Hello!
I have a sister, she loves horses for already more than 14 years, since she could walk. Almost for 9 years we loaned her a horse. And 2 months ago we (family) bought her a horse. She had everything to take care for a horse , she earned money. She wanted a horse since she was 9, because most of her barn had a horse. And now she is 18. We thought thst she could easily take care of a horse.
Recently everything changed, we went to many barns, chose a horse she wanted. She pickd him out herself.
Eveything seemed ok, but a week after she got sick and couldn’t go to stable for a week. And the horse kind of gut used to trainer there. He walked after the trainer. And my sister kind of got mad about that , and now she doesn’t go to stable at all. She said that she hates horses and wants to sell her horse. We don’t want to agree with that, we think that it would be a bad move - selfish of herself.
What to do? Should we be okay with her selling her horse, or should we make her accept her new resposibilities? What would you recomend.
Thanks in advence!
Well, if this is a real post…You can’t force this teenager to care for a horse she does not want. You can pay for the horse to be boarded and see if this kid changes her mind. Or you can lease the horse to someone else. Or sell it.
No one can really give you advice since you are a new poster on an internet forum.
This can’t be real. ?? If so, she’s 18, and “adult” that you can’t make do anything. Who OWNS the horse? That person can do whatever they wish.
- This is not an urgent situation. It’s not even important. Your thread title claiming it’s urgent will only irritate the people here that you’re asking to help you. Or you’re a troll.
- your sister has every right to sell the horse and it’s not a selfish decision whatsoever.
Um. If this is real, she is 18, an adult, and if she (not the family) bought the horse, by all means she can sell it. And if she gets upset over the horse following someone else, quite frankly that’s ridiculous and she shouldn’t own a horse anyways. She obviously doesn’t understand it takes time and effort to bond with a horse (and some never do). Probably best if she sells the horse. Hope he or she lands softly.
This sounds like a post from someone who speaks English as a second language, or at least that’s how I’m going to answer it. If the sister is throwing a tantrum because she thinks her new horse likes the trainer better than her than she IMO, shouldn’t have a horse because she’s way too immature. So if that’s true, and it was up to me, I’d find the horse a home with someone who would appreciate him and let the sister buy her own horse when she grows up enough to deserve a horse.
I’ll take the High Road here (in light of the Princess Pony thread - RIP):
@SpiritCorgi Are you the little sister in this scenario?
If so, bravo for caring about your sister.
But from what you’ve posted, she needs to grow up & does most certainly NOT have “everything to take care of a horse”.
Her reaction to the horse’s “following” the Trainer is childish at best.
To claim to hate an entire species based on her disappointment in a single horse does not speak well of her as being a sensible horseperson, let alone adult…
After owning for a mere 2 weeks & absent from the horse’s life for 1/2 of that, she should be glad he seems to be seeking out people instead of turning away.
After so short a time & in a new environment, the horse has no idea who the owner is.
Even if said horse was resident in that stable before your family purchased him, he cannot read a Bill of Sale & does not k now your sister is his new owner.
IIWM, I’d sell the horse ASAP - bet that Trainer can find a Buyer.
Show this thread to your parents so they can understand how experienced horseowners reacted & advised.
Lastly:
As @HungarianHippo said: Nothing in your post is urgent.
If you expect people to take you seriously remove that word from your title.
Sounds like your sister and parents need to have a discussion about this horse. If she’s no longer interested then have the trainer sell it or just give it to the trainer if she can use the horse. Sometimes it’s best to just find a good home and forget getting any money out of it as often you spend way more on monthly expenses when you hold out for top dollar. There is no reason why you, OP need to be involved unless you want this horse.
it doesnt sound like sister is as passionate about horses as the OP says she is.
Sounds like an episode of Heartland I watched the other night.
LOL. You may be right.
If it has any reality in it, I would wonder whether the teen owner had a bad scare at the barn, either from the horse or the trainer, that she won’t discuss.
If there is nothing like that going on, I would wonder if there was undiagnosed depression or mood disorders.
It’s also possible that the parents are quite aware of whatever is happening, but not sharing it with the siblings.
If this is a real situation, OP, then trust your parents to handle it and perhaps to know more about what is wrong with your sister than you do.
Well, Olivia was jealous of the barn help who her horse bonded with (Budget Buster) because the barn helper actually gave the horse treats and was there while Olivia was a sterotypical rich kid who didn’t come and bond with her pony!
Haaa.
Yes, OP, speak to your parents.
:lol:
I will have to ask my 10 year old daughter if she has seen this episode. I have had to debunk a lot of stuff she has seen on horse shows, because she comes to me with some of the craziest ideas and information from them :lol:
Yup. Also it’s pretty common in much entertainment to show adults or young adults behaving like tweens. This is done for humor in shows that are aimed at adults, and as a matter of course in kiddie shows.
The behavior reported by OP is odd and troubling in an 18 year old. But the behavior is not uncommon in tweens or younger children. They will often go off a sport, hobby, piece of clothing, for reasons they are ashamed to admit, like fear or embarrassment or anxiety or social conflict, but have a false excuse so they don’t have to admit the real problem.
So one of the false things kids get from these shows is that adults flounce around like spoiled 11 year olds.
I think the Heartland episode is behind this post, especially since the OP has not been back with any details.
???seriously??? reported to mods
Drives me nuts, as my 10 year old really wants to believe what she sees on the shows she watches, so doesn’t really believe me when I tell her that at lot of it is pure fiction.
Yeah one day she pulled out a couple of lead ropes and grabbed my horse out of the pasture and said she was going to teach her to lay down. Um, no darling, you are not :lol:
Seems like it’s time to get her some actual horsemanship videos!
I’m going to echo Scribbler’s idea here because I have seen this a few times. I think looking into how her mental health is doing would be incredibly beneficial.
I know someone who was horse obsessed, always wanted a pony, and would spend forever finding one that was perfect. She had a pony as a kid and sold that one when she out grew it. The issues came up when she was an older teen, and was more independent and less involved with her family. She bought this one horse, had it for a month, and then all the sudden freaked out saying she never wanted to see it again and made the BO sell it before she came back to the barn. Did not help sell it, wouldn’t even say goodbye. I think she had a bad ride, maybe fell off? And then decided she was done.
Then, years later, she tells us she’s buying another horse she loves from a ranch she worked at, and we all told her no, this is crazy. Horse travels thousands of miles to the farm, shows up and she liked it for about two weeks. Stopped showing up at the barn, some people rode it for her in hopes she’d come back and enjoy the horse. This time BO told her she had to sell it and pay for it while she tried to do that. Then she nearly sent it to an awful home so the BO took over and sent it to a friend who actually gets a lot of use out of him.
Sorry for the the long winded response, but I think checking into her mental health and maybe seeking help would be the best bet. There’s someone on here that has a signature (is that what they’re called?) that mentions fixing yourself instead of changing the horse and tack.
So do I need to watch this Heartland show?
who is the WE here. If this situation exists it is for adults to take over.
You cannot make someone comply to your expectations.
