How Do You Know You're in a Bad Horse Movie?

[Sticky_Situation]

[QUOTE=Sandy M;7942341]
The Horse with the Flying Tail has more than the “misunderstood horse,” component. Other than the fact that apparently Nautical was not an easy ride, the only “accurate” part of it is the actual film of the horse jumping in competition. While he was what now would probably be termed an Appendix QH, he was bred to be a jumper, sired by a Palomino QH out of an Army remount mare (probably mostly TB), though they probably didn’t think he’d be an Olympic quality jumper. He was never a cow pony or “abused” rent/lesson horse. That is all Disney fantasy. He was competing as a jumper when Hugh Wiley bought him, but was considered somewhat “unreliable,” but Wiley and deNemethy obviously solved that problem. LOL So, I’d go with “Disney” in the title probably guarantees inaccuracy.

The Year of the Horse - the book upon which The Horse in the Grey Flannel Suit was based, was soooooo much better than the movie, though the movie is amusing. Why is it that 90% of childen in Disney movies have lost a parent? The father in the book was very much married, not a widower.[/QUOTE]

I haven’t read “Year of the Horse” but I may have to look for it because I always liked the movie. But I’ll bet making the dad a widower was a convenient way to make the romantic subplot with the horse trainer less scandalous … Disney probably thought an extramarital affair was not appropriate content for a family movie!

And kids with two surviving, caring parents probably aren’t considered plucky underdogs.

[OverandOnward]

This was actually real life … many years ago in her early days, Martha Stewart was showing how to manage compost on her show, filtering out the big chunks by lifting shovelfuls of muck and slamming the muck down on a screen frame she had made. Martha was wearing a beautiful thick wool cable-knit off-white sweater while she did this, and not getting a speck on it.

I knew then I could never hope to do anything Martha Stewart did. I couldn’t even get into the barn car in such a pale gorgeous sweater without getting specks of many shapes, colors and odors deeply embedded in it …

[Wellspotted]

Not exactly a horse movie, but last night in Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood a knight in full chain mail was doing dressage on a Friesian. Now I guess I can imagine a 13th-century Norman riding a Friesian, but doing upper-level dressage? My history books taught me that English knights rode the predecessors of our Shires, Clydesdales, Suffolk Punches.

I can think of at least one thing Martha Steward did that I’d never want to do! :eek:

[OverandOnward]

[QUOTE=Field of Dreams Mini Horses;7942459]
That, and the horses just stand there, tied. Quietly. For hours. Mine would be: pick on your buddy, dance, chew the rail, holler to the horse across the street, dance some more, paw, chew the rail again, paw a hole up to his knee. Etc.[/QUOTE]

And the horse stands quietly while the actor sitting on him delivers dramatic lines. However long that takes.

Mine, who will stand just a little bit, would be lifting one foot in the air then putting it down while looking around to see what the other horses are doing, then leaning this way and that to show me that he isn’t actually moving his feet, now poking his nose to irritate another horse, add some shuffling, maybe a tail swat and/or a mini head toss, trying a step backward …

[Wellspotted]

I’ve often wondered why the horses in movies never refuse to go through water, never refuse to cross a bridge, never spook the second they hear their own hoofbeats on it, and why their riders never ever tighten their cinches before untying them from the hitching post where they’ve been standing for a two-drink minimum outside the saloon, and then galloping off down the street.

I was thinking of COTH when I watched The Long Shot the other night and noticed many more mistakes than I’d ever noticed before in that movie. Thanks to COTH! :lol:

[wcporter]

Girl is a fabulous rider with natural-born talent. Has never taken a lesson in her life but easily trains wild/unbroken/problem horse to Grand Prix level with just a few “bumps” in the road.

i.e., wild, unbroken horse bucks/rears/spooks and rider falls off in a heap of dirt on the ground. She cries and gets frustrated and considers giving up. But then said wild horse comes over and nuzzles teary girl and convinces her not to give up/give it one more try. So she gets back on and they suddenly have a majikal connection with no more issues ever again. The end.

