Take the 60k, lease a decent horse already in a program where you will learn to really show at 3’6 then go to college. You will be out of money and horses then but it will work out a whole lot better than any other scenerio with the time and money you have.
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I also have to agree that there is little point in posting for those whose only contribution is to continue to dump on the OP. Everything has been said. There are other COTH threads to read. The whole world doesn’t work the way it does in our own backyard, and it’s not important anyway. It is starting to look bad for those doing the dumping, not the OP.
An important point for anyone looking to improve and move up the levels.
I know of some juniors that have done this even at a fairly basic riding level. At their previous program, they were gaining few useful riding skills. It was barely more than babysitting on a horse – except that several had actually had accidents and injuries, because their skills were so poor, and the ‘instructors’ were so careless.
For them, moving to a better program has made all the difference in the world to basically being able to ride a horse safely and securely, without anything very adventurous.
It’s true with every sport. The horse, the equipment and the instruction will make all the difference. OP realizes this and is trying to get it all lined up, and best wishes that it turns out well. 
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You’ve gotten a lot of good advice already. I will add is DO NOT bring a $60k warmblood to trainer #1 and DO NOT buyer a $60k horse without a trainer’s help, period. There are some very savvy individuals who can spend this sort of money as an adult without a trainer’s input that know how to play the game, but there is almost no minor who could do so - plus, sellers will take you a lot more seriously with a trainer involved.
If you bring that horse to barn #1 it is going to lose most of its value by not showing. You need to factor at least 2-4 A shows per year for it to hold it’s value - doesn’t need to be getting primary color ribbons, but it needs a record showing it is reliably jumping around. Many leases in this price range wouldn’t allow the horse to go somewhere like this as it wouldn’t be an ‘approved program.’
If you stay at barn 1, you need to adjust your goals to reflect what the other clients are doing - what shows they are going to, what types of horses they are on, etc. If they’re sporadically going to rated shows and bombing around with extremely mixed success in the jumpers… I know that’s not a barn I would be happy at. If you’re happy there, I don’t think you need more than a relatively inexpensive lease horse - just know you aren’t doing the BigEq (which is fine; literally no one cares but you - I don’t mean this in a negative way but in a freeing way. Once you get older you realize people just aren’t as invested in how you spend your free time as you are).
If you go to barn 2, have a meeting with the trainer and your parents to go over goals and budget. The trainer can very easily tell you if your budget can meet the goals. It is sadly a fact of riding (and many sports) that the two are closely intertwined.
You don’t need to spend a ton of money to have fun and it doesn’t even sound like you really want to do horses and nothing else. With that in mind, there’s no reason to spend a ton of money or the long show barn commute - just have fun doing what you’re doing!
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How is this any of your business? What does it matter?
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You really need to find another equine professional who will help you find what you want because obviously this trainer is not it. You are the one spending the money. The horse is for you. What breeds she prefers really makes no difference.
Any other respected , local professionals you can reach out to?
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To the OP: I’m sorry that you’ve had a mixed first experience here on COTH. If English is your third language, you write it very well, and I think you’ve handled yourself with dignity and maturity. However, in between the the trolling comments you’ve gotten some very good advice, and I think it’s great that you seem open to it.
Like others here, I think you have a choice to make. If you really want to pursue 3’6” equitation at A shows, you will need to ride with Show Barn Trainer. You should sit down with Show Barn Trainer and your parents and discuss your goals, and what it will take-financially and otherwise—to attain those goals. Your parents need to fully understand all the costs involved, and that the 60k purchase/lease price for the horse is only the beginning. Is Show Barn full training board? How much do you expect to spend on vet, farrier, dental, and other maintenance costs? Do you need to buy a new saddle or other equipment? How often do you expect to show and what is the approximate cost per show? You will spend a lot of time commuting to this barn and will likely be able to ride less times per week than you would at your other barn. You will need to give up most of if not all of your other extracurricular activities. Who will ride the horse on days you can’t make it to the barn? 60k, although a lot of money, is not enough to get you a ready-to-step-into-the-ring-at-A-shows 3’6” warmblood. It will get you something young, or quirky, or serviceable sound with jumping limitations. I agree with others that if you decide to go this route, it makes the most sense to lease. 60k should be able to get you a one year lease on a nice equitation horse.
