Good things about horses
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Horses are less expensive to shoe. They’ll happily wear the same set for weeks.
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Horses are less expensive to clip, and one clip job may last all winter.
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Your horse won’t constantly ask you if his blanket makes his butt look big.
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Your horse won’t worry about whether his shoes match his saddle.
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Your horse won’t complain if you occasionally ride a different one.
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You have more options for working out your horse’s behavioral problems.
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Your horse won’t sulk if you forget his birthday.
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Your horse’s farts make yours seem like no big deal.
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Your horse won’t tell all his friends about every little mistake you make.
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Your horse won’t constantly nag you to redecorate the barn.
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If your horse runs away from you, you can usually get him back.
Good things about wives
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Your wife can feed herself if you have to leave town.
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You can (usually) kiss your wife’s neck without worrying about getting your feet stepped on.
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You can shop for a new car without worrying about whether it’s powerful enough to haul your wife.
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If you call in sick at work to stay home and play with your wife, there’s very little risk of serious injury that will be tough to explain to the boss the next day.
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Your wife won’t go roll in the mud right before an occasion when she needs to look her best.
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Your wife can groom herself much better than you can.
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Bathing your wife can be much more entertaining than bathing your horse, and doesn’t require tying her up (unless you’re into that).
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If your wife loses a shoe, you can be pretty sure she has plenty of replacements in the closet.
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Your wife’s mane doesn’t need to be pulled.
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If your wife runs away from you, you don’t care whether she gets hurt.
