We bought a 10 year old (now 11) Arab a year ago. For me. I’m older now 
so not as fearless as I was when I was 20! So I was shopping for a SANE, safe as safe can be anyway for a horse, no buck, no bolt, no rear type of Arab. I’m an ex-endurance rider so I love the Arabs. I have never had a “hot headed” one that people talk about. I’ve had some that love to go but I don’t see that as “hot”. Anyway, I have a 22 year old that I love riding but she’s getting arthritic and I know her riding days will be ending one day so I was looking for a younger one but trained and ready for trail riding. This one I ended up buying was GREAT when I went to trial her out. Bold, never really tested me, secure. I fell in love with her. Over the months she started to become less secure but still ok. A few weeks ago she started to spook and spin. She doesn’t go anywhere (she doesn’t bolt) but the spinning has me a bit un-nerved. I noticed that she has been also trying to eat trees and shrubs when we pass by them. Ignoring me. My confidence is in the dumper with her. today was the second time my husband rode her. I decided to have him ride her since he’s the confident one and can really ride them! The first time he rode her, she spun on him but he acted like it was NO big deal and just ignored her and got her going on the trail like nothing happened. Today she didn’t spin at all but did a couple of good spooks but again, he just kept her head in line and asked her to move out and keep going which she did. She never even tried eating trees or shrubs with him!!! He said I’m just too soft on her and I need to RIDE her and let her know I’m the boss, not her. She tested him today!!! It was kind of fun to watch. She balked and that didn’t work for her. So then she did a big spook, that didn’t work for her so she decided it was just easier to just go down the trail. He never had to get heavy handed with her at all, just asked her to go where he wanted her to go and she said, “ok”. When I told him, “she never even tries to eat the trees with you!!” He said, “yes she does, you just can’t see me reining her over and keeping her in the middle of the trail so she doesn’t get the chance to eat the tree. I’m telling her, NO, you are not going to the tree!”
He wants to put several more rides on her before me again. He’s just so confident and I don’t know if I’ll EVER be that person again. I’m not super timid but I’m not that super confident rider that I used to be. I think she’s pretty forgiving. She doesn’t hold onto her fears. If I make it thru a spook, all is forgotten by her and off we go once she gets a moment OR sees what it is. But she feels my lack of confidence. My friends say that it NEEDS to transfer over. If my husband rides her and gets more confidence in her, I NEED to be able to replicate that. If not, then I’m back where I started with her. We don’t want to sell her. She is quite solid, goes thru water, no questions asked, bogs, ok with bikes, dogs etc… She doesn’t like it when things come up behind her but neither does my 22 year old.
This might not be the horse for you. Can you take lessons somewhere? Even better if at some point they can go out on trails with you and the horse. Have you done groundwork with her? Again, something a trainer can help you with. If,with the help of a trainer, you can’t get more comfortable and ride at the level this horse requires, it’s a bad match.
As for her eating on the trail…let her go to eat, and then put her to work. Every time she grabs for a bite she gets put to work. She will learn that it’s not worth it.
It’s always a HUGE bummer to find out a horse needs more than you can give. I don’t think anyone did anything wrong… She was obviously well-schooled when you bought her, and you felt good on her and made a good decision accordingly. But horses often change under a different ride. If you can’t/don’t want to change with them, the partnership comes to an end.
In this case, you’re clear on your limitations in terms of confidence. You can see the horse get better with a rider that can offer it. But you don’t believe you’re up to that challenge. Nothing wrong with that. At all. However, you can’t expect the horse to step up to the plate. All that happens now is you get more worried and she gets more spooky. You don’t need to get hurt to prove to yourself that she’s not the one.
If you don’t want to sell her, does your husband like her enough to make her his horse?
Take some lessons with a reputable instructor before you
decide to end things with this horse.
Every horse is different, they will test any rider, and especially
if they doubt your leadership or confidence level.
It could be that you are doubting your skills with her,
she senses your doubt/lack of confidence and its becoming cyclic.
All good horses take patience, time and hours in the saddle.
Particularly since you just got her,., shes testing you:yes:
She’s not for sale - we have already made that decision. Yes, husband will ride her, no problem there. And I think I’ll be able to step it up. I have in the past and this horse is NOTHING like the last one I had that I finally did get rid of. Lessons here are useless and a waste of money. You’d think since I’m in a horsey area, there would be ample trainers. They either will ONLY take your horse and board them at THEIR facility and work them solo - rider NOT invited OR it’s arena work only. No trail work. I had a horse (that’s where I kind of lost my confidence) that was a bucker and bolter and I took lessons from several people and basically thru good hard earned money down the drain. I was so pissed with the last one that I left mid way thru. She was NOT understanding that I have NO issues with arena work and same with this horse. This horse is schooled quite well - just very smart. But the trainer insisted that it would transfer over onto the trail. Well it didn’t and I don’t believe in that. EVERYTHING is different on the trail. smells, things moving in the trees and bushes… you can learn how to deal with a spook but it’s not going to stop them from doing it. You have to take it as it comes, step by step…
I did have one trainer take my last horse out and husband went with her on his horse. I didn’t like her tho because her idea before going out on the trail was to run the crap out of them in the round pen beforehand. And I was supposed to do that each time!? Don’t think so. That’s not helping them. Husband’s horse did one of her signature spooks and the trainer gasped and said, “I would NEVER ride that horse!!! That horse needs hours of round pen work.” OMG!!! Husband said, “whatever.” Needless to say, that ended quickly. The horse never bucked with her tho He was too tired and sweaty and partly lame on front end because she pushed him so hard in the round pen and he fell down. So, no “trainers.”
