I really think people should make an effort to not use the derogatory words, and foster a culture of respect around animals. The students at my barn know it’s not allowed to speak unkindly about the horses. If someone’s boyfriend were calling them a b**** or a parent was telling their kid that the kid is stupid or a manager was telling an employee s/he is a jerk, I would feel the same way. And saying it with a loving tone does not fix it in my view (even though the animal may not be offended) because it’s coming from a place of disrespect, and it’s creating the wrong example for others.
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I grew up in the culture of saying things like “my horse is being a jerk,” or “that horse is an *sshole,” or “my stupid horse did XYZ,” etc.
It bothers me a lot more today than it did 20 or more years ago.
I am still guilty of doing it, like with my one mare who seems to get her entertainment from pushing my buttons. You will totally hear me going, “stop being such a b*tch” to her, unfortunately.
But I approach situations with a lot more curiosity with horses and people alike. I try not to jump to negative assumptions and personal attacks because a horse (or a person) reacts in a manner I find undesirable. Rather, I ask myself, “what’s going on here?”
In the end, the only thing I can truly control is my own reaction to a situation. Say Dobbin spooks hard in the middle of an otherwise flawless dressage test. I can get angry and call Dobbin a d*ckhead and tell everyone how the jerk ruined our score, or I can roll with it and try to figure out what I can do differently next time to prevent it from happening. I feel a lot better when I do the latter. 
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Usually I don’t talk about my horses at all since they are at home and I have no-one who cares. This morning I called my mare all sorts of things ( none of them kind or endearing ) since she squeezed out of the dry lot and onto the pasture without her muzzle.
Took me forever to get her back in the dry lot and eventually get her caught.
She has been especially difficult this year in getting her muzzle on.
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I dont think words matter so much as tone, body language and intent. I try to pay more attention to what people do than what they say.
Generally how people talk to and about their horses is a carryover from how they comport themselves in life and with people. The slangy wanna be cool teenager saying horse is an asdhole and tried to kill her and probably says similar things about her frenemies. She may or may not be actually riding with tact and skill. Or the adult ammie who is all cutesy cutesy cuddle puff while her horse nips her, mugs her, and runs her over in hand. Or young adults who know how to keep a good face on things, but the horse relationship is falling apart. Or pro trainers who are usually silent unless there’s an emergency, are careful what they say because the horses are for sale, but can certainly lay on fast effective punishment when a horse steps out of line.
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Mmm’kay, so for instance, when my horse behaves like a grande asshole and kicks another horse in the field, I should take responsibility for that behaviour instead of putting it down to horses sometimes being assholes. Ok, noted. 
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Except that the horse is working out horsey social relations, dominance or response to threat. Feral horse posture and kick out and run away until equilibrium is achieved in the band and everyone knows their role. Horses in and out of turnout or in a confined space may not develop a stable herd situation and may continue trying to sort these questions day after day. If you have a horse that is consistently acting like this or a pair that set each other off you do need to consider moderating the turnout situation because there is no escape otherwise. The horse isn’t being an asshole. He’s being a horse. He has a reason for posturing and for striking out.
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Not a horse, but: I call my one (27 lb) dog “little shit” when I can’t find him in our big yard because he’s under a bush hunting something (which is usually nothing) and he wont come when called.
Well, I’m a sarcastic person, and, though I don’t believe in calling animals bad names, doofus just fits a big, goofy gelding perfectly. We treat the horses with respect and proper care. They eat before e do, etc… The horses respond to our attention positively and seem to enjoy being around us. We’re affectionate without being sappy, both to our pets and each other. It works for our family.
The only person I remember actually using bad word names for the horses they worked with was when I was in college and a classmate of mine was working in equine lameness research. They purposely broke the bones of horses picked up cheap at auction to research orthopedic surgical methods. It was absolutely brutal. She wanted to be a vet and thought this would ‘toughen her up’. This was in the 90s. I truly hope such research would not be approved today.
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Bribery?
I give my mini a low-sugar treat when I put his muzzle on every morning.
If he had thumbs I think he’d put it on himself 
Flipside is when I go to feed in the evening, he marches up & demands it come OFF!
My horse is perfect, naturally, so if I call him anything but his name it’s probably “furball”.
