should be developed by now.
From the way your original post reads, you take care of all the horses at your bosses place. Is this a trainer? Does she own the facility? Does she show? Are you expecting to board your horse at her facility? Do you have a truck and trailer? If not, is she going to be hauling you around to trail ride and occasionally horse show? Are you expecting to work in exchange for board/lessons/hauling/etc?
I ask because the horse world is very superficial, like it or not. If you’re expecting board, trailering, etc - I assume at a discounted rate since you “work” there - then, really, it’s not unreasonable for your boss to be judgmental about what you’re picking out. If you’re going to be in her group, then you’re going to be a reflection on her which will impact her business - negatively or positively. If she isn’t running a backyard barn, then she doesn’t need a backyard horse there - taking up a stall and reflecting poorly on her business. That isn’t a slight against you or the horses you like or anything else, it’s just the reality of the world.
I don’t understand why you’re so against leasing. So many people do it and it’s such a good option, especially since you’ve never owned a horse or shown before. It allows you to experience the first steps of your “dream” of ownership and showing without the total commitment. If you were moving to a new country, would you buy the house sight unseen having never visited before, or would you call up a travel agent and spend a couple of weeks in some different neighborhoods with a realtor visiting houses before you chose? It’s the same thing with horses - you truly won’t know until you get some experience under your belt and a lease is a really good way to dip your toes in without being screwed if you choose wrong.
FWIW, I’m a paint person - which are basically colored QHs. A good horse is never a bad color, or breed, but based on your posts it doesn’t sound like you know WHAT you want to do - so I do commend the trainer for going with a versatile breed. Her comments about it’s head being too high also might be her way of trying to save you from embarrassment if you ever do go show. Benefit of the doubt here.
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Another thing to consider is that your boss may attend QH breed shows. If you buy a horse without papers, you can’t show at any of the shows your boss goes to. That may sound fine to you now as a beginner, but 5 years down the road, you may be unhappy with that situation. If you’ve expressed a desire to show, as you did here, she may be trying to protect you.
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Is this your only job, working for this woman taking care of her horses?
Do you live at home or rent or live at the barn?
Do you have health insurance?
Do you have a car?
Thing is buying a horse is the cheap part.
It’s when you get hurt and can’t work, or your car dies, your parents kick you out of the house, or the horse gets injured or sick that you really need to budget for.
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Or she’s trying to make sure you get a horse you can resell, and since her connections are show connections it makes sense that she is steering you towards a horse she could market, if the need arose, for you more easily.
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OP, at riding for one year, even with experience as a kid, you are still a beginner.
It’s tricky buying a horse as a beginner. You need a quiet older horse, and in the lower price ranges there are many sweet.horses. But they are not show horses.
In the lower price ranges there can also be high quality young or green prospects who will eventually be good show horses, but are not safe or appropriate for you now.
To get a horse that is both safe for a beginner and show quality is going to be more expensive, because they are less common and everyone wants them.
OP as everyone has said, if you are in a show barn taking lessons aimef at competition, you pretty much have to buy a horse that fits the program. If you were a random boarder shopping for a barn for a trail horse, you wouldn’t be welcome in a competition barn. And if you had say a serious dressage horse you wouldn’t want to keep it in a Western pleasure barn, or vice versa.
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