I just want to take a moment and thank those who responded to both of our plights with our geldings. I have definitely been thinking about my gelding’s quality of life over the last few months, and really defining in my head what I owe to him. And being able to type it out for the first time and read it back along with others comments does put it in perspective. For a long time i was throwing all the treatments at him because of his young age, and really hopeful that something would eventually work - or we’d find the magic mix of maintenance and treatments to make him comfortable enough to live a quality life. I needed to do those things for him because I knew I’d question myself for the rest of my own life if I didn’t, I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with it, too many “what if’s”. The money spent to do so will make anyone cringe, but in my mind it was money well spent, and had the treatments actually worked, I’d continue with it without question. Selfishly, I wanted to fix him. Yes, for him to have a comfortable and productive life, but for me too. But now that the stones have been turned, and to no avail, I feel a little more at peace with thinking through what the road ahead looks like for him, and myself. Admitting defeat is tough.
At the end of the day, I have changed my stance on what I owe him. Initially it was I owe him a chance at a comfortable, long life. But given all of our failed attempts, I don’t think I owe him a long life at all. I owe him comfort, and if I cannot give that, a peaceful, dignified end. And since we’re struggling with the comfort part, I think I know where I stand. Its a conversation I am prepared to have with my vet. Thank you, all.
