how do you say no to people that want thier children to ride your horses and ponies

[Bluey]

[QUOTE=morganpony86;6991442]
I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but the OP said something that made me think…

My neighbors often allow their kids/grandkids to come up to my pasture fence (it’s along the property line) and pet my horses. Now, with my two old Morgans, this wasn’t an issue, but I have concerns with my young TB that he may get spooked, turn, and kick out, or really any of my horses may give a friendly “love bite” looking for treats. I’ve told them of the dangers and asked them to stop, but they keep on going saying they’re “farm people, and we understand how to be around horses.” Sigh. I can’t stop them, because they’re on their property, just reaching over the fence.
What is the liability issue if your horse is on your property (properly fenced in), someone else is on a neighboring property, and they get injured because they’re reaching over/through the fence?[/QUOTE]

In your situation, you have to fence your horses away from where people in their own place or public roads have access to your horses.
That is for you and your horse’s safety.

Legally, you are responsible to keep the public safe and that may mean double fence your perimeter pastures.

You could make a lane where you can ride to exercise your horses, etc., so it is not wasted space.:yes:

We just don’t put any horses in any but interior pastures.
A neighbor may have their horses get out, or a clueless one turn horses out by our fence.
Barbed wire fences and horses across each other don’t mix, even with hot wire.:eek:

The legal term of having something that may attract the public, especially if they can be harmed by it without even trespassing, is “attractive nuisance”.

Check with a local attorney for whatever laws apply where you live, but those seem to be very much the same most places.

As one lawyer told me, “give me an injured party, especially a kid and they just won the lottery.
Any lawyer worth it’s degree will get them all you have”.:no:

[keatssu]

I won’t even let my neighbor’s dog near my horses. One was visiting us with his dog. The dog went under the fence of the pasture and was in with the horses. I asked him to get his dog out of the pasture and he said “oh my dog is fine with horses.” I told him that I’m not sure how my horses are with dogs, so “go get him, NOW.” I don’t even let my own dog near my horses.

People asking to come out and ride isn’t an issue for me, but I think it is rude of people to do so.

[trubandloki]

[QUOTE=horseymum;6992698]
She isn’t at home a the moment but at a great boarding/lesson barn with lots of kids. DD’s trainer is quite happy for us to bring a friend out on a quiet day as long as they are properly dressed and sign a waiver and insurance stuff.[/QUOTE]

I think that is one difference. It is the boarding barns insurance that would take the hit if something went wrong.

[glimmerling]

Since I run a lesson/boarding barn my answer to “Can I ride your horses?” is a complete 180 from most posters! But, what I get allllll the time is can I feed in exchange for lessons and the less annoying but still uninformed we can feed for you, we’d love to help feed the horses.

Now, i love my lesson students, they’re a pretty dedicated bunch but I wonder with all the horror stories I tell (flirt tried to die this weekend. preston’s knee is the size of a grapefruit, on and on and on) why they would even want to be at my barn without me here!

My experience, though, with the come ride your horses thing is exactly the same as everyone else’s. Sure, i say, I charge XX dollars for lessons, here’s my availability, want to schedule a time is met with the same blank eyed stare as ya’lls no. Because, of course, the question is…can I come ride your horses for free?

[Frank_B]

[QUOTE=Cuardach;6991117]
I’m sure this question’s been asked before but how in the world can i politely say no to friends, neighbors, and even people at work who think its ok to ask if their kids, or even themselves can just come out to my farm and ride…[/QUOTE]
Just ask them if they’d be comfortable turning their little darlings loose with a NASCAR race car or a loaded gun.

Often, but not always, a bit of hyperbole can penetrate even the thickest of skulls.

[meupatdoes]

No is a complete sentence.

I don’t try to convince anyone (“my horse bucks, my horse is very high spirited or whatever”) because that is basically asking them to agree with you that they don’t want to ride your horse after all. It’s not their decision to decide “I don’t want to after all,” it’s YOURS to say that your horses, property and time are off limits to them. Phrasing it the other way basically says, “Well, yes, my time is your time and my horse is your horse but hopefully you will decide you don’t want it after all.” I mean, I don’t get to tell the president, “Oh, ok, I guess I don’t want to ride on Air Force One then, so it’s ok.” No. Air Force One is not mine and it is off limits. I have no say in the matter and I don’t get to be annoyed at the president for “not sharing” his plane when “all I want is a quick ride,” and the president does not have to make some lame excuse about liability or the seats being uncomfortable. He just says no. In fact, I don’t presume to ask because I kind of GET IT that I don’t just get to ask people to ride around in their planes, any more than I walk up to the window of a Maybach that is stopped at a light and say, “Hey! I’ve never been in one of these! Mind if I hop in for a quick spin around the block? You have 15 minutes, yes? Can I drive too?”

So just say no. You don’t need to come up with some lame liability excuse, no is enough. Because it’s your horse, and your time, and you are in no way obligated to share, and if you do share it is YOUR decision whether you would like to do so, not theirs to decide whether they want it after all or not.

