I have success with slowing the horse, and bending. Once the horse thinks slow and relaxed, open him up again.
You’ve gotten a lot of good advice here. Lunging can be a wonderful tool if the horse uses the opportunity to work in a relaxed manner in a correct frame. This will help build correct muscling that he can use under saddle. However, if he won’t do that, bag the lunging.
At 14 you may not be able to entirely retrain him. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. 
Some TBs are comforted by you having a steady leg contact all the time -supportive, hugging, are terms I would use. Sometimes a spur makes them suck up and tense their belly.
Some of them feel very secure with a firm contact. One of the things that worked with my old guy sound counterintuitive, but it worked. (came from legit, grand prix trainer) Take a firm contact and kick him into it. I know this sounds like riding back to front, but he needed to know that the contact was firm and consistent - I wasn’t to give, HE gave. That was his reward. I’m not explaining this very well, but he was forward into the hand.
Also, my horse HATED to be sat on. I could ride him in a conventional manner and get correct work out of him. But it took an age, we both got frustrated and worked wayyyyyy to hard to get correct and ultimately he’d tell me to go take a hike. If I didn’t sit, he was much happier, and would come up over his back much more easily. So I rode off my leg, and never used my seat on him.
So a lot of it could be figuring out what he likes -whoever said sometimes horses get trained in strange manners is right. I wouldn’t blame the eventers either - anyone can have a quirky horse and figure out a way to deal with it. If the outcome is correct, does it really matter if you get the lengthening by fluttering the reins? (OK, that’s a can of worms we don’t really need to get into(
The more you ride this horse the more you’ll figure him out.
[QUOTE=slc2;3167410]
just started a partial lease on a 14 y/o TB gelding. He’s a very sensitive, hot horse who needs very little hand. I’ve only ridden him twice, and I’ve found that it’s hard to get him to track up and really relax over his topline. He’s very good at faking it! If I keep my hand quiet and steady, with very little weight, he’ll come down on the bit but I still don’t feel like he’s through behind back-to-front.
– a ‘quiet steady’ hand can’t take a ‘fake’ posture and make it into a real a connection. the connection comes from the ‘push to the quiet hand’. the leg aids and the soft following, encouraging seat are what make that ‘fake posture’ become a real connection. a connection on a big heavy fronted horse may be heavier, and a connection on a more balanced horse may be lighter, but it’s still ‘honest’ - flexible, adjustable, a real ‘conversation’, not a ‘horsey hiding behind the bit’.
– even with a ‘shy’ horse that takes a very light contact, the work chosen for the lesson and how it’s done wind up at the end of the lesson with a more solidly connected, flexible, honest connection. for each horse the exercises are adjusted-for many horses people WANT to just not take up the reins, but many of these ‘light’ horses are actually stiff and need a lot of very clever suppling - different leg yield exercises, very forward work, and no, not always just stretching, and for sure not just letting go the reins to avoid the issue, but stretching probably will be a part of the solution.
–‘come down on the bit’? one can’t get a horse to ‘come down on the bit’, that isn’t what ‘on the bit’ or ‘making a connection’ is about.
I’ve been reading Dr. Deb Bennett’s series on conformation, and she says a horse that is not truly using its muscles properly shows a toe-flicking action… it reminded me that the photos I’ve seen of him doing Prelim level [eventing] dressage tests… where he’s clearly not relaxed and is (no surprise) flicking his toe.
– if he’s done prelim dressage tests, he may actually have gotten quite a lot of dressage schooling. it just might take a real knack to get him ‘connected’ properly to the bit. an instructor can show you how. if he’s never really been taught to do it properly, an instructor can also help you learn to urge him out to the bit, ‘accept’ his contact with a quiet hand, and gently supple him.
–i think it would be better to consult with a dressage trainer to determine how to get the horse going more correctly, or to determine what’s most important right now that needs to be worked on first. bennett’s articles are always kind of like, ‘yeah, but’, because while they repeat well known dressage concepts covered in many books, they aren’t automatically going to be the things you need to work on, in the order they need to be approached for you and your horse. in other words, first come first.
What sort of exercises can I do to sloooow his mind down (I swear he’s trying to predict what I’m going to ask him to do next) and help with relaxing his topline so I can work on getting him engaged?
– i don’t feel ‘relaxing his topline’ will help him get more engaged. i don’t feel that getting him more engaged, or worrying about toe flicking, or even relaxing his topline, is the thing to focus on right now. probably some much more basic things, like establishing a rhythm, bending and working on rider position will come first, then as time goes on the other things can be worked on. working with an instructor to learn to steady your horse’s rhythm might come first, or his rhythm may be FINE for him, or it may just feel fast because he’s off balance…or a million other things…
– i think that the first thing to do is to get with a trainer or instructor who can look at the horse and establish a sort of ‘order’ to work on things and move progressively on to the next thing.
–with a horse that takes a very light contact with the bit, stretching can help, but certain other things need to be established first. the instructor can look at you riding the horse and help you determine what to work on first.
–to slow a horse down, circling, making transitions to a walk, avoiding going ‘large’ around the ring, and instead, staying on a circle, may help, but it’s basically the outside rein that regulates the horse’s rhythm, and an instructor can show you how to use your outside rein to regulate the horse’s rhythem and speed more effectively. teaching you and your horse the rudiments of a ‘half halt’ can also help you to regulate his rhythm.
–horses don’t really ‘fake a connection’, but they very often put their head down (‘down on the bit’) without making a real connection with the bit…your instructor can show you how to teach the horse to stretch his neck out to the bit and trust the bit.[/QUOTE]
nicely put
In addition to all of the great advice, you say that he was shown to advanced, I think. This means he knows shoulder-in and haunches-in. I think that shoulder-in is the mother of all exercises because it weights the inside hind leg if done correctly and helps build hind leg muscle and carrying power, as well as suppleness. It can be hard for the horse to “fake” connection if he’s really stepping under with the inside leg. And at first, the neck and head doesn’t matter as much as the hind-leg. You can come out of the corner for only a few steps to start, and then build by adding more steps and doing shoulder-in on the diagonal, on the quarter-line, do shoulder-in left ot shoulder-in right, etc. Haunches in also can help activate the hind end (the outside hind, so shoulder-in to haunches in is a great exercise if ridden correctly). It also helps to slooooooow a fast horse.
