How do you know when it’s time to say goodbye?

[CBS24]

I recently moved my soon to be 23 year old horse home with me. He’s always been on the leaner side and always difficult to keep weight on. Even out in pasture 24/7 he was ribby. His ribs have always shown though he did used to put nice muscling on when I was riding him. Right before Covid, he started having seizures and the vet deemed him unsafe to ride. The seizures seem few and far between from what I’ve seen and the past boarding barns have seen and the vet saw a video of one and said it didn’t seem like he was in pain. We’ve done bloodwork that came back normal. They suggested I could do CT scans but at his age I’ve decided against it.
He has dental issues but I’ve decided to forgo extractions due to cost, age, and his seizure condition.
Now that he’s home with me, he’s getting alfalfa hay but seems to waste A LOT of it. I’ve tried hay nets, hay racks, ground feeding. He only wants the seedy stuff and that’s it. He gets 7 lbs of Triple Crown Senior a day and 6 lbs alfalfa pellets soaked, otherwise he chokes. I really cannot afford to feed him more grain or pellets.

I wish I could afford to pump more money into him. I’ve had him for 11 years, he’s my heart horse and we’ve done a lot together. But he’s also been my money pit and it’s been exhausting trying to figure out what works when nothing seems to. He isn’t terrible. But he is ribby again and lacks a lot of muscling.
The problem is he’s still very spirited and full of life. He acts like he’s in his prime most days. I was planning to see how he does over the summer but I’ve never had to make a decision about when to euthanize a horse. So how do you know when it’s time? Especially if they act fine other than keeping weight on which is starting to take a financial toll on me. If he were mopey most of the time and not wanting to eat, it would be an easy decision….

[endlessclimb]

Will you have pasture this summer?

If yes I’d trudge on to see what Dr. Green can do for his condition.

If no, I’d look to euthanize in a month or so.

At some point, we reach the end of our financial rope. With a horse who has seizures, he is liable to get really hurt somewhere on your property, and force the decision on you.

((hugs))

[McGurk]

It’s never an easy decision, especially when they’re bright eyed and lively.

But…23 and a seizure disorder? Plus severe dental issues?

Today is not too soon.

I would be very worried about the next seizure; about him getting stuck or injured during the seizure, or becoming more debilitated by the next seizure so it’s now an emergency euthanasia.

Or him choking and aspirating.

If you are asking the question “Is it time?”; it’s probably time.

Hugs to you. I have been in your shoes pretty recently and it’s awful.

You’re going to get a lot of advice here about changing his feed and his management, all of well intentioned, some of it very good advice. Taking the advice may improve his quality of life short term, but doesn’t change the big issues.

[McGurk]

@endlessclimb and I posted at the same time, saying pretty much the same thing, but of course, I used more words.

I also wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with saying: “I have put all the money I can afford to into this horse, I can do this much and no more.” For some reason, that comes with a tremendous amount of guilt. But everyone has financial limits, there’s no shame in identifying yours. You are not required to bankrupt yourself to be considered a good horse owner.

I put down two wonderful, beloved senior horses this fall after wrestling with the decision for months. Part of the decision was absolutely financial. At some point I had to preserve my limited resources for the younger, ridable horse. I felt like a villain. But it didn’t make giving the seniors an easy end on a pretty fall day the wrong thing to do.

[cnd8]

I will share with you an article written by a veterinarian that someone shared with me years ago. This article provided so much clarity and so much perspective, and I share it often with anyone battling similar decisions. Hugs to you. I hope this helps.

The Good Death | Dr. Mel Newton

[endlessclimb]

The last few sentences of that really got to me. With my Old Man 25 this year, I watch him very closely.

[CBS24]

Thank you for this

[2tempe]

OP - another factor to consider is the amount of stress placed on YOU as you wonder what’s next or when something will happen, when you write the checks, when you debate what’s the right or wrong thing to do. It is a heavy burden to carry, and I think you know that it is not going to go away.
My heart goes out to you.

