I am hoping folks out there can relate. I have lost my interest and passion for riding, and I don’t know how to get it back. I used to love riding, and going to the barn. Now, it seems like such an effort and hassle. I think it started years ago when I got my current horse. He ended up not being enjoyable for me to ride, and he was pretty green. I hired a trainer who did a great job with him and trained him to level 4. She loves riding him. Me? Not so much. I have taken great care of him, and he has a great life (he is 23 now). I have ridden many, many horse over the years, and I was a skilled rider in the past. I think I have been so committed to keeping my horse and giving him a great, life long home, that I didn’t see how this would affect my interest in the sport. Has anyone else been in this boat? Any advice?
You obviously care for your horse, which is wonderful. However, when a horse and rider don’t click, they just don’t click. And that is ok. I think it would be in both your best interests to move on. It sounds like it is time for you to buy a horse you love to ride, one you really click with.
If you can’t afford two horses, ask if your trainer wants to buy your horse. It sounds like she may be interested. If not, there are plenty of people out there who will take great care of your horse. I promise you are not the only one 
sometimes it can be hard to remember that. It can be harder to sell an older horse, but as long as he seems to have a few more years of riding left he is desirable, especially at 4th level. If you worry about his retirement, you could lease him out so you have control in retirement.
I agree with StormyDay and would add,
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consider getting a check up, and have your thyroid, B12, vit-D , and hormone levels checked.
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Try taking a lesson on a different horse, or go for a few trail rides. Find out if you have lost interest in your horse, dressage, or riding in general.
P.S. it’s OK, even normal, for your interests to change.
Be at a place in life where you can’t ride-that will make you want nothing more.
“He ended up not being enjoyable for me to ride…”
I think this is the issue - he was green and intimidated you? Or it was harder to ride than other horses, and your trainer did well (don’t compare yourself to a pro’s skills). Maybe at heart you are competitive and unless you performed well, it wasn’t fun?
Find a new horse partner, if you can afford to continue to take care of your 23 year old.
Or do something completely different with horses?
- Try driving!
- Go to a dude ranch for a week!
Sometimes we have to change our goals to make the journey enjoyable. I am OLD and I was fortunate to find a trained older horse to continue the journey with the buttons already installed and safe/fun to ride. My other fun horse is a large Welsh pony.
I have my own small farm and my geriatric horses are here for the duration but if you have to place your horse that are good situations out there for him. You just have to be selective or retain ownership and it be a lease situation.
I could have written this post. I am in the same boat only with a younger greener horse. I have my usdf silver medal and had an almost 10-year hiatus from riding. Horse is at home with me and I have no one to ride with. She has not been off the farm much so is really full of herself when we go anywhere. It is a chore to introduce her to new things and it’s hard to motivate to get her out. She also has a huge Canter that is very difficult for me to ride. I am older and in a quandary as to what to do. I totally feel your pain. I think it does help if you are somewhere where you have friends at the barn and it is also a social setting. Just riding with other people and getting out and doing things helps. Gives you something to look forward to.
Halfing, I had a similar horse. I eventually came to the realization I wasn’t helping him or me by keeping him. It isn’t fair to him if I don’t enjoy riding him, and I found myself making excuses to not show or ride him. So he now has a fabulous new rider who really enjoys him. It is more than I could ever give.
We have to be ok with saying ‘we don’t click with each other. And that is ok’ sometimes I think other pressure us into sticking to something bad for both the horse and rider. I know people pressured me!
[QUOTE=Daisyesq;8795456]
“He ended up not being enjoyable for me to ride…”
I think this is the issue - he was green and intimidated you? Or it was harder to ride than other horses, and your trainer did well (don’t compare yourself to a pro’s skills). Maybe at heart you are competitive and unless you performed well, it wasn’t fun?
Find a new horse partner, if you can afford to continue to take care of your 23 year old.
Or do something completely different with horses?
- Try driving!
- Go to a dude ranch for a week![/QUOTE]
^This^
Or follow the other advice of finding another interest and moving on. You will either get back into horses with a renewed passion after things have changed and you feel the pull back. Or you will find a new passion and will no longer pine for horses. I left for a bit and came back. I have a friend who left, has her horse in retirement, and has new passions and no longer misses the riding anymore at all. She actually will never go back. I got a new horse after a few years. It is different for everyone, but find a new interest and pursue it like you did riding and then see what happens.
