Thank you! I always try to be polite even when I am discouraged or emotional because being rude back is not a good idea. It’s always good to be nice!
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Thank you for helping me! I really appreciate it because online sometimes the replies are not super nice/ constructive. Thank you for defending me, because I was getting discouraged with all of the troll comments. It’s really hard communicating when you don’t even think in English!
I appreciate it a lot!
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Sure, a lot of stock breed horses fit this description. But so do a lot of warmblood and thoroughbreds.
Bottom line is, it’s your (parents’) money and will be your horse. Your trainer should be supporting you in buying the horse that YOU want.
I would not only not use this trainer to help you find a horse, I would end riding with this trainer altogether. It would be one thing if they had just declined to be part of the searching process. It’s a whole other thing to try to force someone to buy something they don’t want.
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A few thoughts for the OP:
- If you are 16 and planning to go to college in 2 years, you should lease not buy. It might take you a year to even find the horse that you’re looking for and after that you will need to become established riding it. Not to mention, if you’re not taking a horse to college (and I think it’s better to focus on college) you will need to sell it soon.
- You cannot keep the horse you want at the lesson barn that you’ve described. That’s not what the trainer does. If you want to make these last two years as a junior count, you need to be immersed in a program, which will mean going to the barn that’s farther away. Yes, you will miss your friends, but that’s the tradeoff. You will also probably need to stop most of your other extra curricular activities. None of us has enough time to do everything and it sounds like you are quite busy. Only you can know what’s most important to you – staying in a comfortable environment with your friends and having fun with a horse or campaigning a horse at A shows.
- Depending on where you are, your budget is tight for what you want to accomplish. That’s also why I think you would be better off leasing a been there/done that horse that can help you accomplish your goals. Given your time constraints, you need one that does the job out of the box.
My kids both rowed competitively in high school. They were training 6 days a week year round. They were not able to do extra curricular activities because they needed to be on the river every afternoon. They did not go to parties on Friday nights because they were on the water every Saturday morning. They both took AP classes and they both went to excellent colleges (rowing at their level helped) but they made the sacrifices. Some of the kids who started with them didn’t want to spend that much time rowing. It’s a legitimate choice. You have to decide what YOU want, what your parents will support, and then stick to it.
I think most of the posters here have been clear that the only way to ride at the level you’ve described is to move to the show barn.
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Unfortunately there have been numerous cases of trolls and flat out liars on this forum (Musical Jumper and Chander will ring a bell to older COTH members) that make some members hesitant to believe things at face value. Hopefully you have picked up some useful information in this discussion.
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You don’t seem like a kid to me, you seem like an adult. Where are you from (since not the US)?
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I am in the US I moved here when I was younger. I was from Switzerland.
Didn’t you say I seemed less mature and a young child?
How am I an adult now?
You go from mocking me for being immature and no having a “lingo” to saying you think I am an adult?
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Oh yeah! I have learned so much! Thank you to all the contributions!
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I’ve read you reply, and I do understand your circumstances and your point of view better. I apologize for drawing conclusions based on how I interpreted your early posts.
If your goal is to compete at bigger shows in the 3’6" division while still a junior, then I agree with quite a few others here that leasing a made, seasoned horse is definitely an option to explore. Schedule a face to face meeting with the trainer at the show barn and see if the two of you can come up with a plan you both can embrace.
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Thank you, I will definitely be doing that!
I think you have me confused with someone else. I’m the one who explained why people think you’re a troll, and also told you how to easily solve this problem (ask the show barn trainer to help you find a horse, not the trainer who wants you to buy a western horse).
I also find it amusing that people seem to think that young people “these days” can only do one thing.
Many children do AP classes, ride, AND do something else like a musical instrument. While I’m not sure when they sleep and do other kid things, it’s fairly normal these days. Especially if the horse is in a show barn in full training where the trainer rides it the other two days of the week it’s entirely doable.
Kids competing at higher levels of sport are often home schooled so they can take their AP courses while at shows.
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https://warmblood-sales.com/horse/usty-des-dubois
If you are determined to buy, think about this horse’s “qualifications”. 15 years old, seasoned jumper, still sound and capable, price that leaves you a cushion.
