Horse People are Crazy?

[SmartAlex]

I’m not talking about the obvious scenario when some delusional woman displays a wide range of human folly and mental instability as we all like to talk about. I’m talking about defending the hobby to someone who doesn’t understand why anyone would spend this much time and money and hard work on an object that can’t be put away under a dust cover and brought out on a whim when it’s convenient. Or the person who has never put a leg over a horse yet vehemently denies that schooling a jump course or a day spent fox hunting or working a saddle seat show horse is “exercise”.

But people are crazy in many ways. Some women (or men for that matter) enjoy daily grooming of their hair and skin and nails to be the picture of health and physical perfection.

Many men love to tinker with engines because their minds understand how all the systems work together to create speed and power.

Some couples practice ball room dancing or the tango because they take satisfaction in the rhythm and repetition and precision of learning and performing a routine with a partner so they appear as one mind and it looks effortless.

Athletes have grit and dedication to train their bodies day after day to push past the wall and run long distances reaping the health benefits and the unique runner’s high.

Scores of people, every day, revel in the adrenaline rush of jumping out of an airplane and not knowing for sure if this time the chute will open and they will enjoy a unique view of the earth through God’s eye. Or if they will instead crash to the ground and die.

But other people prefer just to sit quietly and admire a work of art for its symmetry and beauty and subtle variations in color. An expression of the beauty of life.

What if I can do all those things, experience all those emotions and physical feelings, but all it takes me is a few hours and a horse?

Who’s crazy now?

[MojitoMare]

I like it! Thanks for this.

[ChasPonyCat]

There seems to be a special emphasis on the “crazy” in horse people, and especially in horse women (who, obviously, make up the largest portion of the horse world). Earlier this year, I stumbled upon something online about “horse girls” and how they are crazy and essentially not date-able, women having horses throws up a huge red flag, etc. When I first stumbled upon this I was like, “huh?” and ventured further into the world wide interwebs to see if this was indeed widespread feeling, and it seems that “horse girl” has become a relationship trope. I know that this thread is not intended to talk about the true crazies but…I think that, to those outside the horse world, the crazies unfortunately may define it.

This is maybe taking the thread in a bit of a different direction than OP intended, but it reminds me of a recent thread on here where COTHers were discussing introducing horse to SO, dynamics of relationships with horses, etc. Granted, I think we all know some crazy horse people. I mean, we all do. But when I first learned of this trope, I felt kind of inexplicably bad. It’s not like I should care, and it’s not like I’m interested in what people think of me in a dating sense, since I’m happily married and DH, while he doesn’t ride, thinks pony is just dandy and is fine with the chunk of monthly change spent on him. But still, I felt a little bad. Like, do people just automatically assume the worst about me because I’m a “horse girl?” When DH and I started dating and he introduced me to people, were they like, “oh, one of those…?” This stuff on the internet would have you believe that’s what people think of you.

However, this internet search also proved the existence of the “crazy” horse person, the one that this trope is undoubtedly in reference to. I found all kinds of horse women who ALWAYS put their horse in front of SO, in front of job, in front of family, in front of any kind of other financial obligation. Then I actually understood where this trope came from, and I understood that I was not one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my horse and I am obsessed with him. I love him, I love riding, and when I’m not riding I read and watch videos about riding. But if, say, I had hungry kids (which, I don’t even have kids, so YAY and hypothetical situation obviously) and it was either feed the kids or keep the horse, you know what the decision would have to be.

This digression has a point (I think) which is just to point out that there is this perception of horse people being crazy that floats around in the world. And I mean, we do spend a lot of time and money on this hobby, this sport, this passion, whatever you want to call it. But I figure that if I didn’t spend the money on pony, I’d spend it somewhere else or on some other hobby, plus it makes me really happy, gives me something to look forward to, and is mentally stimulating. I know that OP specifically stated that this was not a defense of the horse crazy person we all like talking about, but I think that the crazy from those people permeates the normal horse world to outsiders.

Also, even if it’s really frustrating, you can’t blame others who are not involved in horses whatsoever for not understanding all of the above feelings and satisfaction that goes along with it, along with the bodily strength required and exercise element involved. Before I ever started running, I thought basically along the lines of, “running? Pshaw. How could anyone like that? That’s crazy.” Then I started running, and I understood it’s appeal.

So while, yes, I understand the frustration, you kind of can’t blame people for not understanding…nor should you let it bother you.

[myleetlepony]

OP, can I copy and post this on FB (with your COTH handle, of course)?

[meupatdoes]

@SmartAlex;8381736

I’m not talking about the obvious scenario when some delusional woman displays a wide range of human folly and mental instability as we all like to talk about. I’m talking about defending the hobby to someone who doesn’t understand why anyone would spend this much time and money and hard work on an object that can’t be put away under a dust cover and brought out on a whim when it’s convenient. Or the person who has never put a leg over a horse yet vehemently denies that schooling a jump course or a day spent fox hunting or working a saddle seat show horse is “exercise”.

I don’t bother with these people.

