Jeezus let it go. :rolleyes:
Lol so according to you, I’m not allowed to discuss anything with someone unless you approve?
You took the time to post and tell me to stop with an eye roll?
I have every right just as you do yo voice my opinion. Feel free to ignore me.
Yes and I was speaking directly to you. Opening a conversation you keep deflecting.
Freebird, has anything changed? Have you talked to the parents?
Someone should start a companion to the peanut-gallery thread about trainers coaching their clients from the showring rail. Especially the loud trainers.
(If any ASB people here – I’m giving a pass to the legendary Les Corbett’s enthusiastic and high-volume delivery of “yeah boy!!!”)
Maybe at the start of the lesson you tell the parents that anyone who can’t keep their sideline coaching to themselves will not be allowed to watch anymore , because it is distracting to you and your students.
Oh. See I took it as you being a jerk when you say things like I clearly don’t have kids, so shrug maybe take a better look at your opening gambit :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
C’mon, we all know what you’re doing here. Don’t act innocent.
I said I was guessing you didn’t have kids. I imagine it would be much easier to “in theory“ let your kids do those things. It’s different when you have many years behind trying to keep said “kids” alive and you have a strong emotional attachment.
There, now, was it that hard to have a conversation? I guess so.
Just admit you don’t have kids and you don’t know what you’d do in this situation. You’re always such a jerk when it’s unnecessary.
Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was an interrogation and I had to “admit” to anything or that there is a prerequisite for answering posts :lol: I’m the jerk?
It’s hard for you to not be like this, huh? A simple yes or no and you just can’t stop trying to fight. I’m sorry you’re so angry. Are you lonely or something? Try making a friend and talk to them. I feel bad for you.
I did speak to them, and I was able to work it out with all but one family, who I think I just need to be a bit more direct. But all in all, everyone is happy. Thanks for the advice!
Not condescending at all, are you? You and Gesaffelstein are the ones who keep dragging this thread up into a side tangent. A poster posted something relevant, I responded, and now you two can’t let it go. I’m not lonely. I just don’t like rando Internet peeps being all judgey and bringing stuff up daaaaaaays later. Be like Disney and let it go.
Let’s alllll rein in the personal commentary, stop calling each other jerks, and keep the discussion focused on the main topic.
I move to a different end of the arena, if they follow, I move again and again and they eventually get it. I also have it in my rules that they may not give any advice. They may root their child on. Sometimes I will tell a parent that the must stop as they do not know how to ride or have a discussion with them if all else fails. I tell all parents that kids need to make their mistakes to learn and that they should also have fun. I find my parents of special needs are more prone to trying to help and I do get that. Sometimes the best thing you can do is have the convo.
Great update! For the family you had to be more direct with - how did they respond? Just curious…
I finally spoke with the one family I was having the most issues with. I pointed out that while I knew it was hard to stay quiet during lessons, but that their child needed to know that they could trust me. We had a great lesson last week, and I think they were able to see that staying quiet really did help!
Agh I skipped through all the snippiness, so I may be repeating someone’s feelings (and opening myself up to nasty comments. So zipping my flame suit)…
But I actually always found it strange for parents to be at every riding lesson. After all, the activities my siblings and I participated in did not invite parents to practice. I danced and most certainly there were not parents at every lesson (there were open classes periodically so they could see our progress). My mom didn’t sit in my brother’s guitar lessons. School sports definitely didn’t have parents at practice, and if open sports didn’t “ban” them specifically, it was certainly understood they weren’t lurking close enough to participate. Games, recitals… shows… that’s where you want everyone to be there in support of what the kids have been practising.
I understand that there are concerns about predators and abuses of trust. But I think at some point parents need to figure out ways to let their children have their moments of independence. I know personally, even though my relationship with my parents is/was ok, it was still a parent-child relationship and knowing they were watching would have really affected the way my extra-curricular activities helped to develop me as a person.
More specifically related to the OP’s situation. I taught for a bit and parents were not allowed in the barn/indoor arenas during lessons unless it was a specific “viewing week”. If lessons were outdoors, parents could watch, but still not be in the barn (there were always volunteers/staff to supervise and lend a hand). I didn’t really have problems with rail coaching, likely because the barn policies really set the tone of parents being observers, not participants. I know it will be harder since you have established families and habits already, but try to write some policies and framework that emphasize the parents’ role. Put the focus on safety. Another idea: when we did our viewing days, instructors were expected to set aside 5-10 minutes for parent questions. While it does eat up some riding time, if you can find a way to do it, it may really help some of the parents feel their concerns are heard.
Good luck.
This isn’t a guitar lesson with a typical child. This is a special needs child on a horse. Apples and oranges.
I would 100% and have been present for every riding lesson my autistic child rode in.
You must not have kids.
I would have loved not sitting in my car for my kids’ riding lessons or piano lessons, or a bazillion other things. For an hour long lesson, it’s not enough time to do much else. Not enough time to go to the grocery store or the mall, not enough time to meet a friend for coffee, not enough time to go home and come back. I suppose I could have driven around in circles. That would have been fun.
Although, as mentioned, this is not a typical lesson so it’s different. But even if it was…not all parents live 5 minutes from the barn.