I have called more than one horse “turkey” or “goober” to their faces when they know better than to behave the way they’re doing but they can’t contain themselves, and “son of a gun” if they know better and they’re doing something rude deliberately.
Look, if a 10-year-old who has been well brought up decides to rip his lead shank out of my hands and take a tour of the farm when I’m bringing him in from turnout, and tries to double barrel me on his way to do it, unkind words will be spoken while I chase him around the property with a grain bucket in my hand. In such a situation I’ll stand by every word I said, but the point is that as soon as I catch the horse that’s the end of it. He gets led in, walked until he’s cool, and nothing more is said about it unless I have to describe his exploits to explain why it took me so long to get him.
Also, ponies know what they’re doing and they’ve earned what was said.
I generally agree with naming the deed and not labeling the doer, whether horse, human, or dancing bear; but I figure everyone cares more about the species equivalent of a neck rub and a good ear scratch than the fact that I just called them a goofball. Actions speak louder.
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I call my old man all sorts of stuff. We’ve been together for 21 years now, and I’m the only one who holds him accountable to the training he has. Everyone else is just happy that he’s so safe and is reasonably well behaved. I expect certain things from him, and so in a way we kinda dislike each other at this point. He is The Patron Saint Niko, and I appreciate his safeness deeply from the bottom of my heart. But some of his shenanigans that he ONLY pulls with me because I’m the ONLY one who asks him for what he knows - it’s annoying. He’s also got some serious RBF. That said, if he doesn’t work a little he falls apart. Tough nuts, old man.
The young one’s name is Shayney Mahaney. I call her Shayney No Brainy. She’s sweet. She’s got talent. She’s also… well, ditzy for lack of a better word. Just not situationally aware. More like a gelding than a mare in that regard.
I call my horses all sorts of names. I love my horses. I’m not as crunchy granola as some people - I started in the western world, which has different standards (particularly for ground manners). It’s not abuse, for example, to expect a horse to stand tied indefinitely. Or to lead quietly behind me, with slack in the rope.
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Opposite of me then! I endearingly refer to mine as “stupid” and “dummy”. It doesn’t bother me, but that type of playful demeaning language is common in my friend groups. My mother would never refer to her friends how I refer to mine (and they do in kind).
I’ve had people think I actually think my horse is stupid and explained to them “no, she’s just a baby with baby brain so sometimes walking into our stall is scary”. I also know my horse doesn’t understand my words (just my tone) and won’t care.
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I’ll call mine all sorts of colorful things if they rip up the new blanket I just bought 
I never blame the horse for my bad riding (or bad handling) however. Those “shite” groups do frequently set my teeth on edge.
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agreeing that there is a big difference in the status of a horse to human in Western.
I don’t know which way you slanted that, but from the western folks I’ve been around the horse is a partner. With that comes the expectation that there will be no outrageous shenanigans from either side. The consequence to that is getting tied, or getting shuffled around fast to make it a “poor life choice”. My horses are not beat up, they are not scared. They’re just expected to regulate their emotions (ETA, or should i say, reactions) enough to keep us both safe.
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An example of today, why I call my Old Man all sorts of stuff…
Asking him to move off my inside leg to my outside rein, I’m getting zero. A dial tone. No one is home.
I clear my throat abruptly, like you would to get someone’s attention. AHEM.
Boom, he moves off my inside leg into my outside rein. Whyyyyy Niko did I have to enforce it like that? Just do it for God’s sake, you’re smart enough to know who is sitting up here.
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You missed my middle sentence.
i’m not a western person in tack or culture and am unfamiliar with their horsemanship mores. So, if you say they view their horses as partners, that sounds nice to me.
The ones I’ve been around have. But it’s a more no-nonsense way of handling. No crap given, no crap taken. It’s a black and white thing for manners. I find the horses enjoy this more than being allowed to do whatever they want - drag people, spook on top of them, paw while tied, freak out while tied and the owner unties them, scream endlessly when they should be focused… etc. Having set rules and expectations ultimately makes them relax more. Just my opinion.
I’m sure there are bad western people out there, just like with any discipline.
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i’m a R+ trainer so that style is not one i adhere to. Have same goal but a different road and timetable to getting there.
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