[chestnutmarebeware]

If you have OTTBs, you can use the method I always utilize. Tell them (with a lot of sympathy and sadness in your voice) “Ohhhh, sorry. My horses are ex-racehorses… they ran for years.”

Trust me, you don’t have to explain anything about the suitability of chestnut Storm Cat mares for beginners. They hear ‘racehorse’ and drop the request immediately! :lol:

[eclipse]

Luckily I’ve not had many people ask! My neighbour did once…she was also a bit of a whackadoodle and I simply said “sorry no”. When she asked why not, I just replied “because its MY horse”. She’s never asked since LOL

[Bluey]

I just had someone ask me when they can bring their grandkids out so I can give them rides.:rolleyes:

I told him, “our horses are not that kind, he has to take them to a riding center for that, with the kind of horses you use for kids.
Our horses are performance horses in training, not suitable to give kids rides.”

Not much they can say to that.

[Lady_Eboshi]

How 'bout “He’s not broke.” (But YOU will be!)

[GaitedGloryRider]

I recall someone answering the “can I ride your horse?” question with “sure, if I can **** your husband!”

Didn’t go over to well but it got the point across I guess.

[dmj]

yep, the old “Well, he IS an ex-racehorse” usually dissuades them pretty quickly.

[stolen_virtue]

Well, I have a great babysitter of a horse so I am happy to have anyone come out and ride him. I have had co-workers’ little kids on him and I lead him around, they must have a helmet on and sign a release. I am happy to put a smile on a little ones face. One little girl even started taking lessons.

[rustbreeches]

When I had a barn full of racehorses training off the farm, I always had one or two that were quiet enough that after they came in from galloping, I could toss a little kid up on and lead them a couple turns around the shedrow with someone walking along side.

I have been friends for nearly 20 years with a family that would stop on their walks and look at my horses in the paddocks. I invited them in to put their little girl up on my pony. She still rides to this day.

It depends on how they ask, and their manners, but I rarely say no to friends and relatives for a one time deal.

I have no problem saying no to someone I barely know, or can’t stand!

And if we are going to make TB’s popular again, lets not perpetuate the myth that they are fire breathing dragons that eat small children. The person you are saying it to may end up a rider!

[geog272]

When I first bought my 14h mare, my (quite overweight, nearly 60 yo) MIL wanted to ride her. She had ridden a bit as a teenager, so I should have been prepared for the question, but wasn’t. I could have said “she’s not suitable for a beginner” or “the barn’s insurance won’t allow it” – both of which would have been true, but, instead I blurted out without thinking first – “She’s too small for you.” Which also was true! But not complimentary. Oh well, it worked – haven’t heard a peep about it since!

[Equibrit]

" how do you say no to people that want thier children to ride your horses and ponies"

Not only no - but HELL NO !

[SuzieQNutter]

I had the same problem with hubby’s sister, who figured that her kids could come and ride my horses.

I did all of above, told her no they are not beginner horses. Take them to XXX first to learn how to do a rising trot, etc, etc.

So at a family function she raised her voice to ask why her kids couldn’t come and ride my horses.

I turned around and my voice is a lot louder when raised than hers and told her no, because when her daughter had a broken neck, she would be very upset and I wouldn’t want it to become between her and her brother.

She never asked again.

[Countrywood]

Find a stable nearby that gives beginner / children lessons. and/or nose to tail trail rides. Then direct these folks there.

“What a lovely idea, but horses not used to giving lessons can be unpredictable so I’m sorry, but I can’t. I heard that X stables nearby gives wonderful lessons for children (or new riders if an adult)” And smile.

IF they say, I don’t want lessons, I just want Suzy to sit on a horse ! , Direct them to a pony ride place or a place you found that gives trail rides. You might have to repeat several times that your horses are unsuitable even for a pony type lead, that those ponies are selected and trained for that.

Now the ball is in their court. If they are too cheap/unmotivated to sign kid or themselves up for a few lessons or a trail or pony ride, not your problem.

Of course different when it is someone YOU want to invite. It reminds me of people who feel entitled to their kids running over and swim in a neighbor’s pool kind of situation, but that must be even worse (for the pool owners)

[Equibrit]

Just ask them how much the little darling is insured for.

[DaniW]

[QUOTE=2horseygirls;6991158]
Thanks for posting this! I appreciate seeing the other side of the situation, which I had honestly never thought of before. I assume everyone loves to share their horses, but I always ask my friends with horses when it is convenient to come over, even my girlfriend who entrusted me with foal watch and participating in her foal’s birth. I would never show up unannounced, or bring anyone with me unless she knew and agreed.[/QUOTE]

I always think it is a rare and wonderful person who would want to share their horses.

When I was a kid, I went around asking people for rides, absolutely, because you never know when someone will let you ride and I always found people who were happy to. However, I did not expect them to say yes and I was very grateful to the people who did.

When I had a horse that was a safe horse I would be happy to let people ride him briefly under my direct supervision but when he was younger, no way.

And when I was asked to lend out my current horse to a person I only know superficially I was very offended and told her that he was not available for other people to ride without elaborating. I had thought she wanted to ride with me but no she wanted to borrow my horse so her friend could ride with her.