I’m a little late to the party, but also live in NC (the Sandhills area) Horse keeping in our part of the country is much less labor-intensive than New England or the Midwest.
As others have said, efficient layout is key. Minimizing steps-per-day, maximizing things like mud-control and low-maintenance fencing, and having realistic expectations are what make a hobby farm fun and rewarding, as opposed to a time-sucking frustration.
We have about 8-12 horses on our small farm at any given time. We have 6 stalls and the rest live out with run-in sheds. And when weather is mild, the riding/show horses may still spend 23 hrs/day outside, only coming in for meals.
I’d say winter is the most time-intensive period for farm and horse care. We average 3 hrs/day during the winter months (blanket changes, horses spend more time in stalls, etc). In the summer, all horse care can take :30-1.5 hrs/day. Additional farm chores (dragging, mowing, weed whacking) probably average another 4-6 hrs/week.
Having the right equipment makes a huge difference. Using a tractor to drag a large pasture is SO much faster and less frustrating than hand-picking all the piles. Invest in smart fencing with lots of gates up front, and a single string of hotwire over the top boards can save you tons of time in the longrun as the horses aren’t abusing the fencing so much, requiring fewer repairs.
If you live in a relatively horsey area, finding farm help isn’t a big deal, so vacations, dinners out, etc are still pretty easy to arrange. If you teach your horses to accept some flex time in their schedule (e.g dinner can be fed between 4pm and 8pm) then working around your other commitments is no big deal. As others have stated, the less handling of the horses and the less stall cleaning required, the less time the day-to-day tasks will take. And if you are willing to accept some weeds in the fenceline and don’t hold yourself to magazine-profile-standards, farm maintenance doesn’t take long either.
Definitely consider if you want to be able to ride at home, as that will require additional consideration when setting up the farm (arena, tack room, etc) and when planning, design for growing needs (that potential mini donk, you might want to breed in the future, or take on an additional riding horse, retiree, or husband horse). --we moved to our current place with just 4 horses and no intention of adding more than 1-2 to the herd.
I adore having my horses grazing out my living room windows, and never want to go back to boarding. However having a farm is a significant financial and time investment, so it’s good you’re carefully considering what’s involved. If you have friends or acquaintances with small-ish hobby farms, ask if you can go spend an afternoon with them. See how they’re laid out, and ask what the owners would change now that they know more. Volunteer to help with the chores to see how long it takes, and if you’re physically comfortable with them. I know I LOVE talking about my farm, and would be happy to show someone what we did that works well, and the things that don’t. I’m sure other proud hobby-farm owners are the same.