From time to time, life gets in the way of riding and I find that the longer I go without riding, the less I want to ride. But, if I force myself to ride, just go out there and get on the horse, whether I want to or not, I find myself saying, “Oh, yeah, that’s right, I love riding. How did I forget that?”
Of course, I have a horse who is The Best Horse Ever and he is the same horse whether I ride him every day or pull him out of the pasture after 3 months of not riding. Thanks to him, I don’t have to contend with the fear factor, which would definitely be an issue for me if I didn’t have him to count on.
Fearing your horse can undermine a person’s riding to the point where they never feel confident again. Stop riding the horse. Let it retire. Go take lessons on other horses. If you want to test the waters.
Just an an additional thought after reading some other replies.
[QUOTE=Velvet;8796658]
Fearing your horse can undermine a person’s riding to the point where they never feel confident again. Stop riding the horse. Let it retire. Go take lessons on other horses. If you want to test the waters.
Just an an additional thought after reading some other replies.[/QUOTE]
This ^. And just another thought, you may have some depression. When I began menopause, I also had developed depression. Saw my Doc and got treated. I began to feel better. This enabled me to find solutions for my very naughty horse, as in a good boot camp with an effective trainer and lessons (albeit on western horses, but lessons all the same) for myself to regain my mojo. Also a fitness regime for myself, at home, to build up my wind and strength.
Now all is great, I ride and train my guy and trailer out for lessons. I feel so much better and think and plan my workout with horsey or am able to anaylse why he is having trouble in aan area and come up with a plan to improve it… In other words, I am like I was before.
Good luck to you, hope you find a solution…
We age, we grow, we learn, we change and we should not be surprised if we don’t want to do the same thing at 50 as we did at 15 - at least I hope so!! I’m really glad I am no longer 15 since I find myself a lot more interesting at 56. As a teenager my ideal horse was a 16.3 TB, now it is a 15.3 cob with excellent brakes. I am going to learn to ride side saddle before the end of the year because it is on my bucket list. I have just had a total brain flip and have decided I am going to have a go at the lowest level of eventing and had my first jumping lesson for about 15 years… So, if you don’t feel happy and pleased with your current horse and feel discouraged, do try something new. The really wonderful thing about riding horses is a basic level of skill can be transferred many different activities. Go on a riding vacation, try dressage on lusos in Portugal, ride over the Andes, hunt in Ireland… allow yourself to have fun again.
Stress in other areas of your life could affect your interest/desire to ride. It did for me. On the one hand, I always felt that I wanted to ride, but the guilt of spending time and money on that instead of “real life” just kept building and building until I couldn’t tell if I actually enjoyed it anymore, or if I just felt like I had to do it because I still had all these unrealized goals in my head that I would definitely never reach if I quit.
I ended up putting the dressage goals on hold entirely and switched to eventing because it sounded fun and like an opportunity to continue improving my riding with completely new activities. I also changed the type of horses I was riding.
The guilt and real life stress are still there, but I’ve never enjoyed riding more. My training is progressing regularly, my skills are improving visibly, and I feel like I’m accomplishing something tangible. It wasn’t an instantaneous change, but my current horse is the type that makes you happy just seeing his face poking out of the stall door. I started to want to go out just to see him, even on the days I didn’t feel like riding. Of course, once I was there, I was inevitably going to saddle up 
So I agree with the posters suggesting you try a different horse, and the suggestion to try new disciplines. Be very honest with yourself about what you want to feel when you’re riding, and what you want to see when you get to the barn, and be particular about finding a horse that meets those qualities. Try lots of different breeds, especially.
Being part of my GMO helps me…a few hours of volunteer ing at a show makes me want to go home and get on.
A friend and I were JUST discussing this this morning after yoga. She is about 4 or 5 years ahead of me on a very similar journey OUT of horses.
There is NOTHING wrong with not be into it. If you really, truly missed it, you would find a way back into it, but you’re not. Why force it? Discover new aspects of your life. Try new hobbies. Enjoy the things that riding and horses don’t always afford us.