The second anyone starts trying to put me in a position of defending my life choices, be it spending money on horses or is riding even a sport or the number of dogs I own or the hoopty old truck I won’t sell or whatever, I just write them off, say “Mmm hmm, ok” and leave the conversation. They are literally not worth it.

I mean, someone you are married you who legitimately feels you are shirking the joint retirement contributions because you just imported another horse and WHAT WILL WE LIVE ON WHEN WE ARE 90 is one thing.

But some loser at the water cooler with no social skills who coversates by needling people about stuff?
Nope.

[Hulk]

I don’t bother with these people either. I am at the point in life that I feel no need to vindicate my lifestyle or choices to anyone. I believe life is for living and I am not into self denial. I don’t say I cant do that, I say how can I do that. Just my personal mindset. And yes I do live in my own little world, but it’s a happy place and I like it there. Better than living in Debbie Downerville.

If this makes me crazy, I am ok with that. But honestly I think when people get all nasty about the horse thing its more about their envy than your choices. And as far as men go, find one that accepts you the way you are. I don’t believe in a relationship where its all about the guy and his things, and how a good wifey stops all that and settles down to do more important things. Yeah, I refuse to buy into that mindset.

I also think society likes to put labels on people who step out of the norm, so if it makes them feel better, go ahead call me crazy or horse crazy, I don’t mind.

[2DogsFarm]

Pretty much agree w/meup :yes:

You have to admit though that having horses puts you in a kind of “1%” demographic.
Unless you live in VA Hunt Country, your hobby tends to make you the oddball.
In my nearly 30 years of owning horses I’ve rarely experienced anything other than friendly curiosity from family, friends & coworkers.
My urban pals love coming to visit & feed treats - my farm is a Destination

[Countrywood]

Imo, choosing to own and ride horses puts us in an "oddball " category…maybe like extreme skiers or surfers or the like. But not even like them…they have to be great athletes to do what they do, and face the dangers they face. A rider can be a low skill ammie to a great athlete, yet both face the same danger, just being around horses on the ground presents a danger (which we willingly take on, but still. ) and then there is the unending expense, which unless one is wealthy or very secure really does eat into finances and can impact long term stability.

So I don’t blame some people for being wary of or not wanting to get too involved with a person who has such an all consuming, expensive, and at the same time potentially dangerous hobby/passion/sport.

That said, I’ve seem many horsewomen of all ages with devoted bf or husbands who don’t ride themselves but support their woman’s hobby, may enjoy coming to the barn etc. Perhaps out west it is different where horses are more part of the culture and men participate in rodeo and cutting etc, but this is mainly an English interest COTH board and fewer men ride English which leaves more women as the flagship brand for horse lovers.

[JustTheTicket]

I used to get that “oh, you’re a horse girl” thing from boys. I still do, actually, and I don’t even ride anymore.

I think that horse girls are just as crazy as anyone else in any other hobby or sport. For example, I’m starting to get into distance running. People that already do that and are super into it are, to me, exactly the same mentality as “crazy horse girls.” Their lives revolve around this hobby, and so naturally they talk about it more than people who aren’t into it would like, and they probably spend a lot of money on it. So really the crazy thing all depends on perspective. Every single hobby has those people. If you’re not even a little bit into that hobby, you find their intense interest bizarre. I don’t think horse people are more crazy than skiers or runners or skydivers.

[Countrywood]

Unfortunately, I think horse people are a little more crazy then even those with extreme hobbies or sports…if their sport does not involve an expensive, living animal. A skier can decide not to ski for six months. They may miss it, but nobody else is affected. We can’t just walk away from our horse for six months. We still need to provide care and pay the bills. And even if we decide to stop riding, and own a horse, we still are responsible for it. These days, it’s nearly impossible to sell or even give away many aging horses, so it’s a long term responsibility…it really can drain finances , may be worth but it really can do that.

[JustTheTicket]

You can walk away from riding, though. Put the horse in a field with a round bale and that’s the equivalent of putting the dust cover on the motorcycle. Horse people have a tendency to think they’re (I’m not quite sure how to word this) the most dedicated to their chosen sport ever. But everyone who is really into what they do thinks they’re the most dedicated. Its just hard to get perspective on it when all you do is the horse thing, but trust me, everyone is crazy.

[Countrywood]

Put the horse in a field with a round bale? If you board and don’t own property, that is not an option. I’ve been looking into retirement board, any place that seems halfway decent charges $350-$450 a month , with $400 an average.

Many people are highly dedicated to their sport but responsiblity for a living animal with expensive needs adds to it…even a horse in a field with a round bale needs hooves trimmed etc and if something goes wrong there are vet bills to pay. Throwing a horse in a field and ignoring it is not dedication it is neglect, but am assuming most here would be extending some care to it beyond throwing more hay out.

[SmartAlex]

@ChasPonyCat;8382500

Earlier this year, I stumbled upon something online about “horse girls” and how they are crazy and essentially not date-able, women having horses throws up a huge red flag, etc. When I first stumbled upon this I was like, “huh?” and ventured further into the world wide interwebs to see if this was indeed widespread feeling, and it seems that “horse girl” has become a relationship trope.

