Clearly, this pony has not been allowed to express its soul via the KFH program, and now it’s behaving like… a pony.
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Oh…one of those assclowns who has a guitar and probably hauls it out at every gathering, unasked, because he’s sure everyone is dying to hear his musical stylings.
“Hey, I hate to tell you this, but I had to invite Klaus. He overheard at the office that we were having a party and I couldn’t think fast enough to tell him he wasn’t invited. Sorry”
“Oh GAWD. Did you at least tell him to leave that goddamn guitar at home? I swear, if I hear one more butchered Eagles or Led Zeppelin** song, I’m going to throw that guitar over a cliff. I’ll find a cliff if I have to.”
**Because you know he tortures people with Stairway To Heaven. It’s a given.
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What is it with all these hack guitarists?
No, playing the guitar does not make you sexy. No, you do not have undiscovered talent. NO, we don’t want to be forced to listen to you!
Here’s my story:
My husband and I were both teachers, and a fellow teacher named Fred invited us and a few other teachers and their mates over for a BBQ. After dinner, we were all sitting around the fireplace when Fred pulled out his guitar. He started strumming away, and launched into “House of the Rising Sun.” He growled and wailed like an alley tomcat.
We were all speechless.
Next he begins-- I kid you not-- “Back in the USSR.” More wailing and earnest strumming.
About the time we were wondering if we were trapped in some hellish concert, Fred seemed to have a thought and said, “Don’t know about you guys, but I’m a big fan of classic Creedence…”
My husband reached over, grabbed the neck of the guitar and said, “Can we just talk?”
And thus the music stylings of Fred the Troubadour came to an end.
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It is hard for me to think of two songs that could not be covered well at all, more than The House of The Rising Sun and Back in The USSR. I can only imagine the pain inflicted on the innocent listeners.
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If you can’t explain the “technical details” then it’s not a good training program. Unless of course, you just want to watch videos of pretty horses. Trainers and instructors are supposed to give us their knowledge to improve our horses. We need to know the details of how to accomplish this.
During my dressage lessons, I remember specific instructions such as “weight your left seatbone as you apply the leg aid an inch behind the girth” followed by the why this would make a difference in the way my horse was moving and responding.
If you can’t understand what the trainer is doing (since he’s not explaining it) or how to accomplish it yourself, then you have nothing.
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Your husband is a bona fide hero.
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Oh, now don’t you go confusing things with all your dressagey and riding mumbo jumbo! that’s heresy. Heresy, I say!
What’s really important is: Can you lead an aroused breeding stallion from his stall? Or chase one across a field, and then have it stand and paw at you? That’s what’s important you penniless plebe!
Now please consider hiring me as a life coach or attending one of my seminars. Because I need a new pair of suede ankle boots. And a set of guitar strings.
/s 
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My husband is a guitar hero. Saving party goers and first date victims alike, one interrupted lame solo at a time.
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Well, I’ll never possess charisma, so I guess I shouldn’t have been riding and training my horses for decades? With the guidance of many wonderful trainers over the years, my horses always progressed well. They were very loved, cared for and happy. According to Mr. Hempfling’s “program”, I apparently should never have even approached my horses.
Sorry to be so blunt, but no serious horseperson is going to follow someone like Mr. Hempfling. There is no there there.
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Ok, you’ve convinced me of the error of my ways. How much do you charge?
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Ha! Hope he doesn’t read this board.
You’ve never ridden dressage, have you? Don’t answer, it’s a rhetorical question.
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It’s like self awareness flies out the window with the acquisition of a guitar.
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The real guitar heroes.
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Try this. Not happening, Mr. “YouTube Hempfling”.
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OMG. I cracked and watched the Hempfling guitar video. I don’t even know where to start. It’s an ad for his life coaching enterprise. I wasn’t going to give any more clicks to the click bait but I was weak. All I can say is, that song does not mean what you think it means.
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OK. I thought I could catch up with this thread, but I can’t take anymore. This is so obviously marketing and not a true desire to discuss “training methods.” I don’t see anything here past a couple of basics mixed in with a bunch of music, verbose word salad and basically calling us meanies because we don’t treat our horses right and won’t bow down to the all-knowing Master of Horsemanship.
So, I’m out. I’m in awe of the COTHers who have more patience than I. I’m afraid you’re facing a losing battle.
Goodnight, Klaus. Nice try but no cigar.
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Wait a minute, I noticed the Animals video above and thought this thread must have taken a more interesting direction when I decided to check out. Sure enough, there appear to be recipes!!
May I please come back in?
TIA
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Yeah, there’s a cream for that….
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