Now I’m not saying exactly this horse, but: an older horse with the right temperament can teach you a ton in a couple years. Whatever you end up doing jumping/showing is likely going to be somewhat easier than what he has done. When college time comes, the horse could be resold at another level down, or leased to a rider in a program. AND even better if you can find something like this to lease for yourself.
Years ago I leased an 18 yr old hunter. He had done the regular working hunters, been to Madison Sq Garden back in the day. He had to stay with my trainer, not permitted to jump over 3’3" which worked for my adult amateur skill set. At 20 he was leased to another rider in our barn and moved down a bit to Children’s Hunters and then was sold to a casual rider in the barn.
When I switched to dressage I bought a 15 yr old schoolmaster, taught me tons, gave me 5 good years of showing. Absolutely don’t be turned off by age, they have much to offer.
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My schedule as a teenager in public, but competitive northeastern regional magnet high school
5am wake up
5am to 5:30 coffee, let dog out, feed dog, get dressed pack up school bag and other necessities
530am to 545am drive dressage barn or walk - walking took about 20 mins
545-605/610am groom and tack horse
610-645 ride
645-7:15 untack cool out under solarum / put horse on eurociser
7:15 - 7:30 shower & get ready for school at barn (fancy barn, full locker room / guest clubhouse set up)
7:30 -7:40 drive the 5-10 mins to my hs if I walked to the barn my bf or parents would drive me to school and I’d take the bus home in the evening
RUN to class at 7:45/7:50 - I was always 5 mins late - if I had an exam or presentation i’d not ride, ride shorter, or pay a groom to untack and cool out (10 dollars a time in 2006)
7:45 - 2:20pm - 4 block classes per day at 90 mins each with passing time and a short lunch - usually all APs by the time I was a 2nd semester sophomore
245pm - 4pm newspaper or mathletes or some other extracurricular - sometimes I’d do homework in the school library or smoke weed in the woods with my boyfriend and friends
4pm - 530pm sports practice (track, xc, mostly. I tried fencing, etc.)
5:30- 5:45 drive home
545-6:15 prep dinner (make rice, make salad, put something like a meat in the oven or something) as parents worked in NYC/Philly area full time and had long commutes
6:15 - 7:30 homework
7:30-8 dinner
8-midnight AP homework / college apps / dicking around on the internet and talking to my bf / friends on AIM or on the phone
Weekends I volunteered 5 hours on Saturday, waitressed both Friday and Saturday nights at local farm to table restaurant in my town or worked retail Saturday and Sunday at the mall. I also rode on the weekend and generally rode 2 or 3 week days per week for about 5x a week riding total on average
barn had lighted heated indoor and people rode as early at 530am and as late as 9pm.
It is doable - but barn was between my house and my highschool and I did not compete much as a junior - just straight up didn’t have the time / the financial support of my parents for anything horse related beyond the equivalent of 1 - 2 lessons per week, and was far more focused on getting an academic scholarship to university - which I did so yay no student debt
everyone I know who stayed in A rated HJ like Big Eq or High Children’s jumpers with winters in WEF or went up the medals in Dressage dropped most other extracurriculars and went to a hybrid school / homeschool program called Independent Study at my HS. I grew up in the same general area as Jessica Springsteen (and at the same time early 2000s - she is 2 years younger than I)
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Could not agree more
This thread is a perfect example of the borderline pathological need of so many users on this forum to pile on “expose” and interrogate people
If you’re really convinced this is a young CHILD trolling, the best course of action would be to not engage. Can’t believe that actually needs to be said to a forum full of ADULTS (!!!)
Jesus
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Depends on the level of riding, and the 3’6” is no joke - especially if one wants to go from IEA and lesson barn leases to the big eq in under 2 years. Doable, with enough money and TIME, but not easy.
This is still very common. If one wants to campaign on the A circuit- even “just” locally and maybe do Junior Hunter Finals or qualify for ONE medal (harder and harder these days), you almost have to be solely riding outside of school, doing online or hybrid school, be a trainers kid, or be richer than god and have parents that can cart you around (or pay a chauffeur).