That’s often because the man is jealous of the horse. My Ex-Husband falls into that category. Face it, we have “a relationship” with our horses. Thankfully I was up to my eyeballs in horse shows when I met Mr.SmartAlex so he knew what he was getting into.

@myleetlepony;8382678

OP, can I copy and post this on FB (with your COTH handle, of course)?

Of Course

[SmartAlex]

[QUOTE=Countrywood;8383045]
Unfortunately, I think horse people are a little more crazy then even those with extreme hobbies or sports…if their sport does not involve an expensive, living animal. A skier can decide not to ski for six months. They may miss it, but nobody else is affected. We can’t just walk away from our horse for six months. We still need to provide care and pay the bills. And even if we decide to stop riding, and own a horse, we still are responsible for it. [/QUOTE]

Exactly! There really aren’t many sports besides hunting fowl that have an animal as an equal partner. I wonder if Dog Sledders have the same stigma.

[cschattner]

Ya I don’t bother with people like that.
There is a reason I have given up on finding someone. Every guy I meet feels that animals are disposable and not worth keeping around. Sorry buddy but my pets are family and you can go to hell.

[Countrywood]

lol…I have had many good relationships but none lasted as long as that I have with my horse…maybe that says something about me ?

[RubyTuesday]

[QUOTE=meupatdoes;8382869]
I don’t bother with these people.

The second anyone starts trying to put me in a position of defending my life choices, be it spending money on horses or is riding even a sport or the number of dogs I own or the hoopty old truck I won’t sell or whatever, I just write them off, say “Mmm hmm, ok” and leave the conversation. They are literally not worth it.

I mean, someone you are married you who legitimately feels you are shirking the joint retirement contributions because you just imported another horse and WHAT WILL WE LIVE ON WHEN WE ARE 90 is one thing.

But some loser at the water cooler with no social skills who coversates by needling people about stuff?
Nope.[/QUOTE]

I look at it this way: at 90, statistically speaking I won’t be enjoying much, if anything. I also hold this view due to family history and precedent, ergo, I will not concern myself with what might happen or not happen then if it means sacrificing everything in what are supposed to be good years of life.

I have a fairly common disease: I have horses in my blood. I have since I was a tot. Filthy rich or dirt poor, they will abide as a part of my inner self and, as long as possible, my physical self. The rest of the world will have to deal, or not. I am quite sure my father can’t decide if it was a great moment in life or the worst decision he ever made when putting me on that first pony, but fortunately I don’t care what he thinks either.

[RubyTuesday]

[QUOTE=Hulk;8382905]
I don’t bother with these people either. I am at the point in life that I feel no need to vindicate my lifestyle or choices to anyone. I believe life is for living and I am not into self denial. I don’t say I cant do that, I say how can I do that. Just my personal mindset. And yes I do live in my own little world, but it’s a happy place and I like it there. Better than living in Debbie Downerville.

If this makes me crazy, I am ok with that. But honestly I think when people get all nasty about the horse thing its more about their envy than your choices. And as far as men go, find one that accepts you the way you are. I don’t believe in a relationship where its all about the guy and his things, and how a good wifey stops all that and settles down to do more important things. Yeah, I refuse to buy into that mindset.

I also think society likes to put labels on people who step out of the norm, so if it makes them feel better, go ahead call me crazy or horse crazy, I don’t mind.[/QUOTE]

Right around the time I got together with my current husband, I made sure he knew that a heart-horse was involved and that there was no person that would come between me and that horse. It was a very good start to lay down the rules at the beginning. We have had very few horse-related arguments, and never about that horse. I married my husband while on my heart-horse and I don’t think my husband would really have liked it if he’d been absent from the ceremony. The two of them got along very well, although once I had purchased my horse he became a one-person horse. He’d suffer other people, but not gladly.

[Mango20]

About 15 years ago I knew a very large and boisterous guy who was an Elizabethan re-enactor. Spent thousands on a custom suit of armor. Wore tights. Despised the local Renaissance festival because it wasn’t authentic enough. There was just so much to make fun of there.

I eventually came to have this attitude: “hey, everyone’s got their own thing”. Some say he’s crazy for his thing, some say I’m crazy for mine, some spend just as much playing golf on land better suited for cross country courses. Who am I to judge?

[JustTheTicket]

Why are horse women so bent on proving they’re to most crazy? I see stuff like that on Facebook too, with memes about women boasting about how crazy they are. Why? Why can’t you just enjoy your horses without having to have this competition about how crazy you all are?

Re: putting horse in field with a round bale. I wasn’t saying put it there and never look at it again. But even if you board you can find pasture, and pay someone to water and groom sometimes and do farrier and vet as necessary. You don’t have to be A show barn quality care all the time. So you can still walk away from it. The arguments I’m getting here are from people who probably pride themselves on their “craziness” about their horses. Like, the same kind of people who think it’s a big dea to have a boyfriend meet their horse. It’s not your parents. I can’t comprehend how it’s a big deal for people to have others meet their horse. It’s an animal. It doesn’t care who you’re dating.