[cnd8]

It’s powerful, right?

[endlessclimb]

Big time. We all want “just one more.” It’s a hard pill to swallow that at some point, it’s the last.

[McGurk]

When my wonderful vet arrived to euth my two seniors I asked “The fact that it’s a beautiful day and they’re both fat and shiny means this is the right day to do this, right?” and she said, yes, absolutely, that means it’s the right day.

I have not had a single second’s regret, except for the fact I should have done the lamer of the two sooner. I think he didn’t have a nice life the last couple of months, and that’s on me.

[walktrot]

My gelding Speckles had a failing arthritic knee joint that was losing its flexion. I retired him from riding in June 2021 at 27, when I was 73. The vet said she would let me know when it was time. He was a bundle of energy and responded well to Adequan and Osphos. But the limp was getting much worse although he didn’t show signs of pain. I had his knee and hooves x-rayed every few months and sent them to the farrier. He was amazing farrier. The vet said everything was perfect.

The day the vet said it was time I thought she was jumping the gun, but I picked a date a week later. When someone else was leading him, I had a chance to look at him from the side and behind. That’s when I saw it what the vet saw. The flexion was gone. His knee was losing its ability to control of his hoof. If he dragged his toe in the sand he could put his foot down flat. When he picked it up it curved to the outside and he put it down on the outside edge. I think some scuffs on the right front were signs of stumbles. A couple of days later he wouldn’t walk away from the barn to his favorite selection of grasses and weeds.

I knew it was coming but not so soon. The deterioration was a matter of a few days. Everyone figured he had more months ahead. I tried planning way ahead of time. I cried everytime I read a post on COTH. Our retired vet wrote a book on euthanisia because there wasn’t one. It is amazing - short, detailed, and helped me understand more about what happens and why. As much as I thought I had everything figured out, I didn’t. The biggest change was to have him composted rather than cremated. Cremation means a 50-lb box of ashes or nothing. Composting is the same process as when you bury them. You can get as much or as little as you want from your own horse. I’m thinking about a classic lilac bush.

I didn’t want to make him an old man.

I concentrated on building an image in my brain of my healthy active horse. I had my favorite photo enlarged and custom framed hung in a special location. I talked with our vet about what I grossed me out and what helped. One of the teenagers gave him a bath and braided his mane and tail the day before. The barn made a bed of hay. She sedated him so he looked like he was napping, then put him down, then stopped his heart. I hate the head lyihng on the ground with the whites of the eyes showing. Her tech gently massaged his eye - they won’t close but what I saw was the soft center of the pupil. The compost service came about 30 minutes later. I couldn’t be there when they put his body in the trailer, but friends said it was incredibley sensitive and respectful.

Speckles was well-known in southern Maine. He had a unique relationship with human beings, an aura that was different. He knew when he was doing a therapy lesson and was quiet and patient. He knew if you were in a regular lesson. He let you know if you should be galloping around jumping over things. He figured more out on his own - I couldn’t possibly have trained him People saw him or met him briefly and fell in love instantly. When a woman said he was handsome he turned and looked at her, strolled over when she added he’s gorgeous. We were together for 21 years and I loved to share him with others. Those who knew him well said he touched hundreds of lives in hundreds of diffferent ways. And he helped a few individuals make profound changes in their lives.

I picked 4 pm on Wednesday July 20, 2022, so several people could come after work. I sent an email so anyone could choose to come. There were a few dozen people there, which was helpful for the huge hugs crushing me when he went down. His tail was completely gone, his braids cut off. People still reassure me – it was the right time and I did the right thing.

He is still with me, over my left shoulder. My new buddy Zeke was profoundy shy and hated horses. They truly bonded and Zeke is a different kid. They had a few months together. I’m spending the board money on lessons for a very talented young rider. Specks is still with Zeke also.

Goodbye Old Friend by Dr J. read a few reviews

Compassionate Composting