If you want to do local showing a few times a year and bop around, you have a lot more time on your hands for other things.
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I’m glad a couple of the adults on this thread jumped in to point out that coming after a child is not a good look. If you think someone is trolling you then for heaven’s sake, just ignore them. If in theory the OP was just jerking your chain, then you have lost nothing (as opposed to all the time you spent writing up the reasons you think the OP is ChatGPT.) If the OP is a kid looking for life advice, then you have actively done harm. And if the OP is a houseguest but a real live kid comes back here in a year and could have benefited from this thread… well, then nobody got any good out of 150+ posts.
@celine.eq2023, I’d suggest reading @supershorty628’s excellent posts a couple of times. She knows whereof she speaks in terms of achieving challenging goals over time as a junior and young rider, and her suggestions can help you and your parents have a really productive “roadmap meeting” with the trainer who is best equipped to meet your goals. Which is not the trainer who’s recommending a cow pony, because it sounds like cow pony trainer knows her business model and is trying to tell you that your goals and her business are not well aligned.
Then it sounds like once you and Barn 2 Trainer have discussed what it will take to get you where you want to go, you and your parents will need to sit down and decide how that fits into your lives. It might be that you are all on the same page, and it might be that Barn 2 Trainer will tell you something about the time or financial commitment that makes you think a different goal would actually make you happier.
The last thing I will say about this- although it sounds like you probably get it- is that your life does not end when you turn 18. I think that horse show culture does juniors a huge disservice by emphasizing the big eq as a destination, not a journey. This is a sport that you can participate in through your 80’s if you so choose- I’d encourage you to keep your eyes up and forward looking at ways you can stay involved with the sport after your junior years also.
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I know a lot of people are getting on your communication; don’t beat yourself up over that! I am positive my communication skills at 16 were lacking (I’m very introverted). Even as an adult I had to really be mindful of working and practicing the best ways to communicate in the corporate world .
I am impressed that you have stayed along with all the comments and kept your composure. THAT is something to be commended. A lot of adults lose their cool after a few people tell them things they don’t want to hear!! Seeking out more experience peoples thoughts on things, and being able to these types of conversations will serve you really well into adulthood.
This is just your youth talking. Decisions are HARD, and while some are harder than others, you are not in a unique situation here that makes it more complicated than anything else. This experience will serve you into adulthood too. A lot of 16 year olds don’t seem to get to make their own decisions, so while it is difficult, this is something you will learn from…hopefully in the best kind of ways!
To me it totally tracks youre from Switzerland. Reading your posts to me is similar to when I communicate with my former exchange student (she’s from France). She’s in her mid 20’s now, but she doesn’t talk with lingo like typical American teens do.
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I’d add that from what I have read about Britain and Europe, it’s still more common to compete at higher levels of jumps than in North America. When I was a kid in the 1970s in Canada jumps started at 3 feet. Now juniors can be cross pole champions or do A rated shows at 2 foot 6. It’s now a Big Deal to move up to 3 feet around here.
So if you started riding in Switzerland you might not have as much exposure to the kind of junior lesson barn where no one ever jumps above two feet even in competition. That kind of barn doesn’t take students up past 3 feet.
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16 is not a young child - sure still a minor, but 16 sadly is age of consent in many US states, can drive, can apply for student loans, etc.
the Internet that this forum is on (that isn’t the Dark Web) doesn’t need to cater to everyone at all times. As long as one isn’t doxxing or doing something illegal and incredibly nefarious - folks have valid points giving feedback to someone WHO IS ASKING FOR FEEDBACK.
It isn’t wrong for people to call me pedantic or a dick - most of the time you all are right and regardless if I am 16, 18, 22, 33, or 45 - you all are allowed to express yourselves. I don’t have to agree
The overwhelming responses to this thread indicate that OPs communication is not fantastic (for good reason, language barrier, cultural differences, etc.) - it isn’t “evil” to point that out. I hope OPs teachers and parents also give constructive feedback on communication - that’s how we grow.
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