[danceronice]

[QUOTE=Field of Dreams Mini Horses;7942459]
That, and the horses just stand there, tied. Quietly. For hours. Mine would be: pick on your buddy, dance, chew the rail, holler to the horse across the street, dance some more, paw, chew the rail again, paw a hole up to his knee. Etc.[/QUOTE]

Oh, see, “Stand tied and don’t move or do anything” would be Lucky’s dream job, right behind “Sit there and hold still while your rider talks to people.”

No matter when the show/movie is set, absolutely everyone has invented stainless steel bits. Western pleasure and trail saddles (ie not genuine period cowboy working saddles) turn up in the unlikeliest places.

War Admiral magically grows two full hands and changes from seal brown to black. (“Seabiscuit” only.)

[PeteyPie]

All stagecoaches are pulled by galloping horses. Actually, all wagons are pulled by galloping horses; a trot does not exist. The exception is the period pieces in England where everything to do with coaches and carriages looks correct, to my non-driving eye. Well, except for the popularity of Friesians, even there.

[Rackonteur]

I think one horse in a four-in-hand actually cantered a few strides in one of the Jane Austen movies!

[Sandy_M]

[QUOTE=Wellspotted;7944476]
Not exactly a horse movie, but last night in Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood a knight in full chain mail was doing dressage on a Friesian. Now I guess I can imagine a 13th-century Norman riding a Friesian, but doing upper-level dressage? My history books taught me that English knights rode the predecessors of our Shires, Clydesdales, Suffolk Punches.

I can think of at least one thing Martha Steward did that I’d never want to do! :eek:[/QUOTE]

My understanding is that Suffolk Punches are the only draft breed NOT to have been used as a war horse, but bred strictly for agricultural purposes. (Cf. Marguerite Henry’s Album of Horses)

[RHdobes563]

[QUOTE=Rackonteur;7945439]
I think one horse in a four-in-hand actually cantered a few strides in one of the Jane Austen movies! ;)[/QUOTE]

I was really impressed with Sense and Sensibility when the family had to move. There were (at least) three vehicles pulled by beautifully MATCHED horses. I always wondered who they belonged to–MOST likely driving competitors, I would think. Of course, there was also the requisite Friesian ridden in one or more scenes.

I liked the stories told about the horses used in the British series, Robin of Sherwood. They had two horses used a LOT in various scenes—one white and one black. The white horse was super quiet, used a lot for Not-Really-Riders. If you watched the show, you would see its rider constantly kicking the horse to keep it moving. The black horse was notorious for flatulance, and in the RoS outtakes, you could hear the farts, and the funny reactions from the actors.

Mark Ryan, who played Nasir, also commented about how fun it was to ride one horse, an ex-polo pony. Said it responded INSTANTLY to cues.

[SuzieQNutter]

@Wellspotted;7944476

Not exactly a horse movie, but last night in Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood a knight in full chain mail was doing dressage on a Friesian. Now I guess I can imagine a 13th-century Norman riding a Friesian, but doing upper-level dressage? My history books taught me that English knights rode the predecessors of our Shires, Clydesdales, Suffolk Punches.

Which upper level dressage movements?

Dressage movements did start off in war. A capriole was used when surrounded by the enemy. The horse jumped up and kicked out to remove the enemy there then you spin around and gallop out through the hole you made.

[Naina78]

When “based on a true story”, exaggerate or make things up about the antagonists, just to make sure your audience gets it. 18-hand War Admiral, anyone?

[HunterJumper_3]

Poor girl who can’t afford lessons has to do chores in order to train with old, grumpy trainer and pinto horse…then suddenly, when the show comes - she owns a $400 GPA helmet!

[RPM]

I think those dressage battle movements came along with the light cavalry sometime after the Middle Ages, didn’t they? Weren’t some of them also adopted from the Saracens the Crusaders fought? I never heard of the heavy horses (the Great Horse, et al.) doing any Airs Above the Ground, not with a knight in full armour on their back.