I am getting more and more frustrated every week with riding. This is something I’ve always wanted to do and always loved, but it seems like every time things start falling into place, the universe conspires against me. I had a great trainer as a child, everything was going well, and all of the sudden my family moves all the way to Argentina. Three years later I restarted riding with a crappy instructor, another trainer(the only person from Argentina to win Olympic gold in showjumping) asked me to train with him, took a lesson there, and the next day my parents had a major financial loss, so we had to cut expenses. Guess which was one of the expenses cut? So I stop dealing with horses for 5 years, my parents bought me a horse, then six months later we moved back to the U.S. I restarted riding 6 years later, bought a greenie, worked really hard, things finally started falling into place, we did very well at shows and we even got a few ribbons at rated shows (not bad for the $1500 wonder mare, I might add). I started looking up stallions so I could breed her and during the vet exam we discovered an 18 lb fibroid. The vet said that he was amazed this mare did so much without bucking me off from pain. The next day she pulled a suspensory, so I decided the best thing for her was to donate her to a therapeutic riding program. For many reasons, I didn’t restart riding until last year. Towards the end of the year I (again) start getting everything together, and I got laid off from work. A month later I’m riding again, and some serious family issues came up so I’ve ended up spending more time in Florida than up here, so I (understandably) lost my new job. So now I’m unemployed, not 100% motivated to look for another job because I know I’m going to end up in Florida again a couple more times, and once again not riding. Now add to that the frustration last year I spent almost every day working at a horse farm where the owner did not allow me to ride because I’m a size 16 now and she says I’m too fat to ride. I’m not stupid enough to want to ride a medium pony, I know I’m too big for that, but she had at least 3 horses at least 16h tall, all warmblood crosses just standing there with no one to ride them when I would have gladly leased one from her.
So anyway, it just seems like there is this evil force that says “Ha! Look at your saddle, and boots, and tackbox getting all dusty! You’re not allowed to ride horses anymore, but I’ll sit right here and you can look at me and miss horses all you want”. I think that maybe I should just quit completely now and sell all my remaining stuff (which my husband will not let me do) but I don’t want to imagine that the next whatever amount of years I have left on the planet will be without another chance. I also don’t want to get enthusiastic about riding and then have it disappear for who knows how long again.
I think catuskate is wrong. Granted, I’m thin and don’t have weight problems, but a couple of my favorite coaches are overweight. (I couldn’t guess at their size because I don’t care as long as you aren’t SO big that you can’t get in the saddle or learn to ride well.)
If you’re built bigger, but have muscle tone and are a tactful rider–keep going.
A break might be in order, but a change of jobs might also be a good idea. Maybe what you need to do is look for a job in horses with someone who understands your desires to ride and is willing to coach you. Do that in trade for mucking and other basic barn duties (or maybe you can manage a barn).
I’m not sure if your family life would allow you to move to pursue the career, but that’s always another option. Good horse people recognize other good horse people.
If none of those work for now, try just taking lessons at a barn with someone who’s good, and trade your labor for the lessons. Be a groom! Do you braid well? Spend your weekends braiding horses for shows in the wee hours of the morning! There are many options. Just think outside of the box a bit more…
It’s all about ME, ME, ME!!! (The only signature worthy of a real DQ.)
Wow a lot of you got quite upset about that woman that told me I was too fat to ride. I really didn’t care about her opinion, or anyone else’s for that matter because I know what horses can handle, and as I said before, I wouldn’t get on something like a fine-boned medium pony. Also, I’ve always said that if someone doesn’t like the size of my @$$, they can look at something else.
I have been reevaluating my riding goals consistently since the first time I got on a horse (back then was to be in the Olympics, but seeing that I’m no threat to Margie, Leslie, or Joe, that’s not it now). Currently my goals are still hopefully attainable, which is to show in the A/O under 35 division, but at this point I am not really in a mood for lessons, plus anything over 2’6 terrifies me and somehow in my obsessive nitpicky mind turns into a puissance wall in a bareback class, so I might have to focus on getting to show in 3’ or 3’3 and see what happens when I’m 36.