I’m with the other posters – if she’s substantially better with your husband aboard, it’s not the horse, it’s the rider.
You can learn the skills to project solid, confident leadership (it takes time, practice, and alertness, but none of it is rocket science). These skills do not come from some inner mystical wellspring of confidence, but from being observant, having good timing, and managing to correct your horse promptly and consistently. All of that stuff you can learn to do. It has nothing to do with who you are internally and everything to do with how you ride.
You can learn to be more predictively-observant so that you can redirect a horse’s intentions to more productive activities before she’s actually “being bad”. Look at the “grabbing trees and eating them” problem. You don’t wait to fix this until she’s got the tree in her mouth. If she’s eaten the tree, you’ve lost. The tree-munching should be nipped way in the bud (lol), back when she first thought about eating the tree. Keep her busy and occupied and on-task so that she doesn’t have TIME to consider eating trees. This is the strategy your husband is (successfully, it sounds like) using: When I told him, “she never even tries to eat the trees with you!!” He said, “yes she does, you just can’t see me reining her over and keeping her in the middle of the trail so she doesn’t get the chance to eat the tree. I’m telling her, NO, you are not going to the tree!” He’s preventing the issue by giving the horse something else to do – being predictively observant and proactive. This is not so much a feature of his character as it is a skill that he knows how to do. It’s a skill you can learn to do, too.
If, previously, you’ve ridden fairly well-broke horses who don’t test the edges of behavior very often, you may not have had to develop a toolbox and skills for keeping on top of a horse who tests the edges of what I think of as the “Good Boy Box”. Fortunately for you, this mare does not sound like she’s super-pushy because it took her months to slide… and honestly, she probably slid a little bit at a time, in ways that you ignored or let go, ways that you didn’t feel were “important” until you got where you are now. From your description: “Over the months she started to become less secure but still ok. A few weeks ago she started to spook and spin. She doesn’t go anywhere (she doesn’t bolt) but the spinning has me a bit un-nerved. I noticed that she has been also trying to eat trees and shrubs when we pass by them. Ignoring me.”
In reality, the “less secure” was not “still ok”. It was “I don’t think my rider is paying attention and she doesn’t seem to notice or care if I give things the hairy eyeball. At the last place, it was all work all the time, no funny business. Back there, if I gave stuff the hairy eyeball, I got Extra Leg Yields, Shoulder-Inning on the trail, or half a mile of stride 10-5-10 trot-walk-trot sets, but this lady doesn’t seem to notice hairy eyeballing… so I don’t have to manage my spook impulses so much. Cool.”
The “started to spook and spin” is “My rider is OK with the hairy eyeball and there’s no extra work when I do that or scoot forward suddenly… so how about a booger-n-spin? What happens if I do that? Nothing. Actually, now she’s up there being very still, quiet, and deer in the headlights. Wow. At the old place, that crap got me a one-rein stop and a very, very busy ride for the next twenty minutes. Leg yield right, leg yield left. Shoulder in ten steps, flip to haunches in ten steps. walk, trot, walk, trot, halt, trot, halt, trot, it was bloody exhausting… but here, nothing. Gotcha. I know which way the wind blows now.” (The world is just as scary today as it was six months ago. It is not magically more scary out there now.)
The “eating trees and shrubs” – “Last place I was at, there was a strict NO EATING rule because saddle time was work time and if I even thought about eating, they’d head me off at the pass and hand out extra work instead of munchies. This lady doesn’t hand out any extra work for skitters and spins so… maybe it’s OK to eat too? Let me see how that goes. munch munch Hey, cool!”
Honestly, the best person you have as a resource for this project sounds like it’s going to be your husband. If you have a trusty horse you feel safe on, ride with him while he rides the mare. Have him talk to you about how he’s riding and what he’s doing (all the time). WATCH him ride her. If you can ride beside him (instead of in front or behind) that’s best. Odds are good that he’s doing about five times as much “riding” as you think is happening – much of it fairly small and subtle. Yeah, he’s seeing the world and stuff, but he’s also paying attention to his horse and keeping her on task and so forth… and probably doing more of that than you think.
I think you probably can learn to ride this mare the way she needs to be ridden, but it’s going to take work from your end of things to level up your game. Continuing to ride this mare without trying to level up… I wouldn’t recommend that… but seriously, use your husband as a resource, here.
I agree it’s a rider issue. Trail riding can be a bit like “untraining” because the rider is not actively riding all the time, many times the rider is just passengering along and the horse is following the horse in front of it. So the horse ends up “taking the reins” and starts being the decision maker. I’m guilty of it myself when I ride with my friends and we get to yakking.
When I trail ride, I make sure I am constantly asking my horse to do little things that show the horse is listening and paying attention, such as giving to the side, lowering the head, a little lateral work if possible in wider areas. I also do arena work on days I don’t trail ride, and do some scary obstacle stuff on those days.
I think part of it is that you are (unconsciously) comparing her to yr 22 yr old whom you have built up a long partnership. No way she can measure up to that confidence you have in yr longtime partner. I sympathize, I hve a 24 yr old and dread ever going to a new mount
Some arena work my help, like riding her over/by obstacles (a tarp, swim noodles, etc) so you develop trust between you in a safer setting. Then trade her back and forth with yr husband so ou and she don’t slide back.
Persevere! I think you will work out a good relation with her.
One thing, have her eyes checked to see if she might have any issues. Also, could yr feed be giving her more energy than she needs?
