Help! Need a urgent advice!

[HungarianHippo]

Pretty sure the OP is not coming back, doubt it’s worth the effort to continue to offer advice/feedback.

[gottagrey]

@thebiggrey

I’m going to echo Scribbler’s idea here because I have seen this a few times. I think looking into how her mental health is doing would be incredibly beneficial.

I know someone who was horse obsessed, always wanted a pony, and would spend forever finding one that was perfect. She had a pony as a kid and sold that one when she out grew it. The issues came up when she was an older teen, and was more independent and less involved with her family. She bought this one horse, had it for a month, and then all the sudden freaked out saying she never wanted to see it again and made the BO sell it before she came back to the barn. Did not help sell it, wouldn’t even say goodbye. I think she had a bad ride, maybe fell off? And then decided she was done.

Then, years later, she tells us she’s buying another horse she loves from a ranch she worked at, and we all told her no, this is crazy. Horse travels thousands of miles to the farm, shows up and she liked it for about two weeks. Stopped showing up at the barn, some people rode it for her in hopes she’d come back and enjoy the horse. This time BO told her she had to sell it and pay for it while she tried to do that. Then she nearly sent it to an awful home so the BO took over and sent it to a friend who actually gets a lot of use out of him.

Sorry for the the long winded response, but I think checking into her mental health and maybe seeking help would be the best bet. There’s someone on here that has a signature (is that what they’re called?) that mentions fixing yourself instead of changing the horse and tack.

This doesn’t sound like a mental health issue as much as parents indulging their daughter. Unless she was emancipated with a trust fund, how did this teen run around and buy a horse and “make the BO sell it” Parents would’ve or should’ve been involved in the purchase and selling of any horse.

[Scribbler]

@gottagrey

This doesn’t sound like a mental health issue as much as parents indulging their daughter. Unless she was emancipated with a trust fund, how did this teen run around and buy a horse and “make the BO sell it” Parents would’ve or should’ve been involved in the purchase and selling of any horse.

The part that is strange for a young adult is the lack of problem solving abilities and not being able to see the end goal. And impulsive behavior. With tweens you could expect that. With young adults, something isn’t firing on all 4 cylinders.

We certainly have COTH adults write in about how their anxiety or depression or grief is keeping them away from the barn.

[thebiggrey]

@gottagrey

This doesn’t sound like a mental health issue as much as parents indulging their daughter. Unless she was emancipated with a trust fund, how did this teen run around and buy a horse and “make the BO sell it” Parents would’ve or should’ve been involved in the purchase and selling of any horse.

Oh, her parents certainly did not help any situation by purchasing the first two horses for her. They knew nothing about horses, in fact they basically hated them, and were on board with the BO selling it so they could stop paying the bills. That’s why when she bought the last horse with her own money, and had to pay the bills, the fall out this time wasn’t nearly as catastrophic.

I think the aforementioned situation just exacerbates how mental illness was the primary issue. Daughter was difficult at home, so instead of helping her deal with her emotions they bought a horse for momentary gratification. It masks the symptoms for long enough, but they eventually come back, hence the major break down and forcing the horse to be sold.

Im no psychiatrist, but I’d have to think if this girl had her mental health checked out, they would see some mood disorders. She was known for making big decisions too quickly and then regretting them. Maybe if she had help processing, she would have been able to have a healthier relationship with her parents and no horse would be passed around so often.

Just a thought. Mental illness is super important to consider and take seriously.

[gottagrey]

@thebiggrey

Oh, her parents certainly did not help any situation by purchasing the first two horses for her. They knew nothing about horses, in fact they basically hated them, and were on board with the BO selling it so they could stop paying the bills. That’s why when she bought the last horse with her own money, and had to pay the bills, the fall out this time wasn’t nearly as catastrophic.

I think the aforementioned situation just exacerbates how mental illness was the primary issue. Daughter was difficult at home, so instead of helping her deal with her emotions they bought a horse for momentary gratification. It masks the symptoms for long enough, but they eventually come back, hence the major break down and forcing the horse to be sold.

Im no psychiatrist, but I’d have to think if this girl had her mental health checked out, they would see some mood disorders. She was known for making big decisions too quickly and then regretting them. Maybe if she had help processing, she would have been able to have a healthier relationship with her parents and no horse would be passed around so often.

Just a thought. Mental illness is super important to consider and take seriously.

I’m not disputing mental illness could be an issue but I think lack of parenting/structured environment is at the heart of many of these issues we see with this generation of kids. Seems like now parents/MDs are so quick to jump on the give them drugs vs. just structured environment. I certainly don’t remember this number of kids having issues when I was growing up or those coming up after me. Sure there were kids that were troublemakers or had issues but not in the number we’re seeing now.

[thebiggrey]

@gottagrey

I’m not disputing mental illness could be an issue but I think lack of parenting/structured environment is at the heart of many of these issues we see with this generation of kids. Seems like now parents/MDs are so quick to jump on the give them drugs vs. just structured environment. I certainly don’t remember this number of kids having issues when I was growing up or those coming up after me. Sure there were kids that were troublemakers or had issues but not in the number we’re seeing now.

There’s definitely multiple sides to the issue, however we’ve strayed from the purpose of the post so it’s probably best we put the topic to rest. I’d be interested in discussing this further if you’d like, I just don’t want to clog up the forums for more important matters.

Thanks for your calm and structured response!

[gottagrey]

@thebiggrey

There’s definitely multiple sides to the issue, however we’ve strayed from the purpose of the post so it’s probably best we put the topic to rest. I’d be interested in discussing this further if you’d like, I just don’t want to clog up the forums for more important matters.

Thanks for your calm and structured response!

thanks and agree

[ParadoxFarm]

@xeroxchick

So do I need to watch this Heartland show?

Everyone has to at least watch SOME Heartland.

[Beck]

@ParadoxFarm

Everyone has to at least watch SOME Heartland.

Oh please don’t make me! (Which of course is because I have seen some.)

[Nathine]

A horses heart is where its mouth is. It’s not a dog (some dogs) that bond to a person no matter what. Horse Movies portray horses as loving, intelligent, protective, and will go through hell and high water to take care of their owner. What girl doesn’t want such a companion. Sadly I have yet to meet that horse that will follow me like a dog, (unless I have carrots), will unlock the barn and open the bedroom window so it can sleep with its owner, or will come running when it has its head buried in an alpha shank. It’s a horse, a large animal that will often spook at mailboxes or garbage cans, think a piece of paper caught up in the breeze is the spookiest thing ever, and be obstinate the next day because it had a bad night. Sadly the sister had unreasonable expectations, wanted a friend, companion, something that would bond to her and her alone. She does sound like a loner and is attempting to use a horse as a substitute for a friend. If you do find such a horse, I’ll take one too.

[Foxtrot_s]

teenage hormones???

[meupatdoes]

This whole family sounds like spoiled, impulsive people with a tenuous grip on responsibility and a poor grasp of boundaries.