Not even trainer-related, but one of the biggest dramas on my local FB horse page was when someone posted “don’t buy hay from Hay Dude, LLC, look at this moldy stuff” (with photos), which meant Hay Dude (a member) jumped in, defending himself, “I’ve been in the business for xx years,” plus his satisfied customers (or employees, relatives, who knows) chiming in, followed by people critiquing whether hay in said photos was not moldy with the intensity of Blue vs White Dress debate way back when. Thread was eventually shut down by mods.
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For this I just post links to their charges and where they are registered at.
I don’t PM but post that front and center.
Unfortunately, zipping it is really the only way to go.
Even as professionals, we’re careful about how we talk about other professionals with each other. You never know who is friends with who, and that can RUIN you.
If asked directly, I’ve offered things like ‘trainer x didn’t work for my horse who is x y and z, but might work for a horse with these characteristics’ - in your case it might be 'but might work for an extremely quiet horse, and with an owner who comes out frequently to learn and assess progress".
That way you’re not being directly negative, but you are giving them the hint that perhaps it’s not the right place to send a challenging or absentee-owner type of situation. Then they can make their own choices as to whether they fit in, or whether to steer clear.
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Is the BB the type where you can message people directly? I just went through this experience looking for a housepainter. There is one person who is often recommended on our local message board. When I posted my ISO post, I received probably a dozen direct messages saying “you’re going to see a bunch of responses saying you should hire Johnny’s Painting, but don’t listen to them, because if he shows up at all, it will be with a crew that is stoned off their behinds.” Sure enough, Johnny’s Painting was publicly recommended, but through the clandestine messages, I got connected with Mark’s Painting instead. And Mark’s Painting was so good and had so much business, they didn’t even bother posting on the message board.
All that to say- if you can message the person asking the question, you might share that way. And I bet you won’t be the only one.
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So one of the equestrian acquaintances I have in the area did something similar and it was amazing how many people crawled out of the woodwork to defend him, say that the charges were fake, that he shouldn’t be on the registry, etc.
child predators don’t groom kids, they groom parents. 
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I am not so inclined to post about negative experiences online naming names. I will however be truthful and transparent if specifically asked about a person or place. Word of mouth still goes a long way and at least in my area…it seems like the farriers are WELL in the know of all things gossip which I found fascinating!
My body worker asked why I left the crazy barn, and I told her the numerous issues I had. She said she likes to ask, so if her clients are asking her about a place or person she feels better about giving a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
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You are correct. It lets me know who not to do business with real quick.
I take bad reviews seriously, and appreciate the time it took to write the review. Usually you can tell if someone has an axe to grind, or is being dramatic. I have written bad reviews, and like others have mentioned have kept it neutral and only the facts. I also think it helps to keep it short, no paragraphs of details.
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Bonjour!
As an aside, watch the ad again and take a gander at my man’s fingers. Terrifying!
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Oh my gosh, how did I never notice that before.
Baaahahahahaha RIGHT???
I sent a horse to a respected trainer and he came away with a traumatic injury to his face and a damaged psyche. After 3 years he’s finally better mentally but still carries a lot of anxiety and a permanent somewhat disfigured face from the injury. I was so tempted to out him on FB but I know this guy has anger issues and definitely was concerned about revenge so refrained. However, I tell people in person to steer clear of him and don’t send him their horse if they are considering a trainer.
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Twice I have left reviews on Homestars.(a site that has reviews for home type repair.
Once- it resulted in the repair on my dishwasher being free - and then I promptly edited my review to say they took concerns seriously. I had tried to email them first but got no response. The owner was apologetic both at what had happened and that they had missed the email.
The other guy, I knew was a jerk so was expecting nothing there.
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I sent a horse to a respected trainer and he came away with a traumatic injury to his face and a damaged psyche. After 3 years he’s finally better mentally but still carries a lot of anxiety and a permanent somewhat disfigured face from the injury. I was so tempted to out him on FB but I know this guy has anger issues and definitely was concerned about revenge so refrained. However, I tell people in person to steer clear of him and don’t send him their horse if they are considering a trainer.
That’s absolutely horrifying! I understand not wanting to post anything online, but I feel for the next unsuspecting person who entrusts their horse to that trainer. I guess the bottom line in the horse world is to trust the whisper network over the social network.
Of course, even then, you have to take what people say with a heaping lump of salt. I was once leasing out of a barn where disgruntled boarders amused themselves with vicious gossip about the trainer. I experienced none of it first hand, but was so influenced by what people were saying that I left when my lease ended. Then I got myself in a huge mess with a different trainer and a sales horse, and the rest is history.
All that to say, after that experience I told myself I wouldn’t take gossip seriously or allow it to sway my decision-making. I would only go by what I saw for myself. That’s probably a wise philosophy to live by, but sadly only gets you as far as your own knowledge and judgment can take you.
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Battling the impulse to vent is part of maturity IMO. It’s never worth it in the end and best to let others come to their own conclusions in most cases.
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I’ve done this several times, even on COTH. It usually works out that I can be honest in a more private setting, and you don’t need to blast someone in public.
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Care to share a private msg regarding this person? I’m in Oregon and have an idea I may know who she is…
You don’t need to sound off and it isn’t a bad idea to wait a few days before writing anything. Of course, you reach out to the company first and give them an opportunity to make it right.
With the company that gave me the service free, I outlined what happened without adjectives and suggested something that could be done in the future to avoid these situations.
This is the type of thing where I will send a direct private message if possible.
“Hey, I know you got lots of recommendations for trainer X, but I had a bad experience with her program. I’d be happy to provide more information about what happened if you would like.”
I always appreciate when people have done the same for me.
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On our local horse fb page, there’s this one chick who posts in every single "ISO boarding barn " post saying to PM her for places to stay away from. Out of curiosity I eventually messaged her to ask. I do agree with the places she said, and after hearing her story of what happened to her horse I understand why she comments in every post, but the very emotional messages about it were also a bit off-putting. Which, again, I understand, I had a couple bad experiences and it can be hard to not cross the line between informing and venting. But I think she would come across better if she went the route of “Here are places I DO recommend, and I also have some places I would stay away from if you want to PM me”, and then be a bit more factual and way less emotional about it. She was actually sending me screenshots of where other people had disagreed with her warnings and it was crossing the line into “a bit unhinged” which could make someone disregard the , likely very legit, warning.
I almost wrote a bad review of a barn once. But I sat on it for a few days instead and ended up not writing it. If anyone asks me about that place, I’d tell them what happened, but I didn’t go out of my way to tell people to not go there. Ended up coming out the BO had some mental issues, likely due to too many concussions over her long riding career, and I think the place is actually closing now.