I am a very good groom providing I don’t braid. I really suck at anything to do with hairstyles, human or equine, a really bad photographer so that won’t work. I did put up a concession/food stand at horse shows a few times (and to all of you who claim you want healthier food selections at horse shows, you are a bunch of liars 
Anything remotely low-fat did not sell, but the bacon cheeseburgers and chili dogs flew out left and right, as did the fries and diet coke 
)
I’ve made calls to 40+ barns in the past two weeks, just to exchange work for riding, but I got turned down so far by every one. Does anybody have any suggestions as to where I can inexpensively (or for free) advertise “Will work to ride” in Maryland? While in FL I don’t want to ride, I just want to spend that time with my parents and Grandmother, but here in MD I sure could use the riding
i have to agree with velvet. there are a lot of ways to get to ride and take lessons. i used to have several working students who had the devotion but not the money and i certainly was glad to get their help around the barn. if there are barns in your area, i’ll bet there are plenty of owners who are working long hours and would be glad to have someone excercise their horses a few times a week. i know i had a few students who had horses from training lever to intermediaire, who were would have been glad to have them just hacked during the week. where there’s a will, there’s a way. everything else will fall into place, you just have to get a bit creative in your approach.
Where in MD are you located? If you give us an area, maybe we can make some suggestions.
Lorree
Reality is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
You are about to discover one of the real truths about riding - at least for most of us!
There is ALWAYS stuff that get screwed up or in the way.
I learned this lesson in another area of my life completely, but it applies just as well to horses and riding. Most people spend a lot of time “waiting” for the right circumstances to arrive. Think of how many times you’ve thought "I will do X … when I have more money… when I move to such and such… when I get that promotion… when I meet the right person… when the kids are in school… when the kids are (finally!) out of school… when I lose that ten pounds… when I… (fill in the blank.)
Circumstances are rarely perfect. Accept that there are going to be limitations, set backs and challenges. And then do what you want to do, ANYWAY.
My Mom taught me that lesson. Unfortunately, it was from her bed in the hospital where she spent the last 18 months of her life, dying from cancer, regretting all the things she had put off “until…” She made me promise not to make the same mistake. She was only 56 when she died.
Not meant as a downer - my Mom was wonderful - but honestly, you CAN figure out ways to do what you want, if you are willing to accept that the picture may at this point look a little different from some ideal you have become attached to.
Good luck!
I’m in Pasadena (AA County).
There’s so much to chose from in the horse world:
Riding, showing, training, lessons, hacking, owning, leasing, borrowing, barn work…
I think you can do any of these, but not always all of these at the same time.
You may not be able to own and show a horse, but if you look around, I bet you can find one to ride either here or in Florida.
I’ve always worked at barns to ride, this is the first year I’ve owned part of a horse (can’t afford the whole thing). I work and have two kids, but can find time in the early morning or late at night. There’s lots you can do!
Good luck with the horses and families.
A) it is not
B) I should be a size 16
C) what a load of crap
Please, this is such BS, do not take this part to heart because it was out of the mouth of a very rude, very uncaring person.
I am getting more and more frustrated every week with riding. This is something I’ve always wanted to do and always loved, but it seems like every time things start falling into place, the universe conspires against me. I had a great trainer as a child, everything was going well, and all of the sudden my family moves all the way to Argentina. Three years later I restarted riding with a crappy instructor, another trainer(the only person from Argentina to win Olympic gold in showjumping) asked me to train with him, took a lesson there, and the next day my parents had a major financial loss, so we had to cut expenses. Guess which was one of the expenses cut? So I stop dealing with horses for 5 years, my parents bought me a horse, then six months later we moved back to the U.S. I restarted riding 6 years later, bought a greenie, worked really hard, things finally started falling into place, we did very well at shows and we even got a few ribbons at rated shows (not bad for the $1500 wonder mare, I might add). I started looking up stallions so I could breed her and during the vet exam we discovered an 18 lb fibroid. The vet said that he was amazed this mare did so much without bucking me off from pain. The next day she pulled a suspensory, so I decided the best thing for her was to donate her to a therapeutic riding program. For many reasons, I didn’t restart riding until last year. Towards the end of the year I (again) start getting everything together, and I got laid off from work. A month later I’m riding again, and some serious family issues came up so I’ve ended up spending more time in Florida than up here, so I (understandably) lost my new job. So now I’m unemployed, not 100% motivated to look for another job because I know I’m going to end up in Florida again a couple more times, and once again not riding. Now add to that the frustration last year I spent almost every day working at a horse farm where the owner did not allow me to ride because I’m a size 16 now and she says I’m too fat to ride. I’m not stupid enough to want to ride a medium pony, I know I’m too big for that, but she had at least 3 horses at least 16h tall, all warmblood crosses just standing there with no one to ride them when I would have gladly leased one from her.
So anyway, it just seems like there is this evil force that says “Ha! Look at your saddle, and boots, and tackbox getting all dusty! You’re not allowed to ride horses anymore, but I’ll sit right here and you can look at me and miss horses all you want”. I think that maybe I should just quit completely now and sell all my remaining stuff (which my husband will not let me do) but I don’t want to imagine that the next whatever amount of years I have left on the planet will be without another chance. I also don’t want to get enthusiastic about riding and then have it disappear for who knows how long again.