I still have two horses (one is 30), and while they are both heart horses and will be going nowhere, I am ok with the fact that my interest in riding has gone done from serious competitor, climbing up the levels, to showing for fun in different things that look fun, to, now, I really just want to ride my horse a couple of days a week and let someone else benefit from his talent and work ethic. If I grow to the point of not wanting to ride at all, I have several trainer friends I would put him with for their students to lease and enjoy until he’s ready to be a pasture puff.
I don’t miss showing or riding. I still love horses and I enjoy my time on the back of my horse, but I’m not worried about forcing myself back to the point I was at. I have a new hobby, I have a very busy and fun social life, a challenging job that sometimes actually makes riding hard (especially in this heat, when I often work during prime riding hours). I’m ok. I enjoyed the journey, I’m open to whatever life offers. If life pulls me back to the horses, then I’ll go back happily and willingly. Right now, life is pulling me the other way.
Breathe. Be open. Horses aren’t everything. It’s ok to move on from them.
I went through the same thing late last year–I had a horse that I loved, but his disgust for the whole dressage thing 
made it not so fun. I’m a pretty competitive person in general, so not being able to show and do well, but more importantly the fact that my horse wasn’t happy made it a chore to ride. Fast forward to now, and I have a new greenie with the best personality who can’t wait to get to work–and the whole thing is fun again!(: but I agree with the others–find out what part you love and try to make that happen! Do you want to take lessons and try to find a schoolmaster so you can learn and possibly show? Do you want to try a new discipline? Or would you rather just take a break from that side and just hack and play around?
Yellowbritches wins my award for BPOT (best post on thread).
Sometimes we feel guilty when our interest in riding wanes. No reason to feel guilty, and I would take a moment to decipher your inner dialogue feeding into that guilt. (this has worked for me)
I have gone through time periods of several years during which I rode very little. Then my interest waxed and I resumed. At one point, I did not ride in an English saddle for 3 years and then got back into riding full force.
Currently, I am waning. I’ve had a horrible turn of events over the past year or so and I am now riding but not competing on a recognized level.
Based on my history, I expect to be out in full force in the future.
It seems to be cyclical.
But at age 60, I am not too confident that my waxing phases will continue to balance my waning phases! :lol:
" I think I have been so committed to keeping my horse and giving him a great, life long home,"
Hey, you are awesome, though!
[QUOTE=Halfling;8795536]
I could have written this post. I am in the same boat only with a younger greener horse. I have my usdf silver medal and had an almost 10-year hiatus from riding. Horse is at home with me and I have no one to ride with. She has not been off the farm much so is really full of herself when we go anywhere. It is a chore to introduce her to new things and it’s hard to motivate to get her out. She also has a huge Canter that is very difficult for me to ride. I am older and in a quandary as to what to do. I totally feel your pain. I think it does help if you are somewhere where you have friends at the barn and it is also a social setting. Just riding with other people and getting out and doing things helps. Gives you something to look forward to.[/QUOTE]
This is me. I love to ride my horse, but it seems like just as we start to make progress, the weather turns foul. I have only a pasture to ride in, no ring, and my horse also can be a handful when taken off the farm. I don’t mind dealing with him, but nowadays, when you have one being naughty in public, you get the hairy eyeball and people outright saying ‘that horse has no business being in public.’ So its a vicious circle - they needs to get out more to get used to it, but no one wants to have greenies around that are acting up in public.
Eventers are the nicest about the ‘crazy’ babies in public, but I’m a cross country chicken.
Interestingly enough, I can equate my loss of interest in riding directly to my increased interest in dressage. I wanted to learn to ‘do it right’ - but haven’t been able to find a trainer willing to work with the limitations of both my farm envirionment, my own lack of skill, and my green horse. Many would put up with 2 or 3 of the problems, but it seems all 3 limitations are a deal breaker. The only person willing to put up with it is an old friend who is a hunter trainer. And truly, I’m not a bad client. I am willing to pay the going rate, don’t expect miracles - I actually prefer the slow, steady method - and my horse, although not highly trained, has a pleasant disposition, cute movement, and a good mind. The answer, of course, is to board somewhere, but after having my own place for almost 20 years, I am a terrible boarder.
To the OP: Sometimes our loss of interest is directly related to the expectations we are having for ourselves and our horses. It sounds like you have a nice, older, 4th level schoolmaster. Lease him and find a horse that’s fun for you personally, regardless of the level or discipline.