If I were you I would not totally discount Cow Pony Trainer at this point. It seems as if you respect this trainer and have a good relationship with her, you have a lot of fun at her barn, and relationships with friends there that you value. After sitting down with Show Barn Trainer and discussing all that it will take to show with Show Barn, you may decide that Lesson Barn is a better fit for your schedule and budget. You would have to adjust your goals accordingly if that is the decision you make, but you may decide you are ok with that. There is SO much more to horsemanship than showing on the A circuit. If you purchased a horse through this trainer and boarded it here you could likely ride every day, may not have to give up as much else in your life, would save a lot of money, and could still do smaller, local shows up to about 3’ or so. Maybe you could get a part time job at the barn to offset a few of your expenses and learn more about horsemanship. Maybe with the money you save you could afford to keep this horse through college and develop a meaningful longer term partnership with the horse. If you go this route I would be open to stock type breeds that it sounds like this trainer deals with a lot, as well as OTTBs. Both can be great all around horses. So can warmbloods, but you may find your money goes farther with these breeds. You could have a lot of fun with a horse like this trail riding, riding bareback, or playing gymkhana type games with your friends, as well as doing smaller shows. It sounds like you had one bad experience with an OTTB—I wouldn’t let that color your whole perception of the breed. I agree that you probably don’t want a green horse or a fresh off the track TB, but very many have been trained into successful second careers. I have known many that have been steady Eddie lesson horses, or show horses, trail/all purpose, ect. I think they often actually have very good brains once they see how boring life off the track can be, since they’ve been exposed to so much from a young age.
So sit down with your parents and trainers and come up with concrete goals and a plan. And have fun!
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This is a great point. I’ll also add for OP since I don’t think anyone has said it yet - the decision you make right now will not define the rest of your life with horses. I remember being 16 and feeling like if I didn’t make it to the 3’6 on the A circuit it would be the end of the world, but that was just never a realistic goal for my family’s financial situation. I still learned plenty and had fun, but I wish I had appreciated it more at the time instead of constantly wishing I could do more. Riding is a lifelong sport and even as a well-funded junior there are limitations on what you can do unless you want to give up everything else in your life to focus exclusively on horses (which I don’t really recommend, but that’s another thread). If you play your cards right you could have decades of showing ahead of you once you’re established in your career, so don’t feel like it’s an all-or-nothing decision right now. If you like riding at the closer barn with your friends and having time for other activities, that’s a totally valid decision. If you want to focus on showing for the next year or two, that’s also valid. But either way, in a very short period of time you’ll be away at college and then starting your career, and it won’t really matter that much how seriously you did or did not show in high school.
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Hi, OP. I have a question. I’m not trying to be nosy, I’m just wondering.
Are your parents at home with you a lot? Or are they away a lot, for work, traveling on business, and leaving you at home with a housekeeper or maybe a relative?
I’m just wondering if that is why it’s hard for you to be able to get together with them to have a conversation about your horsey goals.
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This has got to be the most convoluted thread of all time! Other posters were saying she didn’t seem 16, but that her communication style (or something like that) made her come off a lot younger. I said she did not seem younger to me, but in fact seemed like an adult. And this is bad why? I read what teenagers write every day, and trust me, this person is much better at written communication than 90% of kids her age. On top of that, she said English was her third language (something like that), so I asked where she was from. And this is bad why? I am so confused by everything happening in this crazy thread 
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Yeah, my parents work a lot. Usually the only time my family is home together is in the morning at 6 am or late at night around 9 pm. I realize though that it’s super important to talk more with my parents about this decision, and we have decided as a family to sit down and have a discussion tommorrow! I’m excited but also a bit nervous, but I’m sure it will work out.
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Thank you! I’m not as nervous anymore for the future, I am excited to see what will happen when I am an adult ammy!
I have a question if you don’t mind:
How different is it showing as an adult vs a junior rider?
Is showing as an adult more competitive?
Thank you for the advice, I feel like I have learned so much from this topic!
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At the adult level things get split into amateur and pro. If you are an adult ammie you are not showing against trainers and coaches.
On the other hand some adult ammies have unlimited cash and resources to buy horses and trainers. Others have the money but not the time. And some are very talented but don’t have the cash to go full out on the A circuit because $5k a show is a lot for anyone not a billionaire can really add up.