Size 16 too fat??? Well, I am a size 16 as well and in no way, shape or form do I think I am to fat to ride. The horses I have rode have never had a proble carrying me and well, I think it is good for my sole.
It is completely up to you as to whether to continue to ride or not. I personally think you should try and find a way to get in the saddle but that is me. I love riding and find that I could be having the worst day of my life and go out near horses and my troubles would melt away.
Maybe you should just take a break for a while instead of just quiting. I know it will be hard for you, but maybe it is for the best. I am sorry that you are having such a bad time, I hope things start looking up for you!
Carpe Diem (seize the day)
Ditto what Coreene said 
Just because someone is a heavier built doesn’t mean piddly poo about what kind of a rider they are. I had the pleasure to ride with a wonderful girl who I can only guess was a size 20 or +++ (my best friend is a size 14/16 and the girl I rode with was twice the size of my friend) anyways she had the lightest seat ever and judges couldn’t pass placing her in all the eq classes she went in.
Sorry your “horse” life hasn’t been going so smooth. With your life changing right now don’t feel too bad, put it on hold for a bit and when you get settled then take it up again.
The wonderful thing about this world is no matter what goes on there will always be horses, somewhere.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it” -W.C. Fields
i’ve experienced breaks in my contact w/ horses, too. i used to have horse dreams almost every night for 10 years. then i get back into riding, fall in love w/ a certain mare and short while later she gets diagnosed w/ navicular. that was last may. we’re still trying to find a way to ‘manage’ the problem. i work at the barn once a week and sometimes i feel like it would be easier to just quit and forget about everything and take time off. but i know that riding sporadically is better than not riding. and it feels so good on sunday a.m. when i turn the horses out to watch them buck and run and roll - puts the entire world in perspective. and when that cranky, lame mare rubs her chin on me i’m in heaven and i could care less that she’s still and possibly forever lame.
so i won’t give up. and hopefully neither will you. life has its ups and downs. sometimes it seems that ours is always on the down side and everyone else is just having fun. but we all have our share of problems, not necessarily horsey related.
keep venting - i personally think it’s v. therapeutic.
It’s never time to give up, just time to regroup… Reorganize, give it time, and then perhaps find a trail horse or fox hunter… Just make it fun, but wait until you are in a good place for it (in your life, not literally) because if you’re forcing it, it won’t be fun…
1-800
Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
“Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant.”
Since riding isn’t fitting into your life right now, why not address that “size 16” issue. This could be a great time to start a fitness program. It doesn’t have to cost money and you could basically start a workout program anywhere.
Those boots and saddle that are talking to you should be a good incentive.
Good luck, and if you wait it out things usually come around.
“The older I get, the better I used to be, but who the heck cares!”
Oh and that thing about being too big to ride, that’s total bull…
1-800
Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
“Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant.”
Do you know the one about the man who climbs to his rooftop during a flood? Before the water gets too high, an all terrain vehicle comes to evacuate him. “Don’t worry,” he says, “God will take care of me.” As the water climbs higher some rescue men come by on a boat. “Don’t worry,” he says again, “God will take care of me.” As the water laps at the edge of the roof, a helicopter comes by to drop a ladder. He waves them off, shouting into the wind “Don’t worry - God will take care of me!” Shortly thereafter a large wave comes and washes him into the flood where he drowns.
Standing before God he asks plaintively, “God, I thought you would take care of me. Why did you let me drown?” God replys, “I sent you a truck, a boat and a helicopter - what more did you want me to do?”
The point is, sometimes we get signs. We must interpret them and make decisions based on them. Are the fates trying to tell you something? I don’t know. I know someone who seemed to have even worse horse karma than you. Every horse she worked with and allowed herself to care about ended up with a crippling disease, being immediately sold, or dying. She got a job at a barn she adored and within 2 months it burned to the ground! 
She was a very good rider, but after that she decided to leave horses for a while. I don’t know whether she ever took it up again.
If you really, really want to ride again, you will. Even now, if you explained every detail of your life to us (please don’t 
) I’m sure we could disect it and tell you “cut this out to save money for lessons” “give this up and offer to help at volunteer program” or “tell your family to just deal w/it w/o you and go ride” but only YOU can decide what’s right for you.
If you want to badly enough, you will. If you can’t make time or find money for it, don’t beat yourself up, it just means you don’t want to badly enough, and there’s nothing wrong with being a former rider. You’ll always be a horse lover!
~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”