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You do realize that people can be born in America and still be ESL or ETL right? Regardless, it has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. I agree, this thread has been incredibly muddied by multiple posters who seem to be more interested in proving their claims that the OP is a ‘troll’ rather than offering their advice and moving along.
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I think one of the biggest differences in showing as a junior vs. an adult ammy, at least in the hunters, is the lack of an ownership requirement in the Junior hunters. As an adult, if you want to show in the amateur divisions over 3’, you will be in the A/O’s, meaning you have to own your horse and cannot lease. This has pros and cons. You have to go all in on ownership costs, ect. You can’t lease a horse that is already qualified for Devon/indoors/ect., but you also can’t be beat by someone who leased a horse that was qualified by someone else. You commit to the horse and qualify them yourself.
I also feel that as juniors are funded by mom and dad and often feel pressure to complete their goals before they go to college, they may be more likely to buy or lease a ready-to-go horse. Many adults I know (but certainly not all) like the financial advantages, and the reward, of finding a younger or greener horse with talent, and bringing them along in a program until they are ready to show. They will likely be keeping the horse for longer so it makes more sense to buy young or green.
Also, there is way more emphasis on Eq for the juniors. It pretty much didn’t used to exist for adults. Now it is getting somewhat more popular, but there is still nothing like Maclay finals for adults.
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@celine.eq2023, I am starting to understand your situation a bit more. Congratulations on asking your questions - you have received some very good advice! Here are a few more things to think about.
Barn A vs B: like posters have said, if you want to show at the AA level, you need to ride with Barn B. Period. However, there are riders all over the US who live in __ and have a show horse somewhere else. That’s because __ does not have many AA shows and/or Barn B-level barns/trainers. These riders may ride with a more local barn, and in some cases have a #2 horse there to use for practice, and then meet up with their #1 horse and #1 trainer at the AA shows. This is obviously very expensive, but people do it. I read those stories in the COTH all the time.
Barn A business (“cowpony”): Is trainer at Barn A involved in a specific breed, like quarter horses or paint horses? If so, is that trainer recommending that you get a QH/etc and show it at those shows? Depending on where you live, there may be a lot of QH (AQHA) or Paint shows, which may be very competitive, fun, and involve your friends from Barn A. The option here might be worth thinking about more. You might be able to ride more, get to be a better rider, show on those circuits, and then get into other options as an adult after college. The big plus: I honestly don’t know how you can get better as a rider when Barn B is 90+ minutes away. That’s a big, big barrier, unless you go the route I described above. I live in a big city, so 90 minutes may be 120 minutes in some traffic conditions. No way would I sign up for this, as a rider or as a parent.
With a limited number of options for barns, you have some clear choices to make. Thanks a lot for sticking with this thread! Many have been generous with advice and I hope that will help.
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Do you know where I live now? Nope. The barns near me closed down due to different circumstances, which forced me to look for farther away options. Yes, where I live most of the barns are on small patches of land scattered around the city. It you look up barns in LA, you can see that many are near West Hollywood (gasp! In the city!). I’m so sorry that my situation of not having lots of options for barns near me is directly affecting you.
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I totally understand. I grew up in a nice suburb that backed onto mountains. When I was a kid it was full of backyard horses and had multiple big barns. Now there’s one lesson factory barn and one private HOA barn and a couple backyard horses. Most of the stables now are on the other side of town where there is flat farm land. From my old suburb you have to drive through the city to get to those barns. It’s not like every city is surrounded by a uniform belt of farm land.
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Yeah totally my situation! I live in the mountains and there’s really no flat land suitable for horseriding near me. It just so happens that in the city there’s a lot of flat land!
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Just a gentle reminder. Maybe follow your own advice since you are so befuddled by this situation.
I know you live in a flyover state where open land is plentiful, but in lots of urban areas the development has surrounded barns and made them little islands of equestrian life encircled by homes/businesses/commercial buildings. It happens.
I still fail to see where the OP grew up is effecting any of this whatsoever. But good job Sherlock, you got her to admit that she grew up in Switzerland. How has that increased your understanding of her current situation? OP is going to talk to her parents about her goals tomorrow so we will see what shakes out from that.
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She lives on a mountain now, with not enough flat land to ride a horse, in a major coastal US city. 
I will stop commenting now for real lol. This is